As you might guess, I’m feeling pretty low right now. I’m alone, and it seems that everything I’ve ever attempted has failed, with many more things I’ve never tried for fear of failure. I’m not feeling suicidal, but I am feeling rather hopeless, like I’ve got nothing to look forward to but the same gray existence. Any suggestions, besides get your head out of your ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself?
I’ve often been where you are now, and have no doubt that I’ll be there again. Usually, I try to find something to take my mind off of my misery; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t (it kind of depends on the depths of my despair at the time).
There have been numerous threads about depression here at the SDMB, so if nothing else, you’ve got a good support group. Regardless how you might feel, you’re not alone.
Watch cartoons, read books that are funny, turn to funny movies, open the blinds, try to have a real good friend over, one who is understanding and cheerful, rent or go to a movie, go out for a good meal, go shopping, go for a drive with good tunes blasting from the radio, or work on a hobby I love. Get on the net and chat, leave messages, locate friends, write e-letters, play with my pets and burn candles with cool scents. Failing that, have a few beers in a bar or at home. Go to a strip club. Get laid.
If that failes, and it is nothing chronic, hunker down and wait it out or try to sleep it through.
Mostly, I remember that it always passes. Give it time. Wallow in it, even. Listen to Cowboy Junkies, the Trinity Sessions album. Watch sad movies. I can actually enjoy being depressed.
But if I want to come out of it, I watch old musicals. Singin’ in the Rain works wonders.
When I’m feeling especially depressed, I usually try to take a nap. I generally I wake up feeling at least somewhat better. It’s a temporary solution, but sometimes that’s all that’s needed.
If I can’t sleep, and I don’t have the energy/willpower to force myself to get out and do something, I usually write. It can be writing in my journal, writing poetry, writing out song lyrics I like, writing about how I’m feeling or about positive things in my life (and there’s always something), or writing an email to a friend. If I’m writing about something somewhat unrelated, it can help to get my mind off depressing subjects. If I’m writing about things that are bothering me, the problems usually seem more managable once their written out, and I can think more clearly. Often in writing I gwt insights that would never have occured to me otherwise.
And of course, if depression is a chronic problem, medication and therapy can do wonders. I’m currently on meds, and have been in therapy, and now periods of depression are relatively short and infrequent, wheras it used to be my entire life.
What I do is sleep. When I’m sick of myself for that I find something to do for someone else, to take my focus off myself. I hate to admit it, but exercise helps. And there’s some hilarious threads here to get you a quick rush from a full body laugh. Try Stupiest thing I ever did or Funniest books or Stupiest things overheard or Funniest things said during intimate moments if you think a laugh might help.
Abby
A nap is good. A long nap. I also listen to tunes, lots of tunes.
Eating chocolate sometimes helps.
Also, read the stupidest thing I ever did thread, you will pee yourself laughing.
Thanks for the suggestions, especially the “stupidest” threads. I was just about crying by the time I got through the intimate moments one. Wallowing in it is what I usually do, but not even Simon & Garfunkel were pulling me out. Thanks again, and goodnight.
When I’m depressed, I tend to sit around. I cry a lot, and I sleep a lot. I cope better now than I used to because I know it will go away and I will get back to normal. I find using the computer makes me more depressed when I’m down, so I try to avoid it.
I move furniture around.
If I’m depressed I play bass, write, or draw, usually. If I’m depressed/frustrated I might take a little drive in my car, far away from the sensitive ears of friends and family, and just scream my head off. Not for the whole drive, as it takes a while to build up to one or two long, hard screams. It’s a way to let off some steam that’s built up. Usually helps me afterwards, because then I’m finally able to let out any emotion that’s been causing my depression.
Also, going out with friends and making the laugh is a good way to make me feel better. Or just stay at home and watch my happy movie (The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit).
Well, if I have been taking my medicine regularly, then it probably just frustration with a bad day or week and I do something to take my mind off of things. The funny threads are good. Yard work helps, too. Nothing like mowing down poor defenseless grass blades to unload that feeling of helplessness. If I could find a place to do it, I would go help stack heavy packages or flour sacks or hay bales. Good, hard, mindless work that gives you a sense of accomplishment. I mean, have you ever filled a barn with a couple of thousand hay bales? It isn’t exactly intellectually challenging, but you get done and look it over and you think “Geeze, so many tons of hay stacked and the barn filled and I did it.” It does wonders for your self worth. Read a good book or two. Take a book with you, and go sit in a strip joint back in the corner somewhere and read your book and drink a coke and keep an eye on the stage - sometimes the dancers take an interest in such odd balls and will come over just to talk for a while, which is pretty neat. Nothing like talikng to a pretty, half naked girl to take your mind off your problems. Take your book, and go to a pub where lots of people hang out. Chances are good someone will come over to talk to you about the book or at least ask why you are reading in a pub - then you get a chance to talk to this peron about other things and maybe make a new friend. Go to a disco somewhere way far from home and act like a loon. Dance the funky chicken and strike conversations on strange subjects with complete strangers. Lots of fun.
When I’m depressed I’ll either go to the shootin’ range, work around the yard/house or go for a run (can’t to that now though since I sprained both of my ankles).
I try to create.
It lets off steam and is constructive. Self esteem is based on what you have done. Do stuff that is good. Accomplish. Volunteer somewhere. (serving at a soup kitchen takes no skill : not much ability to fail, and you are helping people :worth to the world.) Write, draw, paint, get down and dirty in some construction. Physical activity. Sweat, feel alive, heart pumping. Learn something new and take pride in it.
I think of depression like a tree through winter. Sleeping, cold, bare. Springtime comes and the tree can either blossom, grow new wood, new leaves, and force sap through its veins or stay dead. Find what makes you have to admit that you are not only living but vibrantly, vitally alive.
And now, I should follow my own advice and get to the gym.
I sing. LOUD. The neighbors call it screeching and other unpleasnt names, but I find that when I turn the music up loud and start singing I always feel better.
I go to a strip club about once a week, and have done so for years, though I’ve never taken a book. I have taken a Slinky, fresh baked cookies, and some other oddball items though. Since I’ve been going in there so long, almost all of the ladies know me and tell me their problems and life stories - I’m sort of a surrogate big brother.
Good suggestions all - I just got back from mowing my parents lawn and I’m sweaty, tired and feeling rather better.
Thanks,
Galen
BTW, does anybody know what dirtbox demon means?
I wrote a novel. And got therapy.
I run for as long as I possibly can, then come in, take a cool shower and fall asleep. Usually I’m feeling pretty good, or at least pretty sore, when I wake up.
Sleep, cry, mope, SHOP.
Someone suggested drinking? Alone? Naw, probably won’t make you feel better. Find a good hobby to do at home & the distraction alone should help pull you back out… And don’t sweat it… Things can only get better!