Gay porn, basically.
(I know, the joke doesn’t really work if you’re not the first one to tackle the question, but I decided to give it a shot anyway.)
It could be actually, by the same definition Macy’s catalogs can be considered teen porn.
If I’d grown up in some sort of Etonian society where healthy competition and the cultivation of a sense of fair play were an important part of a developing man’s well-roundedness, balanced with studying languages to develop syntactic logic, learning to create art so as to develop observational skills and self-understanding, etc., etc., I might have learned to appreciate sports.
But I didn’t grow up in that world. I grew up in Wisconsin during the career of Vince Lombardi, when football was life and life was football, that is all
ye know on earth, and all ye need to know; because everything else is loser faggot bullshit. Every high school’s main function was to be a life-support system to its football team.
But I still had a competetive nature, but instead of finding it’s outlet on playing fields where I’d never be tolerated, it took the form of me holding in my heart this: “Fuck you sports. Even if you have all the power, you are still full of shit and I will never be convinced otherwise.”
Sports leagues? You must be daft! A league is a distance traveled undersea.
The disdain I have for this idea knows almost no bounds. It’s like talking to my most immature HS student, and that is quite an insult. It says much more to me about the fearfulness of the speaker than it does about his cleverness.
White guy in my 50s, and I absolutely hate sports. Always have, always will. There’s not a single one I find even remotely interesting, not a one. It could have a lot to do with my being such a gangly, dorky kid, dunno.
I’m willing to let sports fans have their fun, just don’t try to involve me. But what really puzzles me is how someone can root for a team they have no geographic connection with. I can understand rooting for your hometown team, but why would you slavishly follow a team in any sport that is located far, far away someplace you’ve never been? The wife is a big Man U, Man City or Liverpool fan (I can never remember which, but I’m pretty sure it’s one of those), and she’s never even set foot in England! Why?? 
Oh, it doesn’t make much sense. Following an individual isn’t so bad, as he/she has a distinct personality and history, which may be attractive. I realize that Seinfeld is right, and I am basically rooting for laundry with my purchase each year of the MLB website subscription so I can follow STL Cardinals. I mean, I find Albert Pujols to be a spectacular player and a heck of a guy, but if he played for the Cubs I’d just give him a polite nod.
I think people follow sports for the competition story, the strategies, the athleticism by proxy, and a big dollop of “my town is the best”. I know there’s some of all of that for me. The trick is to let it go when your team loses, as if it doesn’t prove anything, but really gloat when it wins, as if it proves something.
Of course, you all who think this is silly are almost certainly right. Please, go about your more rational lives.
I’m white, in my 50’s, married heterosexual man, and also have no interest in sports, never have. The problem starts when well meaning guys say things to me like, “Hey, did you see the big game last night?” I used to just respond by saying things like, “no, I missed that one”. Finally I just started telling people, “No, I just don’t like sports”. That usually catches them off guard, and many of them seem to take offense to that response. But, because of my telling people I don’t like sports, I have been asked “why not?”; if I was un-American, if I was a communist, and if I was gay. So there are definitely some pre conceived notions about men who don’t like sports, and I haven’t met too many other men that share these views. For this reason I tend to be “in the closet” about it to most people. 
Thailand is a nation divided between radical Man U and … Liverpool? fans.
Arsenal. Man U and Arsenal. I think. The whole friggin’ country.
Pretty much, though I enjoy soccer.
I never knew the closet could make one so cranky.
I love men who don’t like sports–I married one of 'em, and dated them almost exclusively before that. I find sports dull, and prefer to spend time with people who enjoy talking about music, movies, art, current events, history, science, you name it. Pretty much anything but sports.
I think the kind of man who doesn’t like sports is one who’s secure enough to not feel like he has to prove his masculinity by getting excited about chasing a ball or watching other people chase one.
Yes, everyone who says they aren’t gay is are in fact gay. Every man who touches another man in any context is secretly gay. You’re a true muckraker.
I tend to think that men who truly dislike all sports are either really, really not into physical activity or really uncompetitive. If you have even a moderate enjoyment of some kind of physical activity and something even approaching a typical level of male competitiveness, you’re going to like at least a few sports. That’s how I see it.
I’m not very competitive by nature, and I also dislike sports. I will play them, but that’s the extent as to my involvement. I’ve tried to like them, really I have, but it’s just like taking a 3 year old to church, my mind wanders and I get bored. My girlfriend really liked that I didn’t like sports, because one of her previous boyfriends made her a sports widow every weekend. And Monday nights. And when special games were one. I’m also a video gamer, but I always put it into moderation.
I tend to think that men who are really into sports participation, (unless they are professional athletes), or those who follow a sport fanatically, are trying to compensate for something lacking in their lives. That’s how I see it.
Some folks like video games, some folks like to collect objects, some folks like to keep track of certain statistics, some folks like to watch sports. Meh
The irony with sports is that there’s thems wot plays sports, and thems wot watches sports, with the two circles not overlapping that much.
When I was a kid, I followed baseball closely (the Pittsburgh Pirates in the Clemente era), and later boxing. There was an old-time ballplayer who lived just down the street, and talking with him kindled my interest in the history of baseball. As an adult, I read a lot about the history of both baseball and boxing. Since they were two of the three biggest sports in early 20th century America (along with horse racing), it is my opinion that these subjects will teach you a lot about the general history of the US.
Today, I have little to no interest in spectator sports. I may get a little interested in college football if my school gets into a bowl game, or MLB if the Pirates get into a pennant race (don’t laugh - that actually used to happen).
I’ve been a weightlifter and runner all my life (I’m 50), and I can’t understand getting excited about spectator sports without pursuing some sort of physical activity. It seems like a very poor substitute.
I think a big part of the appeal of spectator sports is the ability to identify with the players at some level. I “got” this as a kid. But the outcome of games became less important to me once I understood that the athletes were all paid professionals, and more importantly, weren’t really contributing anything. I will never forget an interview with Detroit Tiger Hall-of-Famer Al Kaline, in which he said proudly that his young son had asked him why he hadn’t done something important with his life, like be a doctor.
I have an elitist view towards music: I am more interested in the stuff that has lasted from a long time ago than in the current flavor-of-the-month being marketed by the music industry. This view is similar to how I feel about sports. Knowing about their history and impact on our nation is IMO a very interesting subject. But the outcome of last night’s contest between two billionaires’ stables of millionaires doesn’t really hold my interest.
And Shodan, I’m shocked: don’t you know that pro wrestling is the only sport that’s not fixed?!
‘Typical’ is a relative term. What you and I regard as ‘typical’ may differ.
If I am going to be competitive, I’m going to be competitive about something that actually matters and makes a difference.