I wouldn’t be posting this because I was banned from the board.
But if I was Satan and not banned …
I’d never appear before people and offer them a contract for their soul. After all, an appearance by Satan proves the existence of Hell and most people, confronted by this, would suddenly develop a interest in ensuring their entry into Heaven.
So, as Keyser Sose once said, Satan’s greatest trick was convincing people he didn’t exist. Rather than explicitly buying souls, Satan would offer opportunities for people to damn their souls. Satan would be the one who dropped the wallet with $5000 and the owner’s address inside it. Satan would be the one who sent over the sexy neighbour when your spouse is out of town. Satan is the one who lets you find out some embarassing gossip about a co-worker. In each case, you think you have the opportunity to do something morally wrong without consequences, but Satan is keeping score.
As someone already mentioned, selling your soul is a poor economic decision, since you gain a small short term advantage while losing considerable equity in the long term.
The solution, therefore, is to lease your soul. That way, you get the benefit of interest over the lease term, limited depreciation, and the ability to set your own terms to the lesee - such as the all important doughnut clause.
I don’t really believe in souls, or the devil, but if I found myself in a position where the devil was offering me good or services in exchange for it, I would at that point begin beliving, as I would be convinced that the devil was real based on seeing him with my own eyes, and would therefore be convinced my soul was real, as shown by the fact that the devil was interested in a trade for it.
And, life has taught me that if a salesman approaches you with an offer that just seems too good to be true, and it appears as if you’ll get something for nothing, there will be a catch.
Personally, whether I believe in the Devil or not, I do not want to ever be caught in any “catches” that he might dream up, so I would, respectfully, pass on the offer.
Oh but if I DID make the trade, I’d be sure not to eat the entire donut. “I OUTSMARTED THE DEVIL!”
If Satan: Enough money to change the entire world for the better, and to finance the research of technologies which would make me virtually immortal – say, $500 trillion.
If any corporeal human: $5, cash or money order. You send it, I’ll send you a signed slip of paper saying you own my soul.
Now there’s the potential of a deal. I, a corporeal human, buy Varlos’ soul for five dollars. Then I turn around and sell it to Satan for ten million dollars, Asia Carrera, and a donut.