Fleet enema. I had to have a medical test that required me to take it. The order was to take two bottles. I choked down one. I am actually having trouble suppressing the gag typing this.
No, you silly goose! My own, of course! That’s why I always hated vomiting, as a child, because it leaves that icky taste in your mouth, it burns your throat and nostrils.
UGH!
I was gonna say earwax, but PunditLisa beat me to it. Failing that then, how about TCP antiseptic? They recently improved the flavour but it’s still pretty grim. The old stuff used to stink out the glass or cup you’d drank it out of for weeks – even after you’d washed it out.
The thing I’ve eaten that I expected to be bad but wasn’t (to me anyway) is that candied and chillied pineapple you get in places like Thailand. Surprisingly moreish.
Uh, dude? You’re not supposed to DRINK it…
I just remembered-the time the cap fell off one of my teeth-one of the ones that needs to be root canaled, when I get the goddamn money. Ugh…ooooh…did that taste HIDEOUS!!!
I was on the Isle of Skye, having a traditional Scottish breakfast. One of my travelling buddies had a bite of his. “How was it?” I ask. “Not bad,” he said.
He lied. Oh, how he lied.
I cut off a small piece and put it in my mouth. The instant it touched my tongue, I knew that it was Wrong. This was not something that was meant to be put inside my mouth. It tasted exactly like one should expect dead, coagulated sheep-blood to taste, except more vile. It was dead for a reason, and did not belong in my body.
Cue much spitting, heaving and slapping.
Guin - I do mean the stuff you drink, not the other stuff. The stuff I took was supposed to be lemon-ginger, but I tell you, not flavor like anything anyone made on purpose!!
Well how about a glass of cold coffee which looked like Coca Cola… I didn’t like coffee before. I sure don’t like it now.
Um, wouldn’t that make it a laxative? I’ve never even HEARD of anyone drinking an enema, or an enema you’re supposed to drink!
I happened to be bleaching my girly-moustache and for some stupid reason decided I was going to eat a banana. Hair-bleach-banana is not going to be a new smoothie flavor anytime soon.
It’s called an enema, and yes, it IS meant to be drunk. It will most certainly clean you out. I still maintain, however, that it’s not THE nastiest stuff I’ve ever had. I’ve already mentioned my candidates.
That’s exactly what I was thinking of when I opened this thread. I could never really describe the taste, but thinking of it years later still makes me shudder.
In all modesty, I do believe I’ve tasted something FAR WORSE than anything likely to be posted. Anyone who reads this tale of woe better have something to spew into handy cause this is beyond disgusting.
As a kid every summer I would spend a few weeks at my grandparents’ farm. One year, an adorable stray kitten started hanging around the house. She must have been hit by a car at one point, because she had a bad limp and, perhaps due to internal hemorrhaging, a brownish substance having the consistency of snot would periodically come out her butt! Yeech! Whatever the stuff was it would get all smeared in the cat’s hindquarter fur and disgust us all to the point where we felt guilty because no one even wanted to get near much less pet her when this happened. My grandmother said that was the only cat she’d seen that “went on the rag.”
Anyway, one morning I had a bowl of oatmeal - maple and brown sugar, my favorite - and went outside for a walk around my grandparents’ property. I’d made it a good distance when the kitty appeared and started rubbing up against my leg and meowing. Well, I just couldn’t help myself. I picked the little fluff ball up and started rubbing underneath her chin. After a few minutes of happy purring, she hissed and took a swing at me with her paw. She jumped from my hands and scampered off, so somewhat puzzled I continued on my walk.
It was then I noticed some of my breakfast oatmeal was on my shirt. It was too far to walk back to the house for a paper towel so, being a rather uncouth boy of thirteen, I just pulled my shirt up and licked the oatmeal right off.
At that very second, the kitten appeared again, meowing apologetically with a sorrowful look in her eyes. Being a sucker for that sort of thing, I picked her up again and scratched behind her ears. Once again she purred sweetly and I said to myself “Awww, this has to be the cutest kitty ever.”
It was at that point that I noticed, much to my horror, the several more drops of “oatmeal” had appeared on my shirt! OH SHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTT! I tossed the cat to the ground and stumbled around, dazed with the terrible realization that it wasn’t oatmeal I’d licked off my shirt but GOO FROM THE CAT’S ASS!!!
This is the first time I’ve ever told anyone what happened on that fateful day because it was such an incredibly stupid, not to mention disgusting, thing to have done.
But ya know, strangely enough it really didn’t taste that bad. Maybe a little tangy, but I thought it might be my shirt I was tasting. I don’t think you’ll ever see Kitty Butt Sludge Flavor put out by the Quakers Oats people, however.
This happened to my wife, but it HAD to taste nasty. I was doing my spring yard work one year, which cannot be done properly without the aid of a nice, cold beer. I had left maybe half of a can in the shed where I keep my yard tools. A few months later when I was doing fall clean-up, I found it, and took the old beer into the kitchen. Being the lazy bastard I am, I set it on the counter for the wife to rinse out and throw away. She came in a while later, saw a beer sitting on the counter, picked it up, realized there was beer in there, and being the alcoholic she is, took a big ol’ gulp. It was black, with a dead slug in it, she said, whilst puking into the sink.
I’m about a foot high in my chair after all these stories. The aforementioned putridity has caused me to sink an inch or two lower with each passing tale to the point where I’m ready to play leapfrog with Webster.
My worst taste recalled is from the funk oozing from my wisdom tooth cavities for a day or two when they were pulled.
Blesch!!! Made you want to slap your granny.
How can anyone knock Black Pudding?? as part of a fry, it is the best Hangover cure on earth!!!
Maybe this wasn’t the worst thing I ever tasted, but by far the most bizarre.
I was in a grocery store about a year ago and they had fresh quinces for sale. Now I adore fruit and had never, ever tasted a quince. They were hard to the touch, green like a pear and a nice sweet smell. These will be great, I thought to myself.
The next day I washed and chilled a quince to eat after lunch. One bite in – and this was not the juicy, sweet fruit I thought it was. The taste was somewhere between bitter and no taste at all, but the worst part about it was the fruit sucked out every bit of moisture from my mouth in a split second. I stood there with this piece of vile fruit sticking to my tongue, unable to get it out by spitting and choking the whole while because there was no saliva in my mouth.
Come to find out that people use quinces to mix with berries and other fruits for jams, pies, etc.
It IS called an enema. My husband just had to take for a colonoscopy and he, too, couldn’t finish it. It was the lemon ginger one, as well.
I took a big swig out of a carton of milk, only to find my mouth filled with a chunky, sour goo.
Perm solution. Nothing is more foul. Thank god I was wearing glasses when it squirted out, or I would have been in extreme pain as well.
moodtobestewed I have read many funny stories on this board but I think your Kitty Butt Sludge story wins Grand Prize!
I can say that I know exactly what Lynn is talking about. I had to drink that damn Glucoade crap once. Ergghhh. I went to the doctor for a blood glucose test (or something like that) because I get nauseated when I eat too many sweets (one piece of cake makes me want to hurl). I figured that maybe it had something to do with the way my body processes sugars (also there is a history of diabetes in my family). So what do they do but make me drink a whole body of the sweetest stuff on the planet! And it is not just the sweetness of it but the texture of it. It is almost the consistency of chilled maple syrup.
I had a St. John’s wort capsule burp incident once, and the taste took a few days to go away, but the nastiest was a dutch candy called salted licorice. It was awful, but I figured that after a few moments it would get better. It didn’t. Salty licorice is bad. Very Very Bad! Somewhat less bad was a chinese candy made of ginger, lemon, and some black evil stuff. I like lemon and ginger, but this stuff was foul.