What Is Your Morning Waking Routine?

In My Humble Opinion
21

5:55 Alarm #1 goes off briefly (I’m fast on that snooze button, lemme tell you!)

6:00 Alarm #2 goes off. Also briefly.

6:08 Alarm #2 goes off again. This is when I try to get up. It doesn’t always happen. If it doesn’t:

6:16 Alarm #2 goes off again. Now I get up.

Stumble into bathroom. Pee. Shower. Put contacts in, brush teeth, take vitamins, moisturize face, comb hair.

6:45ish-7:00ish Tell roommate that I’m done in the bathroom. Wait for her to get into the bathroom before I turn the other lights on (I’m such a nice roomie).

Turn on NPR in time for 7:00 local news. Get dressed.

7:15ish Roomie’s done in bathroom. I go in to do hair, makeup, etc., and talk to roomie at same time. Comment on news. This was especially fun during election, as we have opposing views. :rolleyes:

7:30ish Find things I need for work (lunch, papers, etc.). Get them together. Chat with roomie.

7:40 or so Leave for work. 45-minute drive, in normal traffic.

8:30 Arrive at work. Fire up computer, get online. Make breakfast and coffee and learn what you crazies have been up to all night.

Rinse. Repeat.

22

6:15–Wake up as “Jabber Alarm” (pat. pend.) aka Mr Baby Man starts talking to himself in the next room. Swoop in, grab baby clothes and diaper and exit before he wakes up his sister.

6:30–Deposit dressed MBM in his chair and distract him with breakfast materials while I make coffee and pack lunches and the coolers for the babysitter.

7:00–Dispense coffee and breakfast to Daddy, who’s off to the bath. Eat toast standing up while doing the dishes and trying to keep MBM out of the kitchen cabinets until Daddy can take over baby wrangling.

7:30–Begin attempting to get Big Sister out of bed and into clothes. Ignore whining. Ignore arguments about wanting to play. Feed Big Sister. Ignore requests to have Oreos for breakfast.

7:50–Take “refreshing” bath because the neighbors and my very clean husband have used up all most of the hot water. Dress for work. Do glamourous beauty routine consisting of brushing my teeth and combing my hair.

8:00–Pack car and do last minute teeth brushing, hair brushing, socks, shoes, jackets, medicine, etc. for everyone within reach.

8:15–Strap them in (I love this part) and hit the road.

23

6:00am: Get out of bed and stumble across the room to turn off the alarm clock. Make certain to trip over the piles of clothes and books on the floor. Bonus points for jamming a toe on a hardback or a piece of furniture. Triple word score for stepping on something breakable like a CD case or remote control. Nothing like breaking something right out of the gate to remind me that today is another day in paradise. The alarm is across the room so that I actually have to get up, otherwise I’ll just turn it off without waking. After all this time, you would think I would have learned that it’s just better to stay asleep.

6:01-6:05: Make way down hallway torward the bathroom. Any other time of the day, I’m able to make this trip without any trouble. In the morning though, it’s an Indiana Jonesesque booby-trapped maze, fraught with peril. There’s the ethernet cable from the DSL router in the other room to trip over, usually accompanied by the sound of my laptop being pulled along the floor or torward the edge of the table. There’s the heater grate which was ingeniously placed so that one can either walk on it or jump over it. Since I’m superstitiously certain that if I step on it, I’ll fall through it into the maw of some evil heater clown, I always must jump over it, taking note of the landing spasms of my 40 year old knees. In the corner of the hall at the bathway door is the laundry basket, which has hard wooden knobs placed at exactly my crotch height. Too much momentum off the evil clown heater jump, and inertia carries me easily toward a self-induced vasectomy.

6:06-6:07: Pee like a racehorse. If it’s a good morning, I’ve remembered to first lift the top lid on the toilet. If it’s a downright magical happy day, I enjoy the inexplicable “pee-shiver”.

6:08-6:09: Brush teeth. Notice once again that morning breath makes plain the fact that, while the elimination area of the digestion system is further down the body, the mouth and it share the same roadway. Look in mirror. Shudder.

6:10-6:20: Shower. Only find satisfying water temperature once per month. Make certain to scare myself by slipping on dropped soap. Mental picture of prune wrinkled body being discovered by police after a three days under the water. Listen subconciously for the shower stream to change pitch as the neighbor flushes their toilet. Stand at remote corner of tub being annoyed until the water cease being scalding.

6:20-6:30: Coffee. I am alive.

24

Christ, am I the only person here who masturbates in the morning?
oops…was that out loud?

25

4:50 Alarm goes off. Husband turns it off.
5:00 Second alarm goes off. Husband turns it off.
5:10-5:15 Husband gets up. I stretch out and hog the bed, usually disloding a cat from a warm spot. Fall back to sleep.
5:40 Husband says, “I’m done in the bathroom.” Mutter “okay” and fall back to sleep.
6:00 Get up, tinkle, give cats clean water in bowl in bathroom, put in contacts, take BCPs, pull back hair with pony-tail holder.
6:15 Go downstairs, get coffee, feed cats their wet food (husband gives them dry food, they get a teaspoon of wet “treat” from me.), change their water, water oat grass for grazing cat, turn on plant light, pack husband’s lunch if I didn’t do it the night before, put out birdseed in the feeder on the porch
6:30 Sit down in living room, read Bible and have some quiet time.
7:00 Fix and eat breakfast.
7:15 - 7:40 Rush upstairs 'cause I’m late. Wash hair and/or body (usually take a bath the night before), dry, curl, put on the very little makeup I do put on, dress (usually something I don’t have to iron), answer husband’s question that, yes, he does need to go downstairs to use that bathroom, brush teeth, finish hair, make bed, open curtains in spare room if its going to be a sunny day.
7:40 Start cars to warm them up.
7:45 Run out to car 'cause now I’m really late! I only live 5 minutes from work but can’t seem to make it there on time.

Saturday and Sunday are usually the same. If I get up when I’m supposed to (5:30), I will do dishes, clean the catbox, and have more time for breakfast/quiet time.

26

…to save time, would that be in the shower?

27

no way. I’ve never been able to do that. I am a definate “dry man”. Never got into the soap/lotion thing.

alarm goes off, I get busy, THEN hop into the shower.

Of course, this is only on weekdays. Weekends the lady is around. Sigh. She’s really gotta move closer.

28

All these are great (gah, I feel like I am a boring person in comparison).
However, the prize goes to Purd Werfect!! I am laughing so hard, I am crying and have a headache!! But it’s a good headache. You have made my day with your morning.

29

Well, I’m glad that one of us enjoys my morning, screech-owl :slight_smile:

30

Oh you poor morning people. One of the advantages of working nights is I get to wake up to a quiet, empty house. I turn on the TV or radio for a while, lay around in bed, and gradually get up, check the voice mail, return any calls that need returning. If I’m still tired, I can get back into bed or lounge on the couch for a while. Finally, about an hour before Mrs. blur and our daughter get home, I start dinner. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I find time to get a quiet, peaceful shower, with pleanty of hot water and no one banging on the door.

31

Mmmm… morning…

  1. Inexplicably wake up without alarm at 8:45 (every weekday)

  2. Stay in bed for an additional 15 minutes, waking up.

  3. Shower (20 minutes, minimum), brush teeth, get dressed.

  4. Talk to one of various roommates if they’re up (for about 2 minutes)

  5. Wander over to work - by bus, or walking if it’s nice.

  6. Arrive at work at around 10.

  7. Eat breakfast at work.

  8. Turn on my desk (two monitors, speakers, three lights)

  9. Talk to workmates and go out for lunch.

there we go.

fun.

-nigel

32

Weekday routine:

5:30 – clock radio comes on, tuned to really annoying pop music station.
Turn off clock radio.
S.t.r.e.t.c.h.
Notice naked woman sleeping next to me.
Remember naked woman does not like sex in the morning.
Especially when she is asleep!
Damn!
Give it up as a bad idea and roll out of bed.

Stumble into bathroom.
Turn on lights… owww!
Grope to toilet with eyes shut.
Sit down and relieve myself.
(yes, I pee sitting down, that way I don’t have to open my eyes to aim.)
Pry eyes open, flush, and go look at face in mirror.
Pry eyes open again.
Trim beard and scrape neck if necessary. (Usually Mondays and Thursdays)
Hit the shower.

Exit shower, dry off, and put on underpants, (left in bathroom the night before so as not to wake Mrs. B.), so certain sensitive parts of my anatomy do not come into contact with cold sink in next step.
Rinse and insert contact lenses.
Take contacts out and re-rinse, re-insert.
Repeat until contacts do not feel like rocks in eyes.

Put on socks and pants, left in bathroom and hall closet, respectively, so as not to wake Mrs. B.

Go to kitchen and extract bagel from bag.
Curse process engineers for not being able to design a bagel slicing machine that will slice a bagel in half, instead of 75%-25%.
Put bagel in toaster.
Fish cream cheese and fruit juice out of fridge, also any leftovers suitable for lunch.
Put on shoes, left in hall closet, etc.
Pop bagel out of toaster before it is cremated.
Assemble breakfast and head for living room to watch traffic report and weather on TV.
Decide Kathy Smith is a hottie.

Finish breakfast, return to bathroom to brush teeth.
Put on shirt left in hall closet, etc.
Wake up Mrs. B.
Remember that Mrs. B. does not like sex in the morning
Damn!

Grab coat, lunch, & gym bag, and head for pickup for 30 mile drive to office.
Curse idiot drivers.
Curse FM1190 for switching to Rush Limbaugh.
Make mental note to reprogram that button.
Curse idiot drivers
Get sick of 10 second news bites interspersed with cell phone ads.
Switch to NPR.
Listen to 2 minutes of 20 minute story on the plight of transvestite tree frogs in South America.
Curse idiot drivers.
Switch back to talk radio.
Curse cell phone ads.
Switch to oldies music station.
Decide Frank Sinatra should have retired 20 years sooner.
Switch back to talk radio.
Curse idiot drivers.
Ignore radio, except for traffic reports.

Get to office and park
Check to see if door into HR Dept. (30 feet from my desk) is unlocked.
Curse HR dept.
Go in door into Payroll Dept, up the stairs, down a hallway, down another hallway, down the stairs, through A/P department, dodging bean-counters, to my desk in IT dept.
Hang up coat.
Check voice mail, e-mail, notes left on desk by whiney bean-counters.
Open sessions to AS/400 and check that backup ran last night.
Check that nothing is hung up in batch queue, etc.
Check that interface from production network ran overnight.
Get up and Put lunch in big refrigerator.
Unlock door to computer room.
Get Barq’s and a water bottle out of little refrigerator.
Return to desk.
Open Barq’s, aaaah…caffeine!
Check SDMB.
Spend rest of morning fixing stuff for whiney bean-counters, and checking SDMB during compiles, waiting for printouts, etc.

Weekend routine:
sleep until I can’t sleep any more. aaaah.

33

Mon-Fri
04.30–Wake up to alarm
04.35–stagger to bathroom naked and pee for thirty seconds in the dark
04.35.30–stagger back to bedroom, grab workout clothes and spend a hour working out.
05.30–return to apartment, shower, shave, grab clean clothes if lucky, sniff test if not.
05.35–VH1 and MTV alternated with local news to
a)make sure world didn’t blow up overnight
b) get offensive bubblegum song stuck in head for commute
05.45–think about breakfast, 9 times out of 10 just drink 3 pints of water and eat protein bar
06.30–walk to Metro, or if cold and/ or raining, take shuttlebus.
07.00-arrive at work after thanking homeless guy for cheery good morning.
07.15-09.00-waste time on SDMB, web, looking for jobs, downloading patches, surfing for pictures of Jessica Alba & Laetitia Casta
09.01-actually begin work.

34

6:52: Just conscious enough to realize I have to get up and pee.
6:54: Try to ignore the fact that I need to get up and pee.
6:56: Utterly fail. Get up. It’s frickin’ freezing! Curse. Pee.
6:58: Try to go back to sleep.
7:19: Finally asleep again.
7:20: Alarm goes off. Snooze.
7:24: Alarm goes off. Snooze.
7:28: Alarm goes off. Snooze.
7:32: Alarm goes off. Snooze.
7:38: Alarm goes off. Curse. Stretch. Curse some more.
7:40: Shower.
7:48: Dress. Try to resist the urge to wear the same pants as yesterday just because they still have wallet, comb and keys in the pocket.
7:52: Breakfast: Cereal, as usual.
7:58: Brush, etc.
8:00: Make sandwich for lunch. With luck I’ll remember to take it with me to work, too, unlike yesterday.
8:05: Get together stuff I need for work.
8:08: Leave for the bus stop.
8:20: Bus arrives. Maybe.
8:35: Arrive at work. The caffeination may now begin, but full consciousness will not be achieved for another two hours.

35

Today:

Woke up
Got out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and had a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus, in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream…
Then I read the news today.
Oh boy.

It’s like that every day for me. Except without the bus/smoke/dream bits and with a bit more shower and car.

Fenris

36

Alarm goes off at 7:45 (actually 7:25; clock is set 20 minutes fast so I’ll think its later than it is. I hit the snooze bar. I hit the snooze bar. I hit the snooze bar. I hit the snooze bar. I realize how late its getting and spring from bed. I throw my clothes on, brush my teeth almost injuring myself in the process, I burst out the front door like Dagwood Bumstead, and I drive to work at a speed in excess of the posted limit and hopefully I’m on time. Luckily nobody ever notices when I’m late, which I was today because I had a gig last night and only got three hours’ sleep. Rock n Roll!!

37

  1. 8:45: Alarm goes off. Alarm is turned off. I go back to sleep.

  2. 9:15: Alarm goes off. Alarm is turned off. I go back to sleep.

  3. 9:45: Alarm goes off. I realize that to turn this one off I have to get out of bed.

  4. 9:47: Pour cup of coffee from thermos. Drink. Pour another. Drink.

  5. 9:50: Get out of bed, turn off alarm.

  6. 9:51: Realize that alarm has already turned itself off. (of my three alarm clocks-yes I have 3 separate ones- this is the one that will turn itself off. No, I don’t have the mental abilities to remember this before morning coffee.)

  7. 9:52: Swear.

  8. 9:52: Realize it’s already too late to make it to my 9:50 class. Go back to bed.

  9. Repeat until lunchtime.
    On weekends, of course, this schedule is completely different. Well, not completely. In fact, up until step 8 it’s identical, step 8 just has to be revised to say “Realize that it’s Saturday/Sunday and I forgot to turn off my alarm clocks again” and then a followup of step 7 covers the weekend.

38

7:00 - Alarm goes off. Reset alarm for 8:00.
7:03 - Cat decides to attack my hand. Swear. Hide under covers.
8:00 - Alarm goes off again. Stretch. Make bed, knocking cat away around 5 times.
8:05 - Get in shower.
8:12 - Get out of shower. Dry off. Wrap hair in towel and apply toner to face.
8:13 - (Winter only) Apply lotion to arms and legs.
8:15 - Walk into closet and decide what the HELL to wear.
8:23 - Finish getting dressed, having pushed the cat away several times. Unwrap hair.
8:24 - Go into bathroom, apply makeup.
8:28 - Brush hair. Apply spray gel.
8:29 - Put on jewelry.
8:30 - Find shoes, put on. Fix breakfast.
8:34 - Finish breakfast. Swear while trying to find my damn ID to get into the building.
8:36 - Find ID. Grab lunch out of refigerator.
8:37 - Put on coat. Walk to car.
8:45 - Arrive at work.

Of course, I don’t wake up until my second cup of coffee… :wink:

39

Just change “morning” to “evening” and this is what I do:

Alarm goes off at 4:30PM.

Get out of bed 10 minutes later.

Throw on any clothes nearby.

Take Kiwi for a walk.

Feed Kiwi, the rats, the birds, and the cats.

If I haven’t showered before going to bed, I’ll jump in the shower.

Get dressed.

Dry hair.

Brush teeth.

Throw together some food to bring to work with me.

One check around the house to make sure everything looks OK and all the pets are taken care of.

Toss Kiwi in the car and head to work.

40

I can’t believe I forgot one of the most important things I do…

soon after crawling out of bed I turn on the computer to check my e-mail. :slight_smile: