I set my alarm clock 30 minutes ahead of when I need to wake up. Then when it goes off I hit the snooze button 4 or 5 times(sometimes 6).
Then I get in the shower. After I get out, I dry off most of the water then get back in bed for another 10 to 15 minutes. This really po’s my wife cause I snuggle next to her (I thought women like snuggling 
) until I get totally dry and snooze one last time. Then alas, I get up what a bummer.
Well what about y’all?
I set my alarm for odd times (like 6:12 or 6:08, never exactly 6:10). I usually wake up at about 5:30 of my own volition, lie there in bed, doze back off, then the alarm goes off and I literally hit the ceiling. (Damn bunk bed and low roof.)
Of course, I can’t stand the beeping of my alarm, so it’s set to go off with the local country station. Whatever song I get woken up to is stuck in my head all day. It’s ALWAYS either Reba McEntire, Faith Hill or Alabama. I don’t like any of those people. Why does it happen like that? Just once I’d like to wake up to Garth Brooks.
I roll off my bunk onto the floor, try to avoid stepping on any of my guitars, grab the first vaguely-matching outfit I find, and run across the hall into the bathroom for a shower. After my shower, when I’m clean, dressed, tooth-brushed and made-up, I go start my car. I leave it running for ten minutes while I round up everything I need for school.
I leave.
If it’s not a school day and I don’t have to work, I sleep until 9 or 10, and then repeat my school-day wake-up-ing-ness except that I don’t have to warm up my car or run frantically about the silent house in search of homework.
You’d like to wake up to Garth Brooks? ewwwwww
6am:
Wake up to alarm clock and/or small child. Say “Husband wake up, you gotta go to work” for oh, about an hour. When husband is sufficiently awake (sometimes he tricks me and falls back asleep) go into the kitchen and make coffee.
6.30-7am:
While coffee is brewing, fire up the 'ol email. Drink first cup while reading and/or responding to overnight correspondence.
7am:
Make breakfast for small child, while he eats read the news on the computer. After he is done, lay out his clothes and threaten vile things if he doesn’t get dressed in a prompt manner.
7.30am:
Bang on bathroom door, ask Husband “What the hell is taking you so long”. Pack lunchbox and backpack for small child.
8am:
Bang on bathroom door again.
8.15am:
Help small child brush teeth and wash face and hands.
8.45am:
Breathe small sigh of relief as husband and small child leave for work and school. Goof off for 15-20 minutes.
9am:
Work on whatever jobs or projects I’ve got lined up. Drink more coffee.
11.30am:
Shower and get ready to pick small child up from school.
*Originally posted by vanilla *
Who’s Opal?
Now that I now this(that your whole morning is based on seeing my threads) I’ll try to think of weirder ones. 
Don’t know in the morning, but in the afternoon, I like to move threads to IMHO.
Now that I {b]K**now this(stupid sticking “k” key)
Monday through Friday
Wake to alarm 6 am.
Turn down volume (I like the news on the station but they have a “Rush Limbaugh one-minute update”).
Turn up volume after I think Rush has ended to listen to news.
Remove cat from feet, stomach, head chest or wherever sh has decided to sleep.
Take care of morning hygiene (shower, etc.).
Lie down again for another 20 minutes while coffee maker is running.
Feed cat.
Feed bird.
Feed self.
Dress.
Leave for work.
Saturday
Wake up at 5 am.
Repeat cat exercises.
Take care of morning hygiene (shower, etc.).
Feed cat.
Feed bird.
Feed self.
Clean house and do laundry (finished by 9 am - damn, I’m getting better at it - used to be done by 10 am).
Listen to NPR - “Car Talk” and “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me”.
Sunday
Wake up at 9 am.
Repeat cat exercises.
Take care of morning hygiene (shower, etc.).
Feed cat.
Feed bird.
Feed self.
Watch videos.
Edit education manual.
Wildest; I’d like to see you try
I get up around 6:40 or so.
My alarm is great - it plays music that gradually gets louder so I don’t jump out of bed shocked to hell. This only works for people who don’t need an arrow shot in the butt to wake up.
I take a shower and upon getting out, immediately turn on the television to NBC so I can see the beginning of the Today Show. I make my bed with a towel on my head and a robe on. Then I start the coffee. While it brews, I blow dry my hair.
I get a cup of coffee and check e-mail. Then I get dressed, put on makeup, etc - then is a morning bagel or whatnot. Put the rest of the coffee in a thermos and head out the door to work.
Tibs
M-F
Alarm goes off at 6 a.m. (talk radio staton).
Brush teeth while shower warms up, then shower and dress.
Go downstairs to kitchen. Feed dog, start coffee, turn on radio to WLS, let dog in back yard, make 3 bagels for breakfast on train, pack lunch.
Drink coffee while taking dog for walk, after which dog brings in paper.
Read comics while taking a dump.
Fill pockets with wallet/keys/etc, don outerwear, grab briefcase, and trudge towards 6:59 train.
Sat-Sun
Wake up without alarm sometime around 7-7:30.
Feed dog, start coffee, have dog bring in paper, then put dog in yard.
Eat breakfast, drink coffee, read paper, and hope kids don’t get up for a few more minutes.
Ah the beauty of being unemployed … actually, now I find myself more in the role of caretaker.
Alarm set for 6:30 … from that point on I spend an hour trying to convince Mrs. Batty that she needs to get up. All the while …
6:45 I take Daisy-Bob for a quick poop over in the neighbor’s driveway.
7:00 Straight to the kitchen for my requisite pot of Hazel-Nut coffee.
7:00 Do my Crossword-A-Day calendar crossword puzzle.
7:30 Quality time with The Straight Dope Looneys.
9:00ish Back to bed.
Repeat at noon.
Then the chores start. Cleaning - cooking - walking the dawg - oh and looking for a job.
M-F
Alarm goes off at 5:20 am real time. It actually reads 5:30.
Hit snooze.
Alarm goes off at 5:29 (5:39 real time).
Hit snooze.
Alarm goes off at 5:39 (5:29 real time).
Hit snooze.
Alarm goes off at 5:49 (5:39 real time).
Wake up in a panic that I’m late.
Look at clock on dresser, and realize it’s only 5:40. (I need that adrenaline rush!)
Go pee.
Go get clean underwear out of dryer. (In the dresser? Ha!)
Get in shower.
Dry off, comb hair, brush teeth, apply deodorant and baby powder to various parts of my body.
Get dressed.
Apply makeup, such that it is. (I don’t wear much.)
Put on jewelry.
Decide if this is a bowling day, and gather jeans and t-shirt, shoes and socks to take with me.
Grab microwaveable lunch.
6:20 am.
Carry all this shit to the car, including purse and coat, try to open the car door without dropping anything, throw it all in, and drive (45 min) to work, where I get my first cup of coffee and relax.
Monday through Friday:
6:30 Vaguely wake up to my husband slamming the shower door shut.
7:00 Wake up again to my alarm. Without opening my eyes, turn it off and turn the radio on to NPR. Listen to the news.
7:15 Drag myself out of bed. Let the dog out & back in again. Shower, makeup, hair, dress.
8:00 Get in my car and head to work.
Saturday:
8-ish Roll out of bed. Let the dog out. Shower, get dressed.
10:00 Read the paper, do the crossword, eat something, listen to Car Talk, listen to Whaddya Know.
Sunday:
8-ish Same routine as Saturday, except the crossword is better and I listen to Prairie Home Companion.
7:00 am Alarm goes off. Hit Snoozebar.
7:09 am Alarm goes off. Hit Snoozebar.
7:18 am Alarm goes off. Tell cat to shut up. Hit Snoozebar.
7:27 am Alarm goes off. Hit Snoozebar.
7:36 am Alarm goes off. Tell cat to shut up. Hit Snoozebar.
7:45 am Alarm goes off. Tell cat to shut up. Hit Snoozebar.
7:54 am Alarm goes off. Stumble out of bed. Give cats treats to shut loud one up. Hit Snoozebar.
8:03 am Alarm goes off. Get up.
8:05 am Brush teeth, get shower heating up.
8:05-8:15 am Shower.
8:15-8:25 am Wander naked through the apartment, get dressed.
8:25-8:30 am Say good bye to cats.
8:30 am Go to work.
M-F
Alarm goes off at 6:00.
Get out of bed around 7:15.
Move REALLY slowly and eventually get dressed and over to my school… Eventually…
Sat and Sun?
I don’t wake up in the morning. And when I do, I usually try to stay in bed, warm with a book, as long as possible.
7:34 a.m. - Alarm goes off. Hit snooze. (Has to be annoying buzzer - no music. I will not wake up to music as it’s too soothing.)
7:43 a.m. - hit snooze again
7:52 a.m. - hit snooze again
8:01 a.m. - hit snooze, but lay there almost awake, deciding if I should hit snooze again or just get up. Cuddle with dog. Realizing I am now capable of an actual thought process, I stumble to the bathroom, making sure to re-cover dog.
8:11 a.m. - Flip on heat lamp in bathroom, run shower water.
8:12-8:20 a.m. - Brush teeth and pee in shower. Bathe. Let cats into bathroom while drying off. Talk to them while they lick water off the shower walls and floor. Break up any cat fights.
8:20-8:30 a.m. - Get dressed and then pull covers off dog’s head. Tickle her until she realizes she has to go pee. Ask dog, “Are you going to work today?” This causes her to sproing up out of the bed and bound – like Tigger – to back door.
8:31 a.m. - Let dog out. Feed cats. Let dog in. Feed dog. I am now one minute late to work.
8:35 a.m. - Pick up whatever trash I left in living room the night before. Empty ashtray. Take dirty glasses to kitchen sink. Collect keys, purse and whatever work needs to go back to the office. Put on shades.
8:40 a.m. - Make dog sit on couch. Pat her on head, kiss her on nose. Make her kiss me back. Tell the cats to be good. Tell the dog to watch out for the cats. Last thing said before walking out the door, “Stay here. Be good. No biting, no barking. Leave the cats and the mailman alone. I’ll be back.”
8:45 a.m. - Leave for work, fully fifteen minutes late. Arrive at almost 9:00 – a good thirty minutes late. THEN drink coffee made by my fabulous excellent-coffee-making assistant. Mental note: Remind self to give credit to assistant for making great coffee on his next appraisal.
9:35 a.m. - Finally wake up and go outside to have cigarette.
10:15 a.m. - Staff starts talking to me because I am finally coherent and not so grumpy.
M-F
Alarms start going off at 4:45, the tv kicks on at 4:30, the same time that coffee starts brewing.(I love automatic timers)
Wake up around 4:50-5:00. Turn off alarms #1,2,3 and 4. These have to be buzzers, and placed in various places around the apartment.
pee
stumble to coffee pot and pour cup #1. Drink cup #1 while watching the morning local news and/or checking e-mail.
Get cup #2. Same as above.
Drag myself into the shower around 5:30. Take too long if it’s hot water. If, like this morning, it’s cool/lukewarm, take a quick shower.
Dress, with the towel wrapped around my head, in somethign that I grab from the closet. Does it match? Does that really matter?
Eye makeup, then brush my teeth. Take the towel off the head, gently blow dry hair until slightly damp. Do rest of makeup.
Curse because I can’t find my shoes. Find shoes. Put on coat, grab keys, gloves, briefcase and wallet and head out the door. 10 minute walk to the train, 30 minute ride downtown.
Two routines, depending upon whether the Queen of the Universe is with me or her mother.
W/The Queen
5:30 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. The Queen calls. Put on robe and slippers and get her out of crib. She likes for me to take her hand and walk her into the kitchen. “Let’s eat,” she’s quite capable of saying. Fix the Queen’s juice, cereal, yogurt. Fix my own. Sit down with her and try to keep her from throwing most of it into the floor while I eat. Turn on T.V. and listen to morning news.
6:30 a.m. Zoomafaloo is on. The Queen retires to “The Big Girl Chair” while Daddy gets ready for work: Brush teeth (how can you folks brush your teeth before you eat - what’s the point?), get in shower, exit shower to find the Queen in the bathroom trying to throw things down the toilet. Fish stuff out of the toilet. Shave. Dress the Queen. Dress myself. Gather all of the Queen’s possessions (i.e., blanket and pacifier), my briefcase, my lunch (made the night before). Hold her hand as she walks down the steps, counting as she goes.
7:15 a.m. Drop the Queen off at daycare.
7:40 a.m. Arrive at work.
Without the Queen
Everything is the exact same, just leave out the Queen-related parts. Even on weekends.
A creature of habit am I.