what is this transgenderism??

Great Debates
21

Labels are good and bad. The trick is to remember that they’re tools, not straightjackets. The label applies to the person; the person should not bend out of shape to be the label.

I’m gay. Synonyms include homosexual, queer, and big fag. I have no reservations about using these labels on myself, nor to describe others like me (with certain sociolinguistic usage differences).

If you took everything the word “gay” conjures up, I wouldn’t be all of it. I’d be a lot of it; maybe even more than a lot of gay people. But not all. And it’s unnecessary that I bend myself out of shape to “be gay”, as if gay could be defined as something above and beyond the sum of gay people.

For example, I know that a lot of out gays and lesbians have occasional sex with people of the opposite sex and then get grief for it. Apparently, gay people are forbidden to have straight sex. To which the appropriate answer is: fuck you, I can have sex with whomever I like (and whoever likes me).

Some people say that’s why we should drop labels. No; labels can be useful - identification, concept-mapping, community-building. (What’s the alternative? “So, Ted. Do you have any primarily same-sex identified male friends?”) For that matter, language is nothing but labels.

Now labels do have meaning, and if you bend them out of shape they’ll be useless. But to paraphrase another philosopher, labels are made for Humankind, and not Humankind for labels.

For more of this philosophy in a soap-opera cartoon format about a bunch of lesbians (of assorted descriptions), see Alison Bechdel’s latest comix collection Post-Dykes to Watch Out For.

Dixiechiq: If’t please you, I believe that the usual label that a person in your situation would indeed be “transgendered”. I would advise you not to beat yourself up about the precise definition of this word. (“Surgery? Crossdressing? Passing? Aaaagh!”) It’s just a word, dear, and a useful word at that. It’s also part of an evolving terminology for people we can’t neatly peg as boy or girl. So, as I say, use it or not, but when you’re trying to find resources for people similar to yourself, I predict the word “transgendered” will be a useful keyword.

22

hi matt,

i don’t really want my identification to be ‘transgender’. i don’t need anyone to have me as their ‘transgender friend’. friend is sufficient.

i’m quite familiar with the labels that exist for folks like me. and and as you say they are just words. but it has been my experience that the words have caused me problems. if i think of myself in terms of the label[s], then i will use them to describe myself when people ask me “why do you ______?” [“cuz i’m __________.”] i don’t have to have a reason why, i don’t need to justify myself.

one thing to keep in mind, someone can be openly gay without everyone they pass on the street knowing they are gay. but i can’t be openly trans without people being able to see it. people can tell i’m different just by looking at me. i obviously have a male body [i’m over six foot tall, pretty fit, have facial hair even though i shave it, butch voice]. but i also wear nail polish 24/7/365. i have long tinted hair, clean-shaven legs, feminine jewelry, feminine clothing. i neither hide my feminity, not try to pass as genetic female. that is my choice, and i don’t cry about it. but that’s the whole point, my appearance is my choice, i don’t need a reason.

but when someone asks, “why do you wear nail polish?” my answer is usually, “cuz i like to.” by the time someone asks such a question, they have accepted me as a person, and i’ve found that i don’t like to then become a label. for example, my uncle had frequenlty commented upon my “style”. but otherwise our relationship continued as it had previously. at one point when i felt i needed to explain my behavior, i used the label transgendered. he thought i was brave to come out and say that. i thought everything was cool. but then next time i saw him i wore clothing et al that i had worn in his presence before labelling myself, and the next thing i know, i was banished from his life. he had been slightly embarassed to be be seen with the odd looking person i’d been, but once he got a label from me, he was unable to accept having said label in his life. at that point, he insisted i act and look straight while in his presence. i’m unwilling to act or look straight for anyone.

when i started this topic, i wanted it to be about gender variance, not about me. so far it has all been about me, and i fear all people here will remember about me is the label.

23

Give us time dear, we’re better than you think. :slight_smile:

Here’s one thing: I’m unfamilliar w.r.t how anti-discrimintation laws in the US can apply to a gender-varied person, or if you have any protection at all. Do you know anything about this? I.e., can am employer fire you for gender variance?

This may sound silly, but could you face disciplinary or criminal action, for example, for using the women’s room instead of the men’s? Or trying to compete in a women’s event of a corporate challenge-type extracurricular activity?

Do you know of any REAL figures on the number of people who identify themselves as transgendered?

You’re right - going through India as a foreigner is hazardous under the best circumstances. I wouldn’t just try to pass as a man, I’d try to pass as a Hell’s Angel.

24

Anthracite wrote:

According to one post-operative hermaphrodite I knew (she was a hermaphrodite before the surgery and a “complete woman” afterward), as of 1995 there were no anti-discriminations laws or regulations protecting a transgendered person. The situation was far more bleak for a transvestite or transsexual than it was for the more mainstream, run-of-the-mill sexual minorities (such as gay people). This may have changed since then, but I doubt it.

25

–in reply to anthracite–

discrimination in the usa:

until very recently there were almsot no places where the gender variant had protection from discrimination. there are now a few states and a number of cities where we have legal protection. these laws are quite new [most less than a year old], and are mostly untested as yet. a city in massechesettes [i forget which] has provided “protection” for a few years. however the penalty for firing someone for gender variance is 300 dollars. woo woo!! i do know many people that transition on the job are fired very soon. this appears to be changing.

bathrooms:

the law varies, there are places where a crossdressing male could be arrested for using the ladies room. generally if one is going the transsexual route [and therefore must live in the desired gender role full time for a year in order to get the pshrink’s letter for surgery], one is expected to use the ‘other’ restroom. on the job however bathroom use seems to me to be the most contentuous issue. i’ve heard of employers that insist the transsexual use the ‘old’ restroom until after surgery [counter to the requirments to qualify for surgery]. many insist the transsexuals use restrooms designated for all. and some seem to think that transsexuals don’t need restrooms, and tell them not to use men’s or women’s facilities [employers are required by law to provide toilet facilities to their employees.] otoh, i’ve heard via word of mouth, that in los angeles officials recommend that one use the restroom that one is dressed for.

btw, most transgendered people prefer to use the restroom of their desired gender presentation.

percentages:

i don’t believe there are any reliable numbers. i think there are more than most would guess. the internet has allowed many many of us to meet/learn about others, and to help us come to accept ourselves.
thanks for the great questions anthracite :slight_smile: i hope i answered them for you.