Except for Chinese food. God, the Chinese food in Paris is disgusting
…and earn street cred for ‘performance art’. 
(but have someone you trust nearby to collect the money out of the hat)
This is exactly how I feel. I have been working in downtown Manhattan for about three months, and when I moved out here I was extremely skeptical. I have had issues with agoraphobia in the past and have even gotten overwhelmed in cities like Chicago. I do not like crowds, or parties, or generally talking to more than 3 people at once. I am not a mover and a shaker. Saturdays are best spent on the couch with a good book.
But the first day I stepped off that train at World Trade Center station, I fell in love. There are so many people that nothing matters. Nobody cares what I do. In small towns I always felt weird, afraid people might find me odd. In New York City I have the reassurance that no matter what I say, it will never make me look as odd as the guy standing in the subway plunking a banjo screaming for everyone to have a Merry Christmas. Absolutely nothing surprises anyone here. Nobody reacts to anything. I don’t have to worry if I’m pretty, because there are a thousand girls prettier than me and a thousand girls uglier. I love it! It is a truly liberating feeling. In the city I am completely unafraid to be myself.
I have only begun to check out the art scene-- top-notch theatre, music, and museums. That in itself is wonderful and makes me too excited to speak. But another thing is that everyone just gets thrown together. On the subway four different conversations, each in a different language, and nobody paying attention to anyone else. Then there’s all the tourists who wander around in a daze, and sometimes I literally feel the excitement through them, like I’m seeing everything for the first time all over again.
The one thing that is beginning to grate on me is the long commute. It is exhausting and I’m tired of getting sardined with people on the PATH train every morning. I already don’t like the idea of going in on the weekends because I spend so much time on the trains already just getting in to work on weekdays. But if I end up being accepted to graduate school there, we will be moving closer. Problem solved.
I never heard anyone describe ‘‘the electricity’’ of New York but I felt right off the bat a unique kind of energy, I guess I would call it just that. The truth is that there are so many people they cease to be people. Instead I am surrounded by the perpetual movement of energy. It’s invigorating.
And also people are so nice here. I don’t know where New Yorkers got a reputation for rudeness because I’ve never seen it. People may get a little blustery when you’re in a hurry but if you fall down about 20 people will stop to help you up–and each person is usually of a different color, race or creed. The diversity here is unparalleled. Humanity is alive and well here.
Ah well, that’s my little love letter to New York. I know everything isn’t perfect here (especially in the subway stations–yech!) and I’m sure the newness will wear off eventually. But this is truly a special place and I’m grateful for the experience of getting to know it.
Hello all, and thanks for the many fascinating replies. Sorry, too for my lateness in responding – one thing and another, and I’ve now been up about 32 hours and just got home from work. Yech. Needless to say I’m a little loopy.
The funny thing is, reading all your responses, is that I “should” like New York. I love big cities, and on a certain level I do appreciate New York, because living here means not having to have a car, having things in walking distance, the anonymity of crowds, the number of choices in movies and theater and entertainment, etc. My favorite city in the world is London, and the excitement and electricity I felt in the all-too-brief period I lived there was exactly like the excitement so many New Yorkers describe here – that feeling like this is the LIFE, that this is where things happened, that something cool was constantly going on around you. A year or two after I worked in London, I went back to the UK and worked for a few months in Edinburgh. I had a fantastic time, great friends, loved the city, didn’t want to leave, etc. But when my visa ran out and I had to return to the States, I took an overnight bus to London to catch a plane. I woke up on the top of a double-decker bus in the early-early morning, just as we were rolling through central London. Waking up and seeing those streets in the dawn, Edinburgh flew right out of my mind. “Man,” I thought to myself, clear as day, “I should have been HERE these past six months…” That’s the kind of electricity I felt (feel) in London, and I understand that that’s just what a lot of other people feel in New York. Maybe this is all part of the problem – maybe some people can only really fall hard for one city in their lifetime, in the way that for some people their first great love is the one they measure all other loves by. I don’t think it’s all of the problem, since I’ve loved cities before and since London, but maybe it’s part of it.
I think a lot of it is just a mixmatch of characters. I think it’s fair to say that cities have characters that are more than the sum of their amenities/population densities/transportation systems/etc., and for whatever reason I don’t mesh too easily with New York’s (yet). After all, why (apart from the weather) do some people like Stockholm but dislike Rome, and some people like Rome, but dislike Stockholm? They’re both cosmopolitan cities with great histories and fine entertainment options and good restaurants. They just have different characters, and some people like one and some people like the other. I’ll keep my specific gripes with what I feel is New York’s “character” to myself for now (again, out of tact), but who knows, maybe I’ll come to terms with it, or see more I like in it.
And for the person who asked if I’m getting out – no, not as much as I’d like, which I admit is another part of the problem. I’m poor (I’d make significantly MORE money per day here if I were a substitute teacher here, even though I have a professional, very competitive job), I live in far, far northern Manhattan in a crappy, tiny bedroom, and my work doesn’t end when I leave the office – in fact, it never seems to end. So while I do try to take advantage of my free time and go out to museums and stuff, I’m sure that all of that is weighing down on my experience here.
Wow, we work in exactly the same area. Theoretically, we could work in the exact same building. Weird.
I must crash now (it’s now about 33 hours) but thanks for the responses and keep 'em coming.
Today I saw a blue handball on the subway tracks. A bit unusual as far as track litter goes. Then, I saw a largish rat come out onto the tracks. This is not at all unusual.
The rat approached the handball, sniffed it, and, began playing with it like a hamster would with a toy in a cage. Except that he was wild, and free, and a filthy rat rolling around with a filthy handball in the muck of the slime between the rails of the NYC subway.
I turned to a girl standing next to me watching this scene unfold and we just cracked up.
Quoth pbbth:
Except for the bit about people coming in throngs, I get all of that right here in a city of 30,000. I can bike anywhere I need to go in town, or take the free public transportation as far as two different ski slopes. We’ve got one of the best natural history museums in the world, we’re a day’s drive from Yellowstone, you could hike a different trail every weekend for years without repeating, there’s plenty of local theater, and yes, even in a small town like this, you do get Broadway shows. The crowd I hang with is so ethnically diverse that I’ve been to Fourth of July parties where less than half the people were American, and I’m usually the only Yankee at Thanksgiving dinner. And our winters are probably harsher than New York’s, but on the other hand, it never gets uncomfortably hot in the summer. Frankly, the only thing I miss around here that you could get in a big city is a good art museum.
Excuse me sir. Can you tell me how to get to 42nd and Eighth or should I just go ahead and fuck myself?
I think this is the essence of the situation. There are BIG city people, SMALL city people, suburban people, and country people. Some folks can flow effortlessly between all types of living; others can’t. If you’re a “city person”, you’d “get it.”
I’ve never been to New York City, but my son is a city person (in Chicago) and recently visited New York. He loved it. He likes the hustle and bustle. He likes the variety. He likes the anonymity as well as the opportunity for making connections with people. He will probably always live in a large city. Small cities will never be enough for a guy like him.
Me? I think I’m one of those people who can be happy just about anywhere. The biggest city I’ve ever actually lived in is Denver. It’s not my favorite city, but I did fine there.
With rent the way it is, it sometimes feels that way.
It happened to me! We rounded a corner and there was:
Baba the Elephant - but I could hear the muffled voice of the actor within the huge costume saying “get this crazy woman off me” as I hugged him begging my mum to take a picture. I was about 43 at the time - but in the photo I look like a six year old.
“New York lays hold of a man’s bowels. He grows young and full of glory. He feels that he can never die.”
– Thomas Wolfe
I get your point, but I don’t think you understand what I was saying. The huge throngs of people are a big part of why I am so happy here. The sheer amount of everything is part of the appeal of New York. You have a natural history musuem in Bozeman? Good for you. I have direct access to over 70 art, history, and other museums. I’m sure you have excellent theater in Montana. I have access to hundreds of plays, musicals, and other performances every single day, often two or three times a day, with some of the most talented and well known cast and crew in the world. Camping, hiking, and other outdoor activities hold absolutely no appeal for me so nature is not a big draw as far as I am concerned. I haven’t dealt with mosquitos or tents or any of that kind of thing since I moved here and that is a huge selling point on NYC for me. I know of at least 6 different languages spoken in my apartment building alone and if I want to eat Tibetan food or South African cuisine there is at least one restaurant here where I can do that.
I am glad you are happy in Montana. I have family there and it is a beautiful place. I would be miserable living there. When I stepped out of the airport and onto the sidewalk in NYC I had one of those moments you only see in movies where a chorus of angels starts singing and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was meant to live here. I knew that this had always been my home and that Texas was just a resting place for me before I came here. The character and energy of the city holds endless amounts of appeal to me. I hope you feel that way about where you live too. If the OP doesn’t feel that way I hope they are able to move someplace that makes their soul sing with joy every day.
Alright easy now. I like the City too but I don’t break into a Carly Simon songevery time I step out of Grand Central.:dubious:
I’ve been here going on three years now.
Before moving here, I grew up in a smallish suburb (<100,000 people), lived in a few west coast cities, spent a lot of time in London, Hong Kong, and Shanghai, visited almost every major American city, and toured Paris and Prague.
When I first started living here, I hated how everyone was in a hurry (you can’t even read the signs at the Deli without someone getting annoyed with you for not having ordered yet, even if you’re not in line). I hated how dirty everything was. I hated the lack of beer selection at many bars (seriously, East Coasters, there’s a whole world outside Stella, Bud, and Coors). I hated that everything was cramped, especially restaurants. I hated that purchasing anything larger than a microwave was a serious pain-in-the-ass, especially if you don’t have a doorman. I hated how noisy everything always was. And I hated how impersonal everything was.
Most of those things are just aspects of any major city (though NYC is excessively dirty, even by city standards). And I’ve gotten used to them. It took me about a year. I haven’t fallen in love with the city, but I’ve come around a bit.
There really are some things that are special about NYC. The parts that I’ve come to truly appreciate are: 24-hour bodegas, many of which have decent delis inside; especially the ones where you get to know the employees. Art, in all its forms, and often less touristy than in European cities. Outdoor film festivals in the middle of the city. Subway stops everywhere, with cheap, safe taxis as back-ups. The best crazy people. Great, cheap food from everywhere (if NYC has a weakness, it is Mexican food, but it is nothing compared the culinary blind spots of London, Paris, etc.)–also simply because of the sheer number of restaurants, you can eat out more cheaply in NYC than any other city, I’m quite sure. Diversity (I swear even the squirrels are more diverse here). And, of course, the ability to go see The Daily Show live.
I didn’t understand the whole electricity, pulse-of-the-world metaphors until I left NYC and spent time back in the 'burbs. I did feel like nothing important was happening where I was, and missed NYC. I don’t think that’s more true of NYC than Hong Kong, Shanghai, or London, but I’ve felt it.
I think you’ve got to give it time. Develop your niche. And then you’ve got to leave, temporarily, and miss it for the first time.
True enough, but in NYC you have all those cultural assets available, at all times. (OK, well maybe all the shows suck during a particular month, so you don’t go to the theatre, but still there’s more opportunities for different types of live music, performance art, museums, and all of that). Aside from the cultural institutions of a city, its culture includes also cafes, restaurants, visual behavior, and even what people wear. A big city has more variety in all these things than a small town, it goes without saying. I haven’t been to NYC but its obviously the high point of this. Others of America’s Fine Large Cities ™ also share these characteristics, but none of the others can be like NYC as far as I can see. I can say this confidently just by extrapolating from the history and demographics of the place.
That said, anyone who doesn’t like crowds, or traffic, or noise, probably won’t be happy in any large city. Also if one insists on a single family house, since this is generally prohibitively expensive in truly urban environments.
This would be a dealbreaker for me.
It’s the feeling that there’s so much amazing stuff going on… but you don’t have the time, money, or energy to do any of it.
No, you don’t. You have access to at most ten or so a day, and probably only one if you need to eat, sleep, or work. You have an excellent selection for what that one a day is, but you’re still probably not going to see more than one show each day, or even one a week. And even those big Broadway shows: They come here four times a year. How often do the mountains come to New York?
I can’t see 10 a day, true, but I have the choice of hundreds of shows every day. I have a choice of half a dozen operas as well. Just because I don’t choose to spend every waking moment in the theater or a museum doesn’t mean that I don’t have access to it. I go to the theater at least twice a month and the opera at least once a month which simply wouldn’t be an option for me in a smaller city. Beyond that I have access to major discounts to all of these things living here. I go to the Metropolitan Opera House for about $15 a show and spend about $35- $45 to see shows on Broadway. When I lived in Dallas I had a short 8 week window in which to see operas or popular musicals that toured through the city and could expect to spend at least $75 a ticket if I wanted to go. I much prefer to have more performances to choose from than less.
As far as mountains go, the Catskills and the Adirondacks are not far from here. I can be at the beach in a matter of moments if I want to stay in the city or spend an hour and a half on the train to CT to spend time at my boyfriend’s family beach house there if I’d prefer. Or if I just need to do something different Atlantic City is a $7 bus ride away. I’m not saying that Montana sucks or that you don’t have cool stuff there because you obviously do, I’m just trying to point out to the OP all the reasons that people are drawn to NYC and explain a bit of the energy so many people feel here. NYC being awesome in no way detracts from the fact that you are happy where you are. Please don’t read this as an attack on MT or TX or anywhere else because I simply mean to explain some of the wonder of the city for those who don’t understand why so many people choose to be here.
In a way that might be accurate. Every big city has some museums, theatres, “energy”, and night life. There’s even a few other American cities that have subways now. But NYC has more of everything. Sure, we’ve got a lot of good museums in L.A., but they’re not up to the standard of MOMA or the Met. The Metropolitan Opera sets the standard for opera in North America, if not the world. San Francisco has good nightlife and a striking backdrop, but I’d say Manhattan easily beats SF in nightlife, and comes close in its striking, iconic visual aspect. (SF might have a shot, were it not writhing in the iron grip of California’s 2am closing law. Being an older city, Chicago comes close to NYC in a lot of ways, but doesn’t have the diversity of L.A. or New York. In short, it’s safe to say that NYC has something of every other city in the country.
Except climate.
I’m not picking on DMark particularly, but I wanted to comment on the point of affordability. When people say that City X is too expensive for them to live in, don’t they really mean mostly “too expensive to live in and still have the house and lawn, or 1800 square-foot apartment, National Forest hunting preserve in their back yard, etc., to which they are accustomed”? In other words, it’s all a matter of taste, and I doubt if most New Yorkers can afford a house and yard in NYC, either. Everyone who lives there can’t be an investment banker, especially these days.
I’d say that the prospect of living in a small, expensive flat, even with the compensation of myriad cultural and entertainment possibilities at one’s doorstep, runs counter to the likes and feelings of the average American. I hope that may be changing. But for a significant minority, the tiny-apartment/vast cultural kaleidoscope option is an absolutely thrilling one.