I’m going to nominate the mascot (if you can call it that) used at my high school: The Atoms. Yes, an atom. Technicaly the lithium atom since the official logo used had three electrons, but I’m sure that was picked for aesthetic reasons. (And hey, it could have been an ion. Anyway.)
Before I was at the school, some shmuck would actually get in an Atom suit. He should have been ashamed of himself, but I doubt he was.
Then again, our mascot at Virginia Tech is the Hokie, which is pretty bad. Even though we use a bird as a mascot, it was gotten from some nonsense cheer some guy came up with in the early 1900s.
There’s the Washburn University of Topeka Ichabods. Named for Ichabod Washburn. He donated a big chunk to the struggling school in the 1870’s and so they changed their named from Loncoln College to Washburn University. And when team sports became a big thing the teams got his FIRST name. Ugh. And I am an alumnus of that school. At least the women’s temas are called the Lady Blues.
Evidently you’ve never had the main street of your home town barricaded by Indians objecting to a recall of a bond issue because they wanted to tear down your old elementary school and build a casino.
The Canadian Wildlife Federation publishes a children’s conservation magazine called Wild. The CWF has a trademark on this name. The NHL is demanding that the CWF give up rights to the name. The magazine has existed for 5 years, and the name has been trademarked by the CWF since 1999. The NHL cannot use “Wild” in its promotional junk as long as the CWF holds trademark. They can use “Minnesota Wild.” The NHL is trying to protect its name, I admit, but, lest you forget, the Minnesota Wild is a dumb name.
I really hope tax dollars didn’t pay for “Wild Arena” or whatever they’re going to call it.
This is written as I understand it.
This would also explain why so many new team names are dumb, dumb, dumb. The powers that be are looking for names they can exclusively trademark. Merchandising is where the big bucks are.
The City of Saint Paul and the State of Minnesota have each ponied up $65 million for the XCel Energy Center, the new arena in which the Minnesota Wild will play hockey.
The Chicago entry in the Federal League (a major league in 1914 and 1915) was called the Chicago Whales. Just the sort of image you want to use to portray graceful athletes.
Part of the Whales are still with us today. The stadium they played in (and were the first tennants of) was Wrigley Field.
The Brooklyn team early in the century (probably about the same time frame as the Federal League) was called the Brooklyn Bridegrooms because many of their members were married.
The National League Cincinnati team changed their name from Reds in the '50s to disassociate themselves from the Red scare that was sweeping the nation. They changed their name to the Redlegs (?). They switched back several years later.
Lastly, the Boston team in the National League decided to rename their team. So the Braves became the Bees in 1935 (why would you want to name your team after an insect that’s easy to kill and dies once it stings you??). They went back to being the Braves a few years later.
Someone earlier mentioned the Santa Clara Banana Slugs, but do tongue-in-cheek names that stick because they’re so tongue-in-cheek really count as bad? For that reason alone, it rates in my book as one of the coolest names.
In a similar vein, back in the early 70’s when Stanford’s mascot was the Indian, the university administration agreed to let a student election choose a more politically-correct name. But when the winning entry was the Thunder Chickens, the administration recanted and unilaterally chose Cardinal, as in the color.
Semi-rhetorical questions for the gallery: If Chiefs is so incorrect, why don’t Scandinavians rise up in horror over the Vikings? And why is it that PC-types tend to see “Chiefs” as abusive or oppressive, yet they see “Vikings” as glorifying the white power structure?
I’m sure everybody has heard about this, but it bears mentioning twice
Well, it may not be the stupidest name by per se, but up here in Canada we had two CFL teams that went by the moniker of the Roughriders. Now bear in mind we only have about 8 teams at any one time, so it’s not as if we are pressed for ideas. I really can’t understand why this was. Its not as if it is an extremely good name. Maybe a fellow doper can explain it.
First, we are the Santa CRUZ Banana Slugs. Santa Cruz is about 30 miles southwest of Santa Clara. Lots of people make this exact mistake and it is kind of odd. Second, there is a story (albeit a silly one) behind our mascot.
UCSC was founded in 1965 as an “experimental” university. Please use your imagination as to what it was/is like. Anyway, there were no sports at the school until 1984, when the university joined the NCAA Div. 3 and an official mascot was needed. Previously, Banana Slugs had been fondly adopted as a nickname for intramural sports (banana slugs, bright yellow sluggies, frolic in the redwood trees of the campus), but the administration didn’t even consider it - they chose the mascot Sea Lions. The Santa Cruz Sea Lions. Actually has a nice ring. Anyway, the students thought the Sea Lions were stupid, and that the Banana Slugs would be much cooler. So they protested and demonstrated until the admin allowed a vote. Slugs won in a landslide. We have been voted the nation’s best mascot in numerous polls because we are unique, we are funny, and we don’t take ourselves seriously. So we don’t strike fear in the heart of our opponents. Who cares? We don’t even have a football team! No one knows there is a basketball team! We excel in ultimate frisbee!
Additionally, the UC Irvine mascot is the Anteater. Cool for the same reason the Banana Slug is.
Now on to an actual stupid mascot:
The Stanford Cardinal. This is bad for two reasons. First, it’s singular. Secondly, it’s not a bird or a religious official, it’s a color. That’s right, Stanford’s mascot is a singular shade of dark red. Whoohoo! They used to be the Stanford Indian, but changed it for matters of decency. However, they couldn’t come up with anything better than the stupid Cardinal?
All of these team names are worthy of mention, but for the absolute worst name in sports I have to tip my hat to the NASCAR driver whose name is (and I am not making this up): Dick Trickle. I think that I might have to shoot my parents if they named me that.
The worst team names are those that are collective rather than plural, as has been stated already.
I also find it vaguely patronizing that so many female college sports teams are referred to as the the “Lady [name of guys team mascot]s”, but I don’t have any suggestions as to what would be preferable. (My alma mater, Washington College, had the Sho’men & the Sho’women, but this is not a workable solution for most team names…)
I have to make an exception for the Lady Vols of Tennessee. Maybe it’s because they have Pat Summitt for a coach, but who’s going to laugh at that name?
No one mentioned the Washington Wizards??? Oh, because the “Bullets” is such a violent team name, let’s pick something completely asinine instead. <slaps forehead>
Arena Football League sports the Iowa Barnstormers.
Chris- Don’t forget the MLS (soccer) expansion teams a few years ago, the Chicago Fire and the Miami Fusion. Hey scientists, isn’t Fission actually more badass than Fusion?
As long as Illinois high schools have been mentioned twice already, how about the Zion-Benton Zee-Bees? Or the Rock Island Rocks? My personal favorite in IL: The Polo Marcos.