Hmm. Just about anything by The Police.
Even better, though, Last Dance with Mary Jane by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
And though I don’t listen to them, I suppose anything by the Insane Clown Posse is not good for a wedding (or any other occasion).
MacArthur Park. Worst. Song. Ever.
Iwas actually at a wedding reception where the first song was “When A Man Loves A Woman.” I started laughing so hard I had to go outside. The pastor was out there and asked me what was up. He’s a friend, so I told him. He cracked up too!
Hey, how about “Torn Between Two Lovers”?! 
Ooh! Ooh! Forgot! Paul Anka.
“Having My Baby”!!! :eek:
*I think this Nick Lowe song would be nice
I knew the bride *
Well take a look at the bridegroom, smilin’ pleased as pie,
Shakin’ hands all around with a glassy look in his eye.
He’s got a real good job and his shirt and tie is nice,
But I remember a time when she never would have looked at him twice!
I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll!
I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll!
How about some real oldies, like:
Hey, Little Girl: Steve Lawrence
*Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon, he’ll be there at the door.
Don’t think because there’s a ring on your finger,
You needn’t try any more. *
or older:
Standing On The Corner
Standing 0n the corner, watchin’ all the girls go by.
still older:
Silver Threads Among The Gold
*Darling, I am growing older,
Silver threads among the gold. *
a lot older:
There’ll Be A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight.
reeeeally old:
Death And Transfiguration
Am I the first person to suggest something religious?
At Easter, my church choir sung an absolutely beautiful piece which some people in the choir have had sung at their weddings. Beautiful as it is, and well as they did it, if I am ever fortunate enough to marry, there’s no way I will have it sung at mine for the sake of the friends of the bride and, with any luck, the groom. You see, my friends and I are very fond of double entendres, and have been known to pull off quadruples with full twists. If this were performed at any point during the wedding, at least half my friends would be trying not to burst out laughing and the second any two of them made eye contact, we’d be doomed and half the congregation would burst into laughter. The song? The title’s contained in the first line, and that should explain it to you:
Rise Up, My Love and come!
It’s beautiful. It’s even romantic. Given the sense of humour my friends and I have, it’s also a disaster waiting to happen. :eek:
CJ
“Prayer to God” by Shellac comes to mind. It’s Albini cvalling on God to strike down his wife and the guy she cheated on him with in a manner of amusing ways:
chorus: “Kill her, fucking kill her, I don’t care if it hurts
yes, I do, I want it to, just kill her but first”
etc, to a superharsh minimal guitar.
As to what someone else said above, i’d play ‘Imperial March’ from The Empire strikes back’ as a brides processional. That would be…sweet.
Or “Milk It” by Nirvana. heh.
My reception had Tainted Love, it was great. A bunch of us even sang along. No one took it seriously of course. Now for seriously bad wedding music:
Love is a Fist, Squeeze Me Macaroni, Girls of Porn, or My Ass is on Fire, by Mr Bungle. Well, anything by Mr Bungle would be bad, but those would be the worst.
Night Moves, Bob Seger
Me and Mrs. Jones, Billy Paul
One, Metallica
Smooth Operator, Sade
Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong, Spin Doctors
After some reading, it turns out that Possum Kingdom is about drowning a woman, not freezing her.
Make up your mind
Decide to walk with me
Around the lake tonight
Around the lake tonight
By my side
By my side
I’m not gonna lie
I’ll not be a gentleman
Behind the boathouse
I’ll show you my dark secret
I’ve always loved the idea of a bride coming down the aisle to “O Fortuna” from “Carmina Burana.” Or “Flight of the Valkyrie” (Apocalypse Now theme) by Wagner, or “Also Sprach Zarathustra” (the 2001 theme) by the other Wagner. Or the “Dies Irae” from Verdi’s Requiem (Dies irae means dreaded days, btw, for anyone who’s not up on their Latin).
For a really jolly note at the reception, how about Samual Barber’s “Adagio for Strings”, or its choral version, “Agnus Dei?”
[nitpick]“Also sprach Zarathustra” is by Richard Strauss, and “dies irae” means “days of wrath” not “dreaded days”[/nitpick]
As an additional suggestion, how about 4’33" from John Cage?
…how about "Good Enough For Now"?
I was in a wedding where this was played as the mothers of the bride and groom were escorted in. :eek: Ya shoulda heard the snickers in the congregation.
Personally I think Loretta Lynn said it all as far as wedding songs are concerned:
“Don’t Come Home A’ Drinkin’ With Lovin’ On Your Mind.”
I do that EVERY time! Why? Richard Wagner, Richard Strauss, is all I can figure. Idiot!
You mention Great Big Sea, and don’t add Scolding Wife to the list? For shame.
And if the devil would take her
I’d thank him for his pain
I swear to God I’ll hang myself
'fore I get married again
A friend of mine (the groom) went down the aisle to The Imperial March.
I’m thinking Last Caress/Green Hell, The Ballad of Chasey Lane (sp?) and Die, Die My Darling might be pretty bad choices.
[taps mic]
Thanks for coming. The answer is “The Too Fat Polka.”
[walks away]
TruePisces and I always sing that whenever we get together, simply because it’s a fun song. I wanted it played at my wedding reception, but it didn’t because of a DJ mixup.
It was played at TP’s wedding reception, though. TP and I had sooo much fun singing that song in the middle of the dance floor. I think there is even footage of it on her wedding video.
My very attractive former sister-in-law’s husband had this song played at their reception. She’s got a great sense of humor and, as stated already, is very attractive, so it wound up being funny.