Okay, okay! I just never HEARD of an oral enema, that’s all.
Strange. Oh well.
As a youngster, I had to get an X-ray (or some medical procedure) for some reason or another (you’ll soon see why I’ve blocked most of this out). They needed some type of dye in my stomach apparently. Could I drink said fluid? No, of course not! It has to pumped in through a tube in your nose, so it runs down through the roof of you mouth and slides down the back of your throat. A thick, warm, oily liquid that tasted and smelled like a combination of peanut oil and lemon pledge (I think the lemon was for flavor).
My stomach is going into evacuation mode just remembering it.
Still don’t know if I’d rather have KittyButtSludge[sup]tm[/sup] or GardenSlug Black Ale[sup]tm[/sup]
though!
…at band camp…
A rite of passage was for the freshmen to guzzle down a Rootbeer Slick.
This vile concoction is made with a half cup (that would be a 1/2 of a medium soft drink cup) of Rootbeer mixed with some fresh hot Original Tommy’s[sup]TM[/sup] chili.
[sub]Slightly carbonated room temperature oily chili with rootbeer flavoring is not a good thing by the way.[/sub]
Not even on a dare, actually. I just wanted to know what it tasted like. Well, it tasted really bad. Ashes in your mouth. Lingered, too. You know the taste if you’ve ever had the misfortune of tasting ashes. It was pretty nasty. The guy who drank from a pepsi can that had cigarette ashes in it probably understands.
-Ben
2 words. Robatussin(sp?).
dead0man
Someone mentioned liquid yellow asthma medicine. Sounds like the same stuff I took when I was a kid. That stuff was absolutely vile. Whatever evil drug company manufactured it, they didn’t even try to make it palatable. And you couldn’t get the taste out of your mouth no matter what you ate/drank afterwards – it ruined the taste of everything that followed as well.
I bought a small bottle of strawberry flavored milk at a convenience store once which was so sour that it had turned chunky. Whatever unholy chemical reactions that had taken place in the souring also turned the strawberry flavoring into something that felt like acid on my tongue (no, not LSD, I mean, like, fuming hydrochloric acid). I brought it back to the store where they gave me a refund (or maybe it was an exchange; I don’t remember) and told me to dump it in their sink. It was like pouring out thick oatmeal. Blech!
Bong water is pretty nasty. I don’t know if anybody else here plays paintball, but they taste rather putrid. Racing alcohol is deadly.
But the worst taste of all… Budweiser.
The most vile thing I ever put in my mouth was peyote “buttons”. Gawd, was that nasty! Gooey balls of evil!
The things a stupid teenager will do to get high!
Which I didn’t, BTW. A friend brought back like 12 of them, and we split them up among 6 of us. You supposedly have to eat like 14 of them to get the effect. I don’t know how anybody could choke down that many.
Still, I was pretty proud of myself for being able to eat my 2. I figure after that, I could eat anything, if my life depended on it!
Raw Sea Urchin in a handroll.
Did I mention it was spoiled?
VERY spoiled?
It wasn’t quite so much the taste as the texture.
But don’t get me wrong, it tasted terrible. Its just that I’ve eaten some pretty terrible things, raw salmon eyes for one, and what always strikes me first is the texture. The texture is what makes it hard to keep down in the short run, ya know between the time when you wonder exactly what the hell you just put in your mouth and that time when it sits in your stomach and you pause. And take notice reflecting on the experience of what you just endured, and realize that its STILL INSIDE YOU, GROWING, GAINING STRENGTH. GOOD GOD NO.
To tell the truth, it still kinda makes my tummy feel funny after 3 years.
What I hate this the period after you manage to swallow it and right at the start of fulling processing the flavor of what you ate.
I was going to say dextromethorphan hydrobromide in powdered form. Dextromethorphan is what makes Robitussin so much fun (in every sense of the word). The powdered form is much more concentrated than the cough syrup, so the unspeakably nasty taste is that much stronger, to where a microscopic speck will make you retch. But the cough syrup gets some points for that hideous artificial cherry flavor. I know certain people who gag at the thought of cherries.
Was eating pancakes with real maple syrup, which I love, and took a sip of Diet Pepsi, which I also love. Mr. Rilch did the same thing at almost the exact same time.
We both agreed that that must be what poison would taste like.
(Diet Coke fans, save it.)
Bubble Tea
This is insanely popular around here, clearly being included on a rider on somebody’s pact with the devil. Little globules of tapioca-type stuff sitting in the bottom of a cup of tepid thick tea. I took one sip 5 years ago, and the taste is still in my mouth. I swear this drink is a liquidated form of hell.
A couple of people mentioned “yellow liquid asthma medication”. That has got to be liquid Prednisone. It is the vilest foules nastiest stuff on planet earth. We try everything we can do to make it taste good to kids, but NOTHING works. You can add chocolate syrup to it, but it still does not disguise the taste. I feel sorry for anyone that has to take it. At least the pills you can put in the back of your throat and down quickly. The liquid stuff coats your tongue and mouth.
Other than that, my votes are for sushi (yes i’ve tried it several times. Bleh bleh bleh ptooey!), NyQuil, and semen (makes me gag, can’t hold it in my mouth for long. I will NOT swallow. NOT NOT NOT. Barfing after a BJ is just not sexy, ya know?)
Lorie
Drain-O…that stuff you use to clean drains with.
When I was younger, I used to drink water directly from the tap to save time getting a cup…the thing that stopped me was drinking from the tap just after it’d been cleaned with Drain-O…didn’t taste so bad as hurting like a bad-ass mofo…I swear, the pain was unbearable.
I forgot about bong water. Yeah, that was pretty nasty.
It reminds me of what probably was my worst though… San Pedro. A friend came back from Equador with some wild tales of what this stuff could do. We went over to our local casa de cactii and bought a couple of hundred dollars worth of plants for the 4 of us and processed the stuff for about 6 hours. Peeled the skin, pineappled the core and boiled down the meat. What we eneded up with was cactus meat sludge. We drank this vile crap down, vomited profusely and waited for the buzz. We’re still waiting.
As a child, I learned that while children’s vitamins are chewable, adult vitamins (with iron) are not! It’s an awfully intense rusty flavor. If you’ve ever tried iron water, multiply that many times over. ICK.
For real food, it would have to be the meat loaf I fixed in my bachelor days. I’d popped it in the oven, and watched TV awhile, then I heard weird noises coming from the kitchen. I opened the oven door to find my dinner on fire. Grabbing a dish towel, I beat the flames out, then cleaned up the spilled grease. Since I didn’t have any other food in the apartment, it went back in to finish cooking. Had a very unusual taste - char combined with old wet dish towel.
Once, At a restaurant in the north of Portugal, I ordered tripe. That’s stuffed cow’s intestines. (I knew what it was - I was adventurous back then.)
Anyway, it tasted like sht. LITERALLY, like sht. Like intestines stuffed with meat mixed with sh*t.
I don’t know if the intestines weren’t washed properly or that was the way tripe was supposed to taste. And in the 15 years since I’ve never felt like ordering a second helping to see which it was.
Without a doubt, Glow-fuel.
For those unfamiliar with the stuff, it is what is run in model airplane engines.
It is made of Nitromethane, Ethynol, and Castor Oil.
It makes gasoline taste like Cool-aid in comparison.
Water . . .
that had been sitting out on the kitchen counter all day, having absorbed seven hours of cigarette smoke, dust, pollen and God knows what all.
I thought I had taken a swig of vinegar by mistake!