I’m getting ready for NaNoWriMo and this year I’ve decided to write a sequel to the Qu’ran. Since I’m in effect playing Allah, I can make whatever laws I so choose.
If you were God/Allah/G-d/Whatever, what laws would you add that haven’t been listed in religious tomes so far? (Let’s not make this a debate/witnessing thread please).
The very first thing I would add would go at the beginning:
“The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real people, living or deceased, is coincidental.”
Rule 42: There is no Rule 42.
Rule 43: No, seriously, there is no Rule 42. And the same goes for Rule 43.
Rule 44: Never take yourself too seriously.
“Don’t be a jerk”
Somebody had to say it.
Hang up and drive.
The turn signal is there for a reason.
Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy hot dog.
Can we take away rules? 
No? Then I’ll propose a few.
“Don’t be a jerk” is up there at the top, certainly, but I’d also like to add something to the effect that “Your personal preferences are not natural law”. In other words, just because you think something is icky doesn’t mean it should be banned.
Let’s see… “All social relations between consenting adults should be allowed”. This has corollaries; “no means no” is not the least of them.
“Humanity is not separate from the universe.” We have to live with the consequences of what we do. If we toss cigarette butts, we have to clean up the litter, which could be as simple as picking it up, as draconian as outlawing and destroying all cigarettes, or as techno as designing biodegradable butts that will rot and fertilize the soil there they lay.
Thios also means that we don’t get to lord it over the rest of the wqrld and suffer no consequences for it.
We could add the old Pagan proverb: “all acts of love and pleasure are acts of worship”.
Women are the equals of men before Allah, it is an offense unto his eyes to refuse them any opportunity a man may have. Allah will accept no pretext for beating or disrespecting a woman for behavior that would not also earn a beating or disrespect for a man, Her wrath will be mighty when he reaches the after life.
And on the sixth night, thy shall watch hockey and consume of the barley malt.
Thou shalt immediately move thy vehicle into the right lane if thou dost wish to drive under the speed limit.
So, you’d need a variant version of the holy book for Britain, Japan, Australia, etc.
Nah, the book can just tell them to drive on the right, the way God intended.
Nah, let’s keep it in and see how others “interpret” it.
If driving on the right was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for Brit-land.
Hey, that’s another law right there!
“Go forth and be excellent unto each other.”
Think.
Thou shall not refer to bison as “buffalo”, nor vice versa, and as for he calls an alligator a “crocodile”, surely for him a great chastisement is in store.
(Just out of curiosity, since the Qu’ran is not a narrative, how will a sequel to it be novel?)
(You have to admit, it’s a novel idea.)
Thou shalt turn on your headlights at sunset, before it’s actually dark.
nm, mispost
Thou shalt wash thy hands every time thou hast used the bathroom, or else there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.