Joie de hoohah. 
“We. Are. Farmers. Bum ba bum ba bum…”
The classic example has two lines, either of which is mediocre, but together they’re infuriating. Given that the two lines are spoken by the same character without any dialogue in between, maybe it counts as one line?
“Give it to Mikey, he’ll eat anything. . . . HE LIKES IT!!!”
They tried to fix it by changing it:
“Let’s get Mikey! He won’t eat it, he hates everything…HE LIKES IT!!!”
Neither version makes any goddamned sense at all.
Edit: okay, looking into this, apparently I’m misremembering the version where they say “he’ll eat anything.” I can’t find any record of that one. Still the “Let’s get Mikey! He won’t eat it, he hates everything” is nonsensical. Why give the food to someone who won’t like it?
“1-800-MATTRES – Leave off the last ‘S’ for savings!”
Don’t squeeze the Charmin!
This result of a bad edit job: “We changed it with … by adding 33% more pepperoni.”
Yeah, I’m old enough to remember the commercial when it was first run, and it was always “give it to Mikey- he won’t eat it, he hates everything!” And while it might not make real-world sense to give an unfamiliar cereal to a kid who doesn’t like anything, from a commercial perspective it makes perfect sense. Mikey, who never likes anything, actually LIKES it?!? Pass that cereal over here, mom!
I came in to mention the many misogynistic ads of the past. That one is pretty mild by comparison. Plenty of great candidates for terrible ad lines here…
- Have some fun. Beat your wife tonight. (bowling ad)
- So, the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks! (vitamin ad)
- Presenting the losers. (with a picture of almost 2 dozen slim, attractive women. A weight loss ad? That’s not so bad…wait- Eastern Airlines? Ohhhh…the ad is basically saying ‘our stewardesses are SO HOT, these are the women who didn’t make the cut.’ Nice
) - show her it’s a man’s world (ad for men’s ties. A man wearing a dress shirt and tie in bed for some reason is being served breakfast in bed by a woman on her knees-- apparently the ties have some sort of mesmerizing slave powers)
There is nothing worst about that! The whole commercial was brilliant.
That made me pause, too. I LOVE that commercial.
“There’s no question Grape Nuts is right for you. The question is: Are you right for Grape Nuts?”
Right, so we ordinary proles might not even be worthy of your breakfast gravel cereal…
Welcome to our timeline! The people are nice, weather’s fine, but might be a little crazier than “normal for you”.
Take it slow, there might be Mandala Glitches that’ll disorient you. Oh, don’t make the mistake some newbies have made, and make large purchases before you get used to things here (Crypto and NFTs are a sure bet back home, here not so much. Oh, and don’t buy a gas car thinking you’ve found a valuable rarity, they’re everywhere here).
What commercial is this from? Can anybody link to it?
This was for whether the woman in question was a real blonde - for Clairol. It was considered one of the most effective and famous advertising line of all time, along with “The closer he gets, the better you look!” Both lines were written by the same ad-woman in the mid-1960’s. The lines were annoying, to be sure, but they were hugely effective. Definitely outdated today!
The ad for some kind of bottled water - “If you’re thirsty, it’s already too late!”
I always considered the “my wife, I think I’ll keep her” to be “mock serious”. To me the guy didn’t mean it like, hey I’ll dump her over trivialities. But a lot of people were offended by it, so maybe I was wrong.
Does anyone have a link?
Oh, I completely agree. But that’s almost worse: “Haha, honey. We’re in a big group of well-dressed acquaintences, and I’m going to use my inherent role as your superior to make a joke. And don’t you dare react with any anger, just laugh and take it.”