Alas, to date there have been no self-identified transgendered folk here…
and i guess i’ll try to answer q’s if they arise.
i don’t use the label transgender to refer to myself. nor drag queen or crossdresser or transvestite etc etc. but others would use it to describe me. i personally don’t like labels, they make one less than human. but whatever.
i’ve lived most of my life believing i was a boy/man. everyone said so, parents, doctors, schools, teachers, friends. you get the idea. even so i wore girls/women’s clothing whenever i’ve had the chance. [at least part of just about every day of my life. it helps me gain outside reinforcement of who i am inside. ]
i’ve only recently fully realized that i am indeed a woman. though i don’t look like it to most others.
to be frank i have no idea what people know about people like me. or what they might want to know. or if they have any interest whatsoever. but i’d be happy to answer questions.
How bout a bit more about you for starters? For instance, are you at the present time still a male in the physical sense(ie penis, testicles)? My impression from your post is that you are, but your soul? spirit? insides? whatever term you want to use is female. If this is correct, are you planning on undergoing surgery to change your physical gender?
How bout a bit more about you for starters? For instance, are you at the present time still a male in the physical sense(ie penis, testicles)? My impression from your post is that you are, but your soul? spirit? insides? whatever term you want to use is female. If this is correct, are you planning on undergoing surgery to change your physical gender?
hi nanook,
i don’t know if questions about someone’s genitals is a typical way to start a dialog, but perhaps that’s what people are interested in??
i possess a set of male genitals in good working order. msot of society thinks that a person is defined by their genitals, even though most people have never seen most other people’s. they assume they know what is down their by face and body clues. and based on that assumption they treat you in certain ways. even tell you what you can and can’t do.
even so, i don’t feel i was born in the wrong body. if i’d been born with a female body my life would have been a lot easier [even considering the discrimination i’d have faced being percieved and treated like a woman.] i’m not considering cosmetic surgery to re-arrange my bits and parts. while having different parts that i do might please me, the more important issue for me living in the social role of woman. genitals are for having sex for the most part.
btw, whatever i say about myself applies only to me. i’m not particularly typical in any way, and that means i’m not a typical “transgendered” as well. [remember i don’t use labels to describe myself normally.]
“They” always like to say that gender is complex and socially constructed, whereas sex is binary and defined by the body. In practice, though, many folks who say such things have a limited number of gender categories in mind and tend to assume they know them all.
I suppose I’m transgendered. I never had an operation and never wanted one; the body male is not in and of itself a problem and I don’t feel alienated from it. But as a kid I thought of girls as “us” and boys as “them”, considering the important thing to be not the body but the personality and behavioral stuff. It’s always been a factor in my sense of identity and at various times in my life has been the most important aspect of how I thought of myself.
It has often been difficult to make social connections with others of similar experience, though. Difficult to explain to folks with a finite number of categories and a desire to put you into one of them! No, “gay” doesn’t fit, although I’ve been a victim of a lot of homophobia. No, I would not call myself a “transsexual”, pre-op or otherwise. No, I don’t consider myself “straight”. No, I don’t think of myself as a “man”. No, “transvestite” doesn’t work, I don’t own any bras…
Hello and welcome, dixiechiq! Nice to see some diversity represented on this board.
So, are we talking sexual identity, rather than gender or orientation?
I admit I’m not up on all my current info, but I suppose I ought to. Not much has been asked in the Gay Guy thread about TG/TV/TS issues (although there was a lively thread in here about Brandon Teena - do a search and check it out, because I know your opinion would be appreciated there).
I have met a few transexuals before. My friend Caressa lived her life as a woman for several years before she could afford the surgery (she did it at about 23). It really changed the quality of her life.
Anyway, have you started the hormones/counseling/living as a woman full-time in order to begin your surgery process? How do you feel people treat you when they see you as a woman? As a man? How different is it? How similar is it?
For those of you following along at home, a little definition.
“Transgendered,” as I have heard the term used by the transgendered community, is a broad catch-all term than encompasses anyone who is any of the following:
[ul]
[li]A transvestite - someone who enjoys wearing the clothing of the opposite sex.[/li][li]transsexual - someone who was born as one sex but has the gender identity of the other sex, whether or not (s)he has received sex-reassignment surgery (a “sex-change” operation).[/li][li]intersex - someone who is a “hermaphrodite”, i.e. born with a sexual anatomy that has some characteristics of each sex.[/li][/ul]
Note that among transsexuals, ones “sex” refers to his/her anatomy, while ones “gender” refers to which bathroom (s)he uses and whether his/her driver’s license says “M” or “F”.
And for a little more depth, there are variances in what’s called "transvestitism."
There are an awful lot of men who enjoy wearing women’s clothing, and most of them are heterosexual.
There are many men (many of whom are gay) who enjoy occasionally or regularly dressing up as women, often including makeup and shaving/depilating. Generally known as “drag queens,” these men don’t always, or even often, identify themselves as women. Classic, if stereotyped, examples can be found in suck films as La Cage aux Folles, Victor/Victoria, and (one of my personal all-time-faves) The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (Guy Pearce is hot enough to make me switch-hit in a hearbeat).
When someone actually identifies himself as a woman, and dresses the part (or otherwise assumes the social or mental trappings of a woman), they move into the “transsexual” realms.
Sorry 'bout that, dixiechiq. Labels suck, but for any neophytes dropping in, labels might be an easy starting point.
Actually, andros, a large majority of the men who actually do the whole makeup-shaving-breast forms-etc. route are, in fact, your run-of-the-mill straight male transvestites. Drag queens are merely a special case of transvestites, involving a whole different set of cultural baggage.
Tranvestites or crossdressers often just want to express a part of themselves that is very important to them, or, in some cases, to present a different persona publicly and to “pass” as a woman.
Fascinating thread! And thanks to the two people who have volunteered their personal accounts – you are brave to be open on a public message board about it.
AHunter, I’m not sure “transgendered” is the accurate term for you – my impression of what it means is that one finds one’s inner self of the opposite sex from what one’s genitals and body form would indicate – and desires to change into a body form that matches one’s self-conception. When you described yourself as a “sissy boy” on an earlier thread, I found that quite clear, if not with appropriate Greco-Latin roots to give you the dignity of a sociological category. My impression is that you enjoy wearing a male body (and IIRC you mentioned once that you were “straight” as regards sexual orientation) but you identify with the traditional female role more than the traditional male role. Is that close to accurate?
Dixiechiq, would you care to describe more of your life? E.g., are you attracted to men or to women? Are you proceeding with sex-reassignment therapy? (As some of you may know, there is a course of hormonal treatment that precedes the radical surgery, and intensive psychological evaluation – since it is a complex and effectively no-return process, any ethical physician wants to be sure that his/her patient is aware of just what he’s setting out to do.)
And a couple of final clarifyings note to Phil’s post on transvestism: []There are many totally straight transvestites who are not interested in being women, having sex with men, or anything of the sort, but just enjoy dressing as women for one reason or another.[]At least some “drag queens” (and “drag kings”) wear drag professionally but are not transvestites outside their drag-performance roles.
Dixiechq and AHunter
Forgive me if my question betrays my lack of knowledge or surrender to stereotypes, but I’m curious:
Why do there seem to be so many male TG’s and so few female ones? Per tracer’s definition, I consider transvestites to fall under the TG umbrella, and must admit that I’ve never (knowingly) met a female TV/TS/TG who liked to dress as or considered herself to be a man.
Yes, the “butch lesbian” look does begin to approximate male appearances, but the butches I know readily acknowledge themselves as being female. And many women wear unisex-type clothes on a regular basis, but I don’t think we could really consider them TG’s. Or should we? Where are the TG women who enjoy wearing suits and ties and consider themselves internally to be men? Assuming my observations are valid, is there some explanation for the gross disparity in male and female TGs?
If I were required to come up with a working theory on the spot, I would probably suggest that TG (or, at the very least, TV) is an emotional escapism from the traditional “male” sociological roles. Because women don’t feel the same social pressure as men to “serve as providers and protectors,” fewer feel the need to escape their socially defined sex roles. Obviously, such a theory is ammunition for anti-TG crowd to walk around saying that TGs are emotionally disturbed. I can’t bring myself to adopt the “emotional escapism” theory, not because it’s illogical, but because I can’t bring myself to accept the ultimate conclusion that transgenderism “is all in one’s head.”
I believe that homosexuality is largely a biological function, and would be willing to accept an assertion that transgenderism is as well. But assuming it is, one would assume that that trait would be fairly evenly distributed between the sexes. It does not appear to be. Why?
Nurlman: As the movie “Boys Don’t Cry” aptly illustrates, women who wish to live as men are vulnerable to retaliative violence if people know they are doing it. To be sure, male to female transsexuals can be the target of violence as well, but all other things being equal, they are likely to be larger persons overall.
Another factor, I think, is that there are people that popular culture has sort of adopted and other that it hasn’t; lesbians and male-to-female transsexuals are both categorically embraced as sex symbols even if as individuals they don’t match the media stereotypes. Female-to-male transsexuals are generally not positioned as ‘sexy’; no one talks about going for a walk on the wild side with them and they aren’t asked to model clothing. Male sexuality is still mainly about the guy’s lusts and interests rather than guy as sex object desired by someone else, so there is no pruriently wicked delight at holding such a person up before the general public and saying “You want him, don’t you? Isn’t he oh so hot? Well-ll, he’s a SHE, heh heh heh” whereas they do this with male-to-female TS individuals.
Being a male chauvanist pig, yes people’s genitals are something I’m very interested in, especially when they’re large, round and able to provide milk when needed
though i hope to be known for more than being gender non-conforming here, i’ll answer…
i’m attracted to feminity. i have no plans or strong desires to have srs [sex reassignment surgery]. i’m married, not
chonologically young any longer. but still young at heart. i’ve travelled a lot and wish to continue to do so. i like adventure,
freedom, tolerance, and new stuff.
Nurlman-----------
Why do there seem to be so many male TG’s and so few female ones?
If I were required to come up with a working theory on the spot, I would probably suggest that TG (or, at the very least, TV) is
an emotional escapism from the traditional “male” sociological roles. Because women don’t feel the same social pressure as men
to “serve as providers and protectors,” fewer feel the need to escape their socially defined sex roles.
some in gender fields say the ratio of m2f and f2m are similar. the m2f get lots more media attention. afterall, why would
anyone want to be a woman?? when it is obviously much better to be a man.!! [that is of course not my opinion.]
as for your working theory… not a bad try, but i’d call it pop-psychology. let me tell you, most of my earliest memories are
associated with me being a girl. for example the oldest dream i can recall is one of me being a bride in a flowery field. this was
when i was perhaps 8 years old. current medical theory is that gender is determined prior to birth, and it does not always
match physical sex-type. it has to do with presense or absence of hormones in the womb at critical times. i don’t really care
why, i’m busy dealing with life as it is for me.
Nanook of the North Shore-------------
Being a male chauvanist pig, yes people’s genitals are something I’m very interested in, especially when they’re large, round and
able to provide milk when needed.
As a woman inside, are you still primarily attracted to women, or are you attracted to men? Is it a case, to use a trite expression, like you are a “lesbian trapped in a man’s body?”
And, does your partner know, and is she supportive?
Why would srs or starting hormone therapy interfere with your life? Might it make you happier overall?
anthricite--------------
As a woman inside, are you still primarily attracted to women, or are you attracted to men? Is it a case, to use a trite expression, like you are a “lesbian trapped in a man’s body?”
And, does your partner know, and is she supportive?
Why would srs or starting hormone therapy interfere with your life? Might it make you happier overall?
Just some silly questions.
hi anthri,
i’m attracted to women. perhaps i could be attracted to a man, but i’ve never really experienced it.
lesbian trapped in a man’s body. i used that once. i don’t feel straight, does that mean the only other choice is lesbian/gay?? i don’t know. but i guess lots of people that meet me assume i’m gay. no big deal. lots of gays are assumed by others to be straight.
i am married, and she knows. she has mixed feelings. when she is happy and healthy herself she is supportive. when she isn’t feeling so well it can be an added drag. [pun intended. ]
how would srs/hrt* interfere with my life?? it would probably end my marriage for one thing. for another, i refuse to abide by any psychotherapy/gatekeeper. if i did choose that/those route/s i’d have to find a way to do it without jumping through hoops. i feel cosmetic surgery such as that should be no different than a medically recognized female getting breast enlargement or reduction.n ie, make an appointment, shell out the cash. it would also make my lifestyle harder. for example, our last trip was a motorcycle journey from the thar desert in india, to the himalaya. it would have been much more dangerous if i hadn’t been able to ‘disguise’ myself as a man.
it would make my life better/happier, in that i would have external confirmation of how i feel inside, and i would have more frequent social interaction as a woman. both of these are important to me, yet i choose not to do so. am i prudent, or a chicken??
luv,peace,happiness.
srs==sex reassigment surgery ie. sex change
hrt==hormone replacement therapy
]
