Or movie star.
Well, he’s already into genital display as a form of signalling dominance
“Look out, Mr. Koizumi, he’s going to mount!”
My 9th grade history teacher. I think you could train a monkey to pass out packets and then sit there while a movie plays…
Name a sport that a monkey could make good money competing in.
He could work as a wrench.
A great ape could be a fabulous wrestler if it didn’t matter so much what happened to his opponents.
Oh Ho! getting serious are we? Ok, name any real job a monkey could actually do.
Peace,
mangeorge
I have to admit that I was thinking of simians in general, not just monkeys. However, aside from mangeorge’s point (do you really not have a problem with monkeys as school teachers or stock brokers, but you do have a problem with them on a sports team?) I’d say that a decent-sized monkey might be trainable to hold the ball for a football kicker. Maybe they’d do OK with pro bowling. If we are including all simians, then I’d say that gorillas could do fairly well at boxing, pro wrestling or maybe even NFL lineman. I don’t think that they have anywhere near the agility of humans, but then I’ve observed some NFL linemen that don’t seem to have very much agility either. Remember, I’m not saying that they’d necessarily excel in those roles, either. And of course by now many people have seen footage of the karate chimp. I don’t think there’s that much money in professional karate, but then again if he’s being marketed as the World’s Greatest Chimpanzee Karate Master he could probably rake in a pretty good sum of money.
Oh, and I think most monkeys are just as qualified as humans to stand in the outfield and spit and scratch themselves. But that might just be my disdain for pro baseball players in general…
I thought that the others were being silly while I thought that was being serious.
What exactly gave you that impression? If I was being serious I would have said, “this is ridiculous, of course even if we could train monkeys to do various jobs, monkeys have no desire or need for monetary income anyway.”
:smack:
Unfair to whom, Freejooky?
I find it absurd that anyone should be overly concerned about the compensation someone else can wrangle out of their situation, regardless of their little education and skills. More power to 'em, I say.
The usual answer to this goes something like “We have to pay their wages.” Bullshit. That’s not the problem. Is it.
What other thread?
I think the OP’s reference is to this thread: What is the most demanding & complex skilled job with the relatively poorest pay?
While mangeorge makes a good point that, in reality, there are almost no humanly held jobs a monkey (and most of us probably think chimpanzee here) could perform at well, I think the OP means to address jobs that are relatively well paid that don’t require a lot of technical skill, or even understanding.
In my experience, technical or industrial marketing reps get the most bang for their cerebral buck. They’re not responsible for the performance of the product, nor do they really even need to understand it. They provide accessibility, answers on demand, service and competitive quotes, with almost all of the really relevant information being supplied by others.
Their main skills are social. Yet they do bring in substantial incomes. Not unlike stockbrokers.
In the same vein, there was my AP Computer Science teacher. Job description: sit on computer and play Solitaire while Roland (who has never studied programming before) teaches class because you don’t know to program. When student asks question, hand him/her the copy of “C++ For Dummies” that is sitting on your desk. If book does not help, tell student to go ask Roland.
Figuring out console C++ on my own, with only our crappy textbook as a guide, was somewhat challenging. I didn’t mind, though; it was certainly a lot more fun than most of my high school courses. What was annoying was that the county was paying this woman to “teach” us via giving us assignments, playing Solitaire, and handing us a book from time to time, while I was quite literally the only reason anybody else in the class had any idea what they were doing. By the end of the year, it became apparent to me that if I couldn’t figure out how to do an assignment, we just weren’t going to do it, because there was no way the teacher was going to be able to do it. I tested this by “drawing a blank” on a particularly annoying assignment that involved creating a class consisting of a header file that drew on multiple .cpp files (I actually did the assignment at home; I was trying to learn, after all). Sure enough, that assignment was cancelled.
Last I heard, this same teacher is still teaching AP Comp Sci at my old school. I wonder if she’s been lucky enough to get a “student teacher” every year, or if her classes are filled with nothing more than a roomful of 
accompanied by click…click…click…(New Game?)
In which case my previous answers of pro athlete and movie star stand!
The fact that they could be trained to do a fair amount of jobs that pay a decent amount.
Clint Eastwood co-star. 
My contribution: I had a friend whose dad used to stamp the bottom of cigarette packs with a hand-stamp. All day long.
Monkey see package. Monkey do stamp.
I don’t think he’d do it well, but he’d do it a grand sight better than he’d do a lot of other things (like anything in the professional sports arena).
I also seem to recall an article once about a blacksmith in India that had trained a monkey to work the bellows for him. I think the monkey was on a chain.
I bet you could train a monkey to be a messenger, too, like the guys on bikes, if he didn’t have to go to too many places.
COBOL Programmer
Night watchman
Toll collector
Post to the SDMB … yiiipe yiiipe yiiipe!!! hoohoohoo hoohoo
Watch yourself there.
This gets my vote for best post of the year.