What makes a "World Record" worth noting?

In My Humble Opinion
1

On Good Morning, America today, they’re standing ever vigilant to help record a momentous occassion. Some guy has been put into a glass tank and will stay there for…TWENTYFOUR HOURS!!!
Ummm…is it just me, or is this really fucking dumb? I mean, it looks like one of those tanks escape artists put themselves in when they’re going to be put into a glass case of water and fight their way out of a straight jacket in under two minutes. Only, this guy’s not getting out of a straight jacket. He’s just going to hang out there for a full day. And this warrants international live coverage?

What the fuck is wrong with people? With everything there is to do in this day and age, this counts for “entertainment”? Kicking a can around with some friends is more entertaining than this. And is this really something worth noting and writing down in the history books as a “Wolrd Record?” I remember when the shit in the Guinnes book of World Records was impressive stuff, like fastest man, or tallest woman, or something that seemed to record the great feats of humanity. Now, it seems anything can be considered noteworthy. I saw a recent episode of their show and the two things I remember are the worlds record for Most Clothespins attatched to a person’s face, and the Most Number of Bowls Flipped onto One’s Head while Balancing on a Unicycle.

What the Fuck?

2

I see nothing wrong with these records.

Rexnervous: currently working on the world record for longest consecutive length of time in a fish tank with clothespins attached to his face.

3

Did they actually say it would go in the Guinness Book? I heard they’re pretty choosy about what gets recorded, for pretty much the reasons you gave: people find meaningless crap that nobody feels like doing, and does it for an entire day. Instant record.

Just an aside: one of my TAs in college was listed in the Guinness Book for longest grape catch (1986 edition, IIRC), until it was revealed that his claim was a hoax.

4

Elvis,
Are you and your friends setting the world record for kicking a can around? What is the old one?

5

Judging from the TV show they are anything but choosy.

6

Longest mustache or fingernails: freaky (although it does take commitment).

Longest time on a merry-go-round (with officially allowed periodic rest/meal periods): stupid.

I don’t get it. Are people that starved for recognition?

Is this what Andy Warhol was talking about?

7

If I remember the TV show much, I think they’ll show whatever gives them an excuse to show a scantily-clad woman in the commercials. Or maybe that was Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. Probably both.

8

It isn’t you, it’s dumb. Well, maybe ignorant is closer the mark.

As posters have been pointing out, there may not be much more to a “media record” than an opportunity to make a 90 second TV spot.

The concept of World Record seems like a sports metaphor that’s been inappropriately applied to the rest of human activity. Win a race: no problem: get there quickest, that’s all there is to it.

Anything else in life that’s not restricted by man-made rules? What scientist produced a patent the quickest? Does it make a difference?

But there’s a deeper bullshit to the “world record” awards, which is that even if some X did Y fastest, what other compromises did they make? What if it cost a fortune to do it? What if the results were never used? What if his/her SO left them on account of their inability to balance life with their obsession?

“World records” seem like an oversimplification for people who’d like to reduce life’s accomplishments to black-and-white evaluation.

9

If we’re talking anything that occurs naturally…biggest island, longest river, tallest/shortest person, etc…pretty much anything goes. There’s nothing “illegitimate” about these records, simply because they’re just that, records, not achievements or accomplishments.

For records that are supposed to be achievements, my rule of thumb is that it should require some ability or skill. Examples:

Biggest souffle, biggest patchwork quilt, tallest building: All these require skills, not to mention plenty of organization (one chef isn’t going to make a record souffle).

Most one-handed push-ups in one minute, most hot dogs eaten in one minute, longest watermelon seed spit: Unusual physical accomplishments, but physical accomplishments nonetheless.

Longest-running play/TV program/radio program: It takes plenty of creative talent to have so much lasting appeal, especially throughout changing times.

Most points in a game, most goals in a game, most rushing yards in a season, most playoff appearances, most wins as Grandmaster: All part of competitions with clearly defined rules, each requiring a special set of skills. Even games which don’t require physical ability (e.g. chess, poker) require mental and/or psychological skills.

But there’s no way in hell some dope in a glass tank just lying there deserves any recognition. No way, nohow. Same deal with clothespins attached to the face…I mean, pain threshold (or face size, for that matter) is far too marginal to warrant a record. (I’d really like to see whoever attempted to flip bowls on the head while riding a unicycle. It just sounds like one of those crazy stunts that’s fun to watch, record or no.)

A few records that meet my criteria but I find invalid nonetheless:

  • Women’s records for activities that don’t require things like upper-body strength or red corpuscles…pool, chess, poker, etc.
  • Youngest something-a-child-has-absolutely-no-freaking-business-doing. (Not a laughing matter; a 7-year-old pilot got killed trying to set one of these records.)
  • Most college football championships won under either 1) moronic, unfair, horribly biased polls or 2) moronic, unfair, horribly biased BCS.
  • Anything sport that’s decided by a bunch of suits writing numbers on a piece of paper.
  • Anything in sport with competitors that have more than two legs or wings (this includes hunting).
10

Long fingernails were once a status symbols in certain cultures, simply saying “I am rich, I have no need to work in any manual way, and I prove this by the impractical growth of my fingernails”

Must be hell to wipe after a visit to the toilet though. Unless the servants do that too. :wink:

11

Where did you glean that from?

12

Seen it on TV. So it must be true. :wink:

13

Actually, if it’s the guy I saw on TV last night, it was kind of impressive (Chris Angel? Engel?). It wasn’t just sitting in a plastic box, it was sitting in a plastic box filled with water and breathing through a tube for 24 hours. I know I couldn’t do that.

So, should underwater endurance be an recognized record?