Mine is “Slicker than snot on a doorknob.”
My favorite slang word is “groovy”. I use it an awful lot. My buddy and I use 30’s and 40’s jazz slang quite a bit. “Solid” is a favorite.
My current favorite is one I picked up from the Brits on these boards: “I couldn’t be arsed to [whatever].”
I do pronounce the R in the middle, though. Sorry.
My mom (b. 1933 and never visited Panama or New Zealand, and only once to England) called them “lying-down policemen,” which is neither morbid nor easy to say.
I don’t judge; I admire. I’m definitely adding that to my repertoire.
That reminds me of the word, tetrapiloctomy.
I like:
- Half a bubble off
- Let’s scratch gravel and mosey
- You can’t fertilize a field by farting through a barbed wire fence
- Lower than a snake’s ass** in a wagon rut
** or a snake’s ventral scutes, if you prefer formality. Is there a more formal way to say wagon rut?
Ah, yes - speed bumps, speed humps, speed tables, and speed cushions. All describing slightly different things. All could be sleeping (or otherwise inert) policemen. All are traffic calming devices.
That’s a great expression, better’n “where men are men and sheep are nervous”. I also like (but rarely use) “Alderman Lushington”, “have no fish and a wet arse”, “not the only onion in the stew”, “woolloomooloo yankee”, “Arkansas wedding cake”, “Irish twins”, “diddumsdiddy” and “the mayor of Crapville”.
I’m very fond of “Well, f— me running.”
Once, in a moment of extreme surprise, I burst out, “Well, f— my doctor!”
Just sent this to my dad. I don’t remember it, but maybe he knows it.
Make it a porcelain doorknob, and then you’ll have another one of my dad’s favorite expressions.
“Well, fuck me stupid.”
“christ on a bike” is also a good one, along with the variation “Judas Priest on a two-stroke moped”
We also often say that our children, when behaving in bizarre ways, are “completely hatstand” in honour of the classic Viz character Roger Irrelevant.
“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
And the British, “What’s that when it’s at home?”
Saw off me starboard leg and salt me for a herring.
“Pull the other one, it’s got bells on”
Raining piss and pick-handles.
“Le voy a enseñar cuantos pares son tres botas”
Literally “I’m going to teach him how many pairs (of boots) are in three boots”
It means “I’m going to beat him up”.
It lends itself to delicious epressions like “If this goes on I’m going to go the post office and start a three boot pair explanation tour”
Pura tilin tilin, pa’ na’ de paletas. (Lots of bell ringing, but the truck is out of popsicles = All hat and no cattle.)
My version is “Hey, I’m fuckin’ this monkey, you’re just holding the tail!”
A co-worker would say, of a guy who was an indiscriminate horndog, “He’d fuck a snake if he could get someone to hold its head.”
Since watching Derry Girls it’s “catch yourself on.”
I found myself using a favourite today: I wouldn’t touch it with a shitty stick.
That is, I won’t have anything to do with it (also used for him, them, etc).
j