I’ve been seriously (but not anything like clinically) depressed at certain times in my life, I don’t tend to get that way now and I hope that I never will again.
Without glossing over the awfulness that depression really is, and without trivialising it, are there any things that you’ve done (or been told to do) that helped you climb out of it?
For me, odd though it might seem, some really useful advice turned out to be:
[li]Get enough sleep, but don’t stay in bed all morning[/li][li]Get out and see the sunshine[/li][li]Don’t wear black[/li][li]Keep the personal hygiene up, get some nice soaps and stuff.[/li][li]Treat yourself to something (even something small like a bar of chocolate) and keep telling yourself that you really deserve it[/li]
There was also (and this was the very hard bit) the conscious decision that I had to make to stop bitching about how depressed and lonely I felt, from the bottom of the pit, I just couldn’t see that this was causing more problems.
Like I said though, I’m not saying that I think depressed people should just easily be able to ‘snap out of it’ - but please share anything that you think helped you.
I cut my hair on Monday. That seems to have helped a bit, even though it’s an extremely trivial and frivolous change to make.
I decided to let my partner help me. If he tells me things aren’t so bad, I’m going to try and believe him. When one’s depressed, it’s easy to shut one’s nearest and dearest out. Letting them back in can be the best thing you can do.
Getting exercise helps a lot, but it’s very hard to get up and get started.
What helped me was getting out of the house! For me, there was a direct correlation between feeling depressed and “trapped” inside. When I was out and about, I was too busy to feel depressed. I packed my days so full of stuff, including exercise, coffee houses, part-time jobs… what have you. All to keep myself from pondering, well… myself.
God, I wish it was that easy. If I’m depressed, I walk around like a zombie for a few days, avoiding human contact as much as possible because it just annoys me to have to talk to people, and I’m always afraid that I’ll lose patience and say things I regret. Inside, outside, doesn’t matter. If I exercise, then I end up depressed and sweaty. Chocolate? Tastes like ashes in my mouth, and I feel guilty afterward for pigging out.
After a couple of days, I snap out of it, and I never know why.
Well, I don’t want to get too much into it, but I’ve been practicing some cognitave thought processes that really seem to help. Basically, just looking at what I’m thinking and determining whether or not my reflexive thoughts are irrational thoughts.
There’s a book called, “Feeling Good” ((Yes, stupid title.)), by Burns that describes this process. If you’re interested.
All in all, listening to what you’re telling yourself about yourself is a good thing even if you’re not depressed.
The Zoloft also helps.
Let me take a moment to commend Tansu, one of the hardest things a depressed person has to do is to let someone else in, and then actually believe that person when they tell you something. When you figure out how to do that, then no matter what, you always know that one person that cares for you and thinks you’re great. Some people call this co-dependency. I call it having a strong and deeply emotional relationship.
Prozac doesn’t help. It just knocks you out for hours and you never get ot the root of your problems. Also you could get very dependent on it and it takes a long time to get off prozac.
I realised that if my partner was saying, “No, I don’t think you do deserve to suffer forever. I think other people make mistakes too,” and seeing as he isn’t usually completely full of shit then I might as well trust him on this.
I think I know what you’re talking about re reflexive thoughts and irrational thoughts. It might be time for me to look into this cognitive therapy lark. I understand that it doesn’t suit everyone; and it wouldn’t have suited me a few years ago, the last time I was depressed. I think it might be just the ticket now.
Podkayne:I know that getting out of the house is hard, and I’m quite used to avoiding people just out of the sheer shame of it all.
Acco40 I understand the rationale behind keeping busy with part time jobs. However, getting a job while depressed is unbelievably hard. God help me if I lose the one I’ve got.
I still stand by the healing power of a self induced haircut
Also, understand depression. I know it’s hard to get your ass out of bed (I’ve fought with depression for years) but once you understand that that is an effect of depression, it’s somewhat easier to overcome. I notice when I’m depressed, I don’t want to DO anything, even things I usually enjoy. Once I can say, “This is stupid, why not go play a computer game or something” then it is a big step in fighting the overall feeling. But I know that’s easier said than done in many cases.
freckles’ post must have got in while I was submitting mine.
Prozac doesn’t help everyone. It does help some people. It, and other selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors can be very helpful in providing a sufficiently non-self-destructive mental state in order to allow the depressed person to get to the root of their problems.
It can take a little while to get off SSRIs, but in my opinion, and in my experience it is possible.
I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. With fall here and winter not far off the days are becoming shorter and shorter and with that there is less and less sunlight. My mood as of late has been very poor and I am hoping this has more to do with sleep deprivation than the depression the S.A.D. causes.
I have to make sure I get outside as much as possible, get adequate sleep, and exercise. This all helps but without medication I am still prone to periods of extreme prolonged depression. Last winter I started taking Wellbutrin and that made a world of difference in my quality of life.
Another thing I am going to do is install some full spectrum lighting both at home and at work, one of my co-workers experiences similar symptoms and we agreed that installing better lighting at work might realy help us both.
If I don’t take care of myself during these periods I am not a very nice person to be around, I become someone else and I don’t like that peron very much at all. He’s irritable, mean, and has no patience with anything.
Freckles, are you speaking from personal experience, or second hand information? Reason I ask is I’m on the stuff, and haven’t felt as good in years as I do now! I went through 14 years of utter hell, feeling horrible and not knowing why. Then I went through 2 1/2 years of intense therapy, where I came out knowing the reasons behind feeling horrible, but still not feeling “normal”. Finally my therapist suggested I get an antidepressant and see if that helped. Prozac was the drug of choice, and it was amazing! Once it kicked in (it takes a few weeks before you notice the effect) I felt 100% better. I remember telling a friend “the last time I felt this good was when I was a kid.” (Interesting, since depresson often develops in adolescence.)
Anyway, I just wanted to say Prozac – when prescribed by a competant physician and the use of the drug monitored by same – is a blessing.
As for the depression suggestions, all the above are great, especially getting out of the house. Another one is taking a small vacation – the act of staying in a motel or hotel in a strange city perks me right up. Another, and the one I wish to stress, is getting the right medical help IF ITS NEEDED. And staying on your medication if you are already prescribed something.
Cite? I’ve never heard of anyone having a dependency on Prozac. I could be mistaken, but forgive me if I’m a little doubtful on this one.
Prozac does help a lot of people. So do other SSRIs and Dopamine effectors. So, I think a statement like “Prozac doesn’t help.” is a bit quick, and kind of irrational.
Sorry, I was only speaking from personal experience, a very good friend of mine took it when she was depressed (prescribed by a doctor). And after that she was worse, she did become dependant on it and it took her years to get off it. She has been off it now for nearly a year and she is much better.
Ever since then I have been anti-prozac, but I now understand it has helped some other people.
What do I do to help stop feeling depressed? Well, besides keeping in contact with my psychologist/psychiatrist and taking my medicine, I go to someone I love – specifically, Simetra. Whether I need to cry or vent about how I’m scared to death of always feeling this way or talk about something completely unrelated to being depressed, he’s always there for me. The wonderful thing is that we can talk to each other about everything – sad stuff, happy stuff, inane stuff, exciting stuff… Having someone in this world that I love more than anything and who loves me completely is what keeps me going on those dark days – in fact, it’s what keeps me going on the lighter ones, too.
I found myself in the position of trying to work myself out of my depression when I found that I was terribly, terribly allergic to Prozac. I managed to do it, and though I have my days when everything is bad, it’s nothing like what I lived with for years. This is what helped me:
[ul]
[li] Lots of showers. I love taking showers, and I started taking two or more a day. Nice long ones, where the water just washed over me and I didn’t have to think of anything.[/li]
[li] Laugh a lot. The last thing that I felt like doing was laughing, but I tried to do it as often as possible. Even if it was a fake laugh, I felt better afterwards. After I got in the habit of laughing, it became a little more genuine every day.[/li]
[li] Dress up a little every day. Every day, I would take time with my appearance, fixing up my hair, and picking my clothes carefully. I made a conscious effort to appear clean and neat. I also got up, took a shower, and got dressed right afterward, instead of lounging around in my PJs.[/li]
[li]Lists. It’s probably pretty dumb, but one of the things that helped me was making lists of why I was unhappy. It helped me put specifics on a general problem. That way, I could make more lists about what I could do to change each of the things that were making me sad. It helped me to stop feeling as powerless. There’s always another choice.[/li][/ul]
My sisters suffer from severe depression, too. One of them can’t remember pretty much anything that happened from the time she was about seven years old until she was about seventeen. It’s some form of disassociative identity disorder. She’s getting counseling, but she didn’t start to get better until she was put on antidepressants. Now the sister that I used to not even be able to be in the same room with is one of my best friends.
Her doctor has told her that it is very likely that she is one of those people who will have to take antidepressants for the rest of her life. I think that it would be great if she could get along without them, but it’s a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected.
One of the quotes that floats around inside my brain with no source attached to it is “action is the antidote to despair.” It’s quite true.
Showers are indeed good. Indoor plumbing is one of the best strides forward humanity has ever made.
Never laze about in bed. When you wake up, get up; getting into the habit of half-dozing off and on never leads to good things. Conversely, get in the habit of only getting in when you’re ready to fall asleep. Relaxation exercises can help with that. Bed is for sleep and sex, though probably the latter isn’t too prevalent in most deep depressions.
Exercise. It doesn’t need to be intense, just present on a day-to-day basis. Long walks are a very good thing; take as many different routes as relative neighborhood safeties allow. Take stairs instead of elevators. That sort of thing.
Definitely laugh. Make it a habit, and it can be a “fake it till you make it” deal.
When I get depressed, I don’t feel like doing ANYTHING. Even little things, like paying the bills or buying food or washing. I’ve found that if I develop a regular plan and stick to it when I’m feeling reasonably good, it provides some structure and I’m more likely to do things I need to. I clean the house and pay bills on Saturday mornings. I do laundry and buy groceries on Tuesday nights. Just saying “I need exercise” doesn’t do it, so I know that I go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday before work.
Lists.
I lose sleep worrying, so I try to make little lists of what needs to be done and when I’ll do it. As long as it’s on the list and I’m keeping up with the list, I don’t have to worry.
Regular exercise.
Laughing. I make it a point to watch something funny on TV or at the movies every once in a while, or get a good joke going with friends.
I’ve been emotional and depressed myself lately but probably more due to massive steroid use than clinical depression. But hey if it walks like a duck…
It doesn’t matter why just that I am. I’ve found it helpful to work on unfinished business, tie up loose ends, finally straighten up the spice drawers, etc. Buying something inexpensive and frivious can help too. I retouched my roots in a slightly blonder tone and bought one of those new “lipcoloring systems” where you put the color on and then regloss it as needed. That stuff really does stay on for at least 8 hours. Now if I only felt like kissing then I could see if it stays on thru lovemaking like they promise.
I guess it doesn’t matter what you do just as long as you get up and move or get your mental energies working.
One of the difficulties in regards to depression is that it can have various causes within the same person. I went the route of avoiding anti-depressants. I exercise strenously at least 5 out of 7 days of every week. I read Feeling Good, (and need to again), and I still couldn’t find anything in life that felt good or gave me any satisfaction.
I’ve read that the child of a suicide is much more likely to also commit suicide, so I felt as if there was no way out but to slog along until natural causes shuffled me off this mortal coil. Recently, I just got to the point where I was too tired to struggle anymore, so I went to the Doctor and got a prescription to Prozac. By the second day, I felt like a completely different person. It removed the obsessive anxiety that I lived with every waking moment for the past three years. And rather than knock me out or zombify me, it’s helped me feel somewhat hopeful about the possibility of tackling the roots of my depression. Prior to the drugs, I just felt doomed and stuck. I hope to get off of Prozac one day. But if I don’t, I can live with that.