What is this weird, obscure song?

I’m trying to find the name and artist of this song. It was on a mix tape someone gave to us years ago. A lot of the songs were from a Dr. Demento show or album.

The chorus went,

“We are dead; we are - not here.
If we were then we would - be here.
That’s what someone said, but we’re not; we’re dead.”

Feel free to draw a map of Seattle on your face.

Obey anyone whose head is smaller than a ping-pong ball.

Never trust anyone who has ever heard of Carole King.

No idea, but I found your web page.

It’s hubby’s page. I smugly informed him that the dopers would be able to answer this. You guys need to prove me right!

We Are Dead by Dale Gonyea.

Thank you! I knew the dope wouldn’t let me down.