“Dirty” has a negative connotation when used in any way. It can be used interchangeably with slut, tramp, loose, etc. I don’t agree with calling women these things, but I am not society. I think the proper term for a taboo-breaking woman in a positive light is “a freak”.
Women, by and large, are passive when it comes to sex. I surmise it has everything to do with society repressing female sexuality. So sex becomes:
man - “let’s do this sex act”
woman - (hesitates)… I don’t know
man - “come on”
woman - (begrudgingly accepts)
A woman is a freak (or dirty in a good way) when sex is this:
woman - “let’s do this sex act”
man - (gasps)… “I love you”
The definition does not turn on a specific sex act, although certain taboo sex acts can aid in freakiness. It has everything to do with the woman being the instigator and having no hangups about how she will be perceived. Instigation is not essential to being a freak, but a woman is a freak if she is the one getting things going.
A second use for dirty in a good way applies to women who fit the “girl next door” image of society and then end up enjoying sex. The classic hair style, non-revealing clothing, non-sexual speech, church-going types. Their appearance suggests they are conservative in nature and vanilla in bed. This expectation becomes an anchor of sorts in the minds of men, so any deviation from it makes them “dirty”. My guess is it is Oedipal in nature. It is also a conquest fantasy of sorts for men to see a girl next door type go crazy in bed.
Personally, the “dirty in a good way” type of ladies that I most appreciate are those who have the appearance and demeanor of your typical “skanky ho”, but who are, in fact, pretentious, high maintenance and profoundly frigid—but, I think I speak for most men in this regard.
No, contrary to popular belief, all men want the appearance of impropriety, but the heart of innocence when it comes to sexual matters. We are, after all, simply trying to measure up to the high standards taught to us by our mothers. Now, you women, on the other hand…well, we need not open that wriggling can of worms right now…
No one here is suggesting being “straight-laced and by-the book” whatever that means…although “laced” sounds a little fun. Instead of dirty and slutty and other words with obviously negative connotations – that’s why you have to add on “in a good way” – why not use words to describe sex like wild and uninhibited?
Don’t go back to the stupid idea that uninhibited sex means that a woman is acting like a whore or a slut. What is the male equivalent for whore or slut? What word(s) puts a man down in the same way?
Crazy-wild sex is the most natural thing in the world when consenting adults are involved. There’s nothing nasty about it. Learn to love your body and your partner’s.