Every kiss begins with Kay. Because no man can get affectionate with his female companion without an offering of jewelry.
If I don’t already know you, you shouldn’t be close enough to be able to smell my hair anyway!
Yeah, I remember this one, but these days, we seem to have a healthier sense of boundaries.
My usual reaction to that was “I don’t. I hate you because you’re an arrogant bitch.”
The official UK entry is…
Britain was flooded by horrible faux-lagers in the 1970s (awful UK versions of continental originals), all pushed by crassly inane advertising. Example:
Heineken Refreshes The Parts Other Beers Cannot Reach
Uhh?
Oddly, however, this line (well, a variant) appears in an ad still fondly remembered (no, really) which made a star out of Lorraine Chase. Enjoy:
j
I think it must come from well before that, because Ginger Rogers has a joke that is a takeoff on that in (I think) 42nd Street from 1932. The line is a comment about another dancer’s skinny legs: “Not a calf in a carload.”
I’m not clear what makes this an awful line, but then I’m not a woman so perhaps the nuance is lost on me. At the time, I presumed that this is at least one description of what women wanted a bra to do.
A few years ago the nearby 7-11 (on the fringes of a majority/minority neighborhood) had a placard above the gas pumps which showed three attractive African-American women. Which wasn’t offensive in and of itself, but then there was the caption:
“Fresh brownies are here! Enjoy one today!”
Somewhat surprised there wasn’t an “accident.”
Again, the commercial always was “give it to Mikey. He won’t eat it. He hates everything”. Then, when Mikey started enthusiastically eating the cereal, they said with surprise “he likes it! Hey Mikey!”
Come on!
In itself, not the worst ad copy, unless if it’s being naggingly hounded at you by a creepy rep for Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes.
I am in awe of how bad the current Haagen-Dazs tagline is:
“That’s Dazs”
uh… yep… sure is??! I can’t believe someone got paid to come up with that.
I agree the sentiment is offensive and condescending. But at least there is a pun included: [the word] “kiss” does indeed begin with [the letter] “K”. 
As seen in the clip in post #42, the line was the reply to, “Does she, or doesn’t she?” The ad was notable for the gender gap in what people thought “does” was referring to: women thought it meant “does she color her hair”; men (in the pre-sexual revolution era) had other ideas.
A later ad that seemed designed to create a similar gender gap was Leggs pantyhose using the ZZ Top song. It showed images of athletic, leggy women pushing grocery carts while kicking doors open etc. The lyrics “she’s got legs, knows how to use 'em”, were fitting, but not what the songwriters had in mind.
I heard UPS used to use the slogan “A blur of brown efficiency”, which also describes diarrhea but can find no online record of the phrase. Does anyone remember this?
I have to agree. I was the age of the kids in the commercial when it was new, and … it made no sense!
Basic logic:
This new cereal is sposta be good for you
But I’m afraid to try it. Probably tastes like shredded dog bedding.
Let’s get Mikey to try it!
So…when Mikey doesn’t like it (because he hates everything), what does that prove? What does that do for the kids? (Plus, it could be the best cereal since Chocolate frosted sugar bombs, and they’ll never know!)
Mom: why aren’t you eating the new cereal?
Kid: Mikey won’t eat it.
Mom:…and, so what? He hates everything! You know that! Eat the damn cereal. Christ, where’s my Valium?
JAQ: Life cereal eater continuously since 1972
eta: The worst line in commercials is “It’s a Borgaschmord”. [Drops mic]
Madge the manicurist, telling her client “You’re soaking in it” (the “it” would be Palmolive dishwashing liquid).
I don’t know if this was effective in selling Palmolive; I do know it was widely mocked in the 80s.
What’s interesting to me was finding a UK version with a different Madge. (Note that in the UK, they don’t rinse dishes, just put the soapy ones in the drying rack.)
Well, the Madge campaign ran for decades in the U.S. (1966 until 1992), according to the Wikipedia entry for Jan Miner (the actress who played the character in the U.S.). It was widely recognized (and, yes, often parodied), and I’m guessing that it was effective, if Palmolive stuck with it for that long.
Forgive me Dopers but I can’t resist offering this fake commercial from The Groove Tube (1974). Possibly NSFW.
You know that’s not Lorraine Chase, don’t you? It’s Sylvestera La Touzel.
Hmm. I googled Sylvestera La Touzel and I gotta admit that’s an uncanny match.
But if you google lorraine chase heineken advert it takes you straight to that advert - several times over. Now I’m confused.
j
Oof. That’s a winner. You’ve seen the parody of that, yes?
Hey, someone got paid (probably) for the Liberty Mutual jingle.