My first name is Reese. I used to get jokes like, “hey! I love your peanut butter cups!”
Now I get: “I loved (insert Reese Witherspoon movie name here)”
Almost enough to make me miss the peanut butter cup jokes.
With me, it’s not my name, it’s my size. Being 6’5" and weighing in at approximately an eighth of a ton, I’m a pretty big guy. The jokes I tend to get are on the order of “How’s the weather up there?”, and lots of references to the Jolly Green Giant. One coworker used to joke that my mom had been abducted by Bigfoot. After I ripped his legs off, he stopped.
[sub]Okay, I didn’t rip his legs off. But I wanted to.[/sub]
My maiden name is Troester, not pronounced the German way (because my German grandfather figured no one in the US would ever say it correctly), but with a long “o” sound. So when I would introduce myself I frequently got, "Hey, did you know your name rhymes with “toaster”? Umm, no. I never noticed that in all the years I have been saying it. Thanks for pointing it out. Both of my sisters were called “toast” or “toaster” by their friends. Fortunately, my friends were smarter than theirs, so I didn’t get that.
My first name is Cathy. I sometimes get, “What’s that short for?” Nothing. My name is Cathy. “It can’t be. What is it, Catherine or Kathleen?” Cathy. Five letters. Deal with it. Why does it have to be short for anything? It was always the worst with a new teacher in school, who would insist that Cathy is only a nickname and I must actually have a longer name. I hate arguing with people who supposedly know things about me better than I do, especially when they just met me.
Since I live out west, I had never heard of a “Bob Evans” restaurant until I had to go to Kentucky for work a few years ago. Now it seems I can’t get away from it. Every few weeks I’ll introduce myself to someone, their face will light up, and they’ll exclaim, “Like the restaurant? Can I get some sausage?” Or words to that effect.
On the other hand, I was talking to my Lieutenant at Drill last weekend, with a new Private listening to the conversation. At one point, the Private figured out my first name, and he got that look, which I caught out of the corner of my eye. I turned to him, very quietly said, “Don’t go there”, and watched him choke it down. Have THAT with your sausage, buddy!!!
Another Cathy here 
Amazing how people insist that it can’t be your full name, isn’t it ?
When we meet people back in Australia, they say things like “You live in Japan? So you can speak Japanese? So can I! Suzuki, Mitsubishi, Yamaha…”
Hubby’s name is Yasushi, he used to get all the sushi jokes under the sun when we lived in Australia. That’s why he introduces himself as Yas now.
And I am VERY TIRED of being asked where in the US I’m from. Its almost like most Japanese people don’t realise there’s a plethora of other countries outside Japan.
The stupidest song in the world, “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt”, has my name in it so occasionally some idiot thinks it is funny to start singing that song after I introduce myself.
My name is Jacob - a name I’ve always hated anyway, but that song just makes it 10 times worse.
My name is pronounced the same as my user name (sans the 99, of course), so I definately am sick of “President Reagen” jokes. No I’m not named after him. And yes, it’s spelled that way. Which brings me to another point – when the name is right in front of you, don’t stick an extra ‘a’ in there. How can you misspell it when it’s right there for you?! It’s amazing to me the number of people that do this.
Pronounciation is another fun game. I know some people pronounce it “Ree-gun”. I do not. So often I get this little game going:
“Hi, I’m Ray-gun.”
“Ree-gun?”
“Ray-gun.”
“Ree-gu…” muffled scream as I throttle them
Though I was amused by the Chinese chemistry TA that tried to pronounce it like the word ‘reagent’.
The stupidest one was the kid in elementary who tried to rhyme it with ‘wagon’ and then called me “Wagon Wheel” as in the chocolate and marshmallow candy. First of all, it doesn’t rhyme, and even if it did, what the hell does that mean? That’s suppossed to rile me up?
Maybe I should just change my name to Joe.
My real name is one of those French ‘Jean-’ type names, but we were the only French family in my hometown, so I always got “Jean? How cum yuh gotta gurl’s name? huh-huh” from the idiots in my school (and I’m counting some teachers in that group).
Then when I went to college, it was “Captain Picard!” but since a) I like Star Trek, and b) everyone there could at least pronounce it properly, I didn’t mind that one.
Tsubaki, I guess Tokyo has enough non-American gaijin that most people ask “What country are you from?” rather than assuming I’m American. I am tired of “you speak Japanese so well!” after I just say one word, though. And yeah, I can use chopsticks, and eat rice, too.
Hahaha! Yep, I get the same thing too!
Bit of a hijack, but a funny anecdote…one time I went to the kindergarten to pick up my son. One of the kids walked up to me, looked at me for the longest time with a really serious and concerned look on her face, and solemnly said “Your eyes are blue.” As if it was a symptom of some kind of illness!
At least she didn’t repeatedly yell “Haro, haro, haro, haro” at me.
My name is Alfred. “Oh, like Alfred Hitchcock?!” <snerk, chortle>
puh-leaze…
My name is Anastasia. And no, I’ve absolutely never heard about the “Russian Princess” before. I mean, (while I used to work as a cashier), I only heard it a maximum of maybe six or seven times a day.
For this reason, I stopped using my real name when I worked for a while as a telephone research survey person for Statistics Canada. Plus, my last name is very unique. I’m definitely the only person in Canada, if not the world, with my name. In this job, the number of comments on my name was probably about twenty or thirty per shift. Yeah, really original…
Never mind that 99% of these idiots are completely ignorant of history, and what they know about the Grand Duchess is everything they learned from the animated film, that historically accurate docu-drama.
Well I worked for Universal (still do, but being in college I don’t think about it) and while I was there I worked with a lot of clever tourists. If any of you have kids who watch Sponge Bob Square Pants you’ll get this, but I had quite a few questions relating to my first name - Patrick. The worst was a guy asking me if I lived under a rock…
Also, being 6’5" I get asked ALL THE TIME whether I play basketball. Why the hell would I be working at Universal if I had a basketball career ahead of me.
And being a CS major I hear all kinds of computer jokes.
But being guilty of one, I have a friend named Scarlet and I couldn’t pass up being corny by saying “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” – I’m guilty I admit it.
My first name is the same as a brand of shoes, a slang term for a leafy drug and a brand of candy.
Spelled differently, but sounding the same. And yes, I’ve heard them all before, especially, “yeah, I smoked you!!”.
Funny, that’s the first time I’ve heard them…
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Today.
Ah yes, my other curse. I’m 6’6" so I know of what you speak. I realize I am taller than the vast majority of people but 6’6" is hardly an automatic entry into the NBA.
My dad will often ask me to do something for him that needs height by prefacing it with “You’re taller than me…” Really? I didn’t notice. So that’s why I can see the top of your head! I thought I was levitating! In other words, just ask me what you want me to do.
My last name is Ready.
By far the most popular phrase that people just cannot hold back the moment they hear my name is, “har har…Are you Ready???” Wow I tell them, i wonder why no one has ever thought of that before.
I recently got married and adopted 5 children…and they all took my last name…i warned them…but they all love me…so they accept a life long of hearing that stupid oh so clever question.
When I was in elementary school this janitor heard my last name and he said, “Ready huh? The girls must love you! HAR HAR HAR!” I have never forgotten that one…maybe because i didn’t really get it when i was that young…in any case, at least it was original…
oh and whenever someone reads my name in print, they insist on pronouncing it “Reeedy”…i have no idea why.
When it comes out that I attended an elite college, given my current job “What are you doing here?” 
And about my being a bookkeeper “Numbers? Oh I can’t even balance my checkbook.” Trust me, what I do isn’t very difficult.
My RL nickname is Gwen so “Do you have a pen Gwen?” is always good for a chuckle. Nope, and no polar bears either.
First name: Wendy. I have yet to be around people who have outgrown the urge to ask, “So how’s Dave?” (when he was alive) and “Sorry that Dave died,” etc. Or the evergreen observation that I must make good burgers.
Last name (maiden): Dix. I’ll let you fill in the rest.
Last name (married): Akers. Like Green Acres! Har har! A vast improvement over Dix, but still.
For those asked if they play basketball, a friend of mine had the ultimate reponse:
They: “You’re tall. Do you play basketball?”
Him: “You’re short. Do you play miniature golf?”
I’m 6’3" but because of my general size I never get the basketball question. I get, “do you play football?” instead.