Too lazy to do anything else but keep going.
Hope that things will get better and that I’ll be happy again in the (near) future.
Coffee and love. The coffee is a lot more prevalent these days.
Fuck if I know, sometimes.
Kids and coffee keep me going throughout the day, at night it’s music and a glass or three of Scotch.
On a daily basis, my husband and the cats. In the bigger picture, it’s because life throws me a lot of curveballs and the winning lottery ticket (literal or metaphorical) could be just around the corner.
Music and good wine help too.
Yep. Anger and vitriol. If the universe wants to destroy me, it’s going to have to try a lot harder. It’ll win in the end, but bugger it if I’m not going to have fun twixt now and then.
I am always looking for a new project/fund raising opportunity to benefit my animal shelter/humane society.
I’m a guitar-shop-a-holic and love to write songs.
My grandson Julian who likes to play WoW with me.
My blog.
And again in the project department: I am making plans to re-organize a community theatre group here in Paulding County.
Now here’s the caveat to all of the above: A lot depends on how “froggy” I feel on any given day.
I too have depression along with the EOAD, and no two days are ever the same for me.
Consequently, some days I don’t do shit and I get into that “groove” of not doing shit and there you go.
I’m very difficult to motivate.
Quasi
I love my family and my friends.
I love my company, even if I’m not in love with my current job there.
I love the smell of wood smoke in the winter and the feel of cool winds and the sight of leaves reddening in fall and the first sprouts of green in spring and the miraculous blue of a summer sky. I love the feeling of the heat trapped in my thick hair dissipating when I take a cool shower.
I love raising a glass with friends and eating a really good steak.
I love the feeling of waking up late on a Saturday morning with nowhere important to be and nothing important to do.
I believe I can make my life better and I think that despite some things we human beings have done to the world – and because of some other things we’ve done – the world is beautiful and life is worth living.
I am at peace. I am content.
I think there are better things to come, and regardless of what waits for us after we die, we have an entire world we can make into a hell or a paradise. I can make my own little part of it whatever I want it to be. I have enough power for that.
I’m annoying, I know it.
The lulz.
In high school, I had perfect attendence.
If you asked me this question when I was still in high school, I would have answered “perfect attendence”. I don’t know what got me though college. I don’t know what keeps me going now.
Pigheaded curiosity.
My love of independence and freedom. Doing whatever I want to do, how I want to, as privately as I choose. Even when I’m feeling really crappy, I take comfort in the fact that I’m not obligated to anyone or anything. If things get really bad, I can just pack up and leave and go somewhere else, either physically or mentally. And no one can stop me.
Honestly, second to not wanting to hurt my family, the one thing that keeps me from killing myself is not being in control of what happens to my body and my stuff. I also think my self-sufficiency has also kept me from being swallowed up by the physical symptoms of depression. For me, the fear of being dependent on others is more powerful than the fear of living. So as much as I would like to stay in bed staring at the ceiling all day, I have to get up because the alternative is having someone take care of me. Which would make me feel a trillion times worse.
My spouse, my cats, World of Warcraft, and writing. In that order.
Planning my Revenge on humanity.
The knowledge that there is so much out there to discover just on our own planet.
This will sound strange, but it’s true.
Right now I’m hanging on in anticipation of seeing the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter’s photos of the old Apollo landing sites. It’s supposed to launch in April, and we’ll hopefully see images shortly thereafter. It’s always intrigued me that the LEM lower stages and Rovers and stuff have been sitting there since the late 1960’s and early 70’s without ever being seen again. I’m going to be really pissed off if the launch date slips or something goes wrong.
After that happens, I’ll have to find something else.
This is more along the lines of what drives me but: the absolute terror of being poor.
We were poor growing up, more so when I was young, lower middle class when I was in my teens. I saw my folks scrimp and save for each little thing. It drives me still to make as much as I can - I have always aimed at being wealthy. (I’m not there yet.)
I’m happy with my life and I don’t have unrealistic expectations. I choose to have an optimistic outlook, even though I know that life won’t always be a bowl of cherries. Everything’s Jake.