You could paint libraries…
I used to drive an elderly Honda Civic. Just before it finally went to the great highway in the sky I was driving to the shops, and, while stopped by the lights at a T junction, just before they turned green, the engine suddenly cut out without warning. The road layout meant I was completely blocking the right turn, with a queue of cars honking behind me. A wee bit stressful. While I’m trying to restart the ignition, with the car just giving a few feeble clicking noises amidst the chorus of honks, a guy pulls up in the left turn lane next to me, winds down the window and yells ‘Your brake lights are on!’ gives me a patronising smile and a thumbs up and drives off.
Because of course, the first thing you think when you see a stationary vehicle blocking the road isn’t ‘Has that car broken down?’ it’s ‘Oh, that person must have no idea how to drive. I’d better tell them’. It’s got to be about 5 years ago now, but I still kind of want to punch the guy.
“Art is a good hobby, but you’ll never make any money at it” - my family
I now make more money as an artist than they do in their respective fields, so clearly it was bad advice.
Congratulations, but that advice, generally speaking, is sound, as you probably know quite well.
“Get over it.”
Yeah, sure; okay, done. 
I was flying out to see an ex-boyfriend, who was now a good friend. My aunt’s husband* sat me down to “challenge” me. “You need to go back there and marry him. Otherwise you’ll end up old and alone.”
*They married after I was an adult and had no children of their own. Hence, not my uncle.
I got married in my 20’s. I am now sitting here “old and alone” because shit happens and there are no guarantees. But, honestly, being single isn’t nearly as scary as some people think it is.
Worst is if people tend to assume you’re available whenever they want because “well you’re not doing anything, so…”
I’m not really sure what was the worst or most condescending advice I’ve been given but it either came from my parents, a teacher or school admin, or here on the Dope.
“You really need to start a family. You’re going to regret not having any, you’ll miss so much of life!”
Pushin’ 60 pretty hard here and zero, zilch, zippo regrets. And I’m especially glad now that I don’t have to watch adult kids and their kids deal with this pandemic nightmare.
Years ago I had a big cyst in one of my breasts. I went to a doctor who drained the fluid took a couple of test and then told me, that while the cyst wasn’t malignant, I should get it removed, because otherwise it would always come back.
And then he told me to get a good surgeon because “your breasts are rather small and you can’t afford to lose any volume”… .
I hit the big time with my rock n’ roll band
The future’s brighter now then I ever planned
I’m ten times richer than my big brother Bob.
But he’s got a haircut and he’s got a “real job!”
I’ve always been a fan of dancing. I like watching people dance and I like dancing myself. I have a secret dream that one day I will wake up and be a dancing queen. But alas, I’m a horrible dancer, so I only dance for my own enjoyment. I dance a lot, but no one would know this because I don’t dance in front of others. Anytime people have watched me dance, they have laughed at me and told me to stop. So it’s a private pasttime for me.
One day I was telling someone that I am a horrible dancer and they said something like “Well, if you would just try harder maybe you wouldn’t be so bad.” I wanted to strangle them.
There’s a widespread belief that clumsiness is due to lack of effort.
You should swallow your pride and take some dance lessons. You would get better and you would enjoy it. Life is not long enough not to do what you enjoy.
(I’m assuming you haven’t. Maybe you did. Interpret this post in a kindly way.)
Yes, if I took dance lessons I would get better at dancing, but I would still suck at dancing and the lessons would have been a waste of time and money.
I have taken lessons, thankyouverymuch. I hate to be snarking back at you, but your attitude is exactly what I’m talking about.
It’s like when I tell people that I suck at yoga and they tell me I need to take lessons…not considering that the reason I know I suck at yoga is because I’ve taken several years of yoga lessons and still struggle with the most basic poses. I enjoy yoga very much and practice it in my living room every week. But it isn’t something I enjoy with other people since I struggle with balance and coordination so much. It simply isn’t fun for me to spend an hour keeping up with people who are able to do things I can’t do. It was theurapeutic to experience this week after week because I did become desensitized to my own anxieties and self-consciousness. But it wasn’t an enjoyable experience. So I don’t need someone who probably does not know how it feels to be in my shoes to tell me to “swallow my pride”, like my problem is emotional rather than neurological. Get the fuck out of here with that! I am one of the most disinhibited people I know. I just know what I do and don’t enjoy.
I enjoy dancing very much. I probably would enjoy it even more in front of an impressed audience, but I enjoy it just fine in private.
Thank you! Thank you for articulating so well into words what I’ve always felt, and still do feel. In this case it’s the game of golf.
I’ve gave it every shot, but I just don’t “have it”. Once in a blue moon I can put all the pieces together and actually hit a ball well, but I am at the conclusion that I lack the co-ordination needed. I’ve been “coached” by several people. I know what it is I must do, and what moves I must make: It’s just that I. CANNOT. MAKE. MY. BODY. OBEY. the certain order of movements with the nuance needed.
No, it’s not just a matter of my being too stubborn to listen to Mr Egoist Lovesestogiveadvice, as he seems to think. It’s not that I just need to “apply myself”, as another well-meaning but clueless type says. Or that I just need to play and practice more. Zero times zero is zero. Zero times a hundred is zero. Zero times a thousand is zero. I’ve been spitting in the over the course of years: I aint gonna make up for suckieness by weight of sheer volume; trust me.
After instructions over the course of 15+ years, I suck at it just a tiny bit less. I ain’t having fun seeing me suck while others take to it easily. So to them I say, just admit it: you want to to hang on and stay with it just enough to think I eventually play with you, but still suck enough so you can all beat the pants off of me in every game and feed your egos. Don’t push me any more. If you do, my type-B personality notwithstanding, I’m going to get violent.
Oh, you’re Elaine Benes!
I used to get the same thing, but with guitar playing. Like most guys at 16 I wanted to do it, so I got one as a gift and took lessons. total waste of time. I basically have zero talent in those kinds of creative arts (drawing, music, singing, etc.) and I never got any better than being able to sort of stumble through a few songs. But for a while afterward I got most variations of “you should have kept at it” or “it’s never to late to try again” which I brush off.
I know the saying is it’s 10% talent and 90% practice, but if you don’t have that 10% then all the practice in the world isn’t going to help.
It’s a true saying, but not because all you need to do is practice to become adept. It’s true in the sense that having a knack, an inclination, for something is the spark only. After that, the key ingredient is enjoying practicing. I “could have been” an excellent novelist, editor, painter, singer, and several other things in that general area. But I was only a good bit better than average, because I do not have the personality which likes doing the same thing for thirty years, honing and polishing and experimenting. I’ve finally accepted that.
Once I had to escort around a colleague from Kazakhstan when he came to town for training and orientation. He spent the whole time backseat driving, proud that he had finally gotten his driver’s license a couple of weeks earlier. Finally I pointed out that even though I was a woman, I’d had my license for 12 years, since I was 16 and first legally able to drive, and had never had a ticket.
This is how I was with bowling. I was awful. Lots of gutter balls. Once I scored a 10. One strike and the rest gutter balls. Consequently, I avoided bowling. But once I went with my siblings just for a lark, and my brother told me I was rolling my wrist over. Why had no one told me that before??? It was so easy to correct, and I got a lot better…although I was never great. Haven’t bowled in ages, but I will always remember how much I hated it when I sucked at at. Kinda the opposite of monstro. Of course, it’s kinda difficult to bowl in private unless you have your own private lane.