I’ve just remembered in university a professor told me I could make a good preacher. I’m not sure about it, but maybe she had a point.
Ok. President.
Okay. But anybody in America can be that.
^ Under rated comment.
You know those pothole filling crews? There’s a pickup truck with a front end loader bucket of asphalt on the gate and three guys behind it on foot, lazily dragging shovels down the highway. I could very easily perform the job of the driver of the tail truck with the big collapsible crash absorber dealie on the back. Basically just idle or slower and don’t hit the shovel guys. What time’s lunch?
Or the guy walking along with the CAUTION sign!
I’d love to be the driver of one of the “chase cars” accompanying a “wide load” truck. You know, a giant crane has to go out I10, and there’s a pickup truck ahead and another behind, with flashing lights and big “Wide Load” signs. Long distance driving! Cool! Sign me up! And, rilly, how hard can it be?
I’ll bet a lot of dirty looks from other motorists comes with that job.
A winery Sommelier.
“What do you do…?” “I’m a Sommelier.” “Well, don’t worry. That ‘Fabreeze’ stuff works wonders.”
Continuing the long history of flamboyant job titles, apparently being a “beer sommelier” is a thing. “This chorizo sausage would go well with a cold 2018 Modelo Negro.”
So why not milkshake sommelier? “Perhaps you can identify notes of vanilla, seaweed and Asian pear?”
Mattress tester. My Beloved worked at Sealy for quite a few years and I would put in for the job every so often.
Chief Justice of the US. No legal training but that’s what clerks are for.
Serious answer: airline pilot or physician.
These were two of the three careers I thought I might want to do in a 6th grade assignment years ago, and I still think I could have done either of them well. Why? I’m good at learning complex tasks that require becoming intimately familiar with a large body of knowledge, and I have a lot of attention to detail.
I really tried to get into military aviation years ago (which could have led to a subsequent career as an airline pilot), but didn’t have the uncorrected eyesight that was required to be military pilot, and had no interest in being a passenger. Since then, I’ve also been considering getting a private pilot’s license for years now, but my interest in flying an old small general aviation plane with a piston engine has waned, plus I’ve been sidetracked with other interests.
With respect to medicine, I know a friend who went to medical school in his early thirties (after serving as a military flight officer!), and I halfway considered it myself at the time. My father was a physician, and my half-brother went to medical school in his early thirties, so I don’t doubt I could have done it, but it would have involved a near-complete switch from my degrees in engineering.
(The third career I thought I might do in that 6th grade assignment was to become a teacher. I actually did fall into that job by happenstance for a few years, and ended up doing a very good job at it. I might have made it a career, except for the fact that teachers make far less than engineers. I sometimes regret this choice, because I thought teaching was the most rewarding job I’ve ever had in my life.)
God. He’s been missing some golden smiting opportunities lately, and I think it’s time he retired. If we’re sticking with real jobs, I guess sniper is the closest thing. I fired a rifle once at summer camp and I was totally good at it.
The hard part of a bombardier’s job is not operating the equipment.
It’s keeping your composure while doing so, what with the noise and the fear and whatnot.
And the lack of sleep, from lying awake wondering just how many workers were in those factories (hopefully factories, not homes!) you bombed. And you are the one that pulled the trigger. The pilot only flew you there. The bomb manufacturers only built the tools. YOU are the one that chose when to release them.
And knowing you will have to go out and do it again, and again, and again.
Bombardier was one of the roles in war that was most prone to PTSD, without ever actually seeing an enemy face-to-face.
Economy Czar - or something like that. My ideas for running the economy are much better than what others have come up with (in my fantasy land).
I’m somewhere between Oredigger and Esprise Me. I’d be a great world dictator. As long as folks would just do what I goddamned told them to do, everyone would be so much happier.
NO supporting evidence? Nothing really. I dabble in all sorts of stuff. If I haven’t dabbled in it, I’m not interested, and I’m not good at anything I’m not interested in. I always aim to achieve, at minimum, mediocrity at anything I dabble in before I move on to something else, so that would be some supporting evidence that I could be great.
Things people have remarked I’m good at in spite of not doing it professionally:
Singing.
Acting.
Magic.
I was heading to a conference where I realized I’d be giving away a ton of business cards (in exchange for tchotchkes and donuts at a trade show), but I’d never see those people again.
So I printed up a variety of cards with different titles that I wish I could get to do. One was Pastor/Sniper.
(My rationale was “Hey, there are plenty of people that the Earth would be better off without, and I’d like to introduce them to God as soon as possible.”)