Ryan_Liam, where have you been? I have been wondering about you. You are fine, really. Everything in its own time – you will see!
flybynight said:
If I could change one thing about my life it would be to find that part of myself at an early age and keep to that lifestyle forever. Beginning with my twenties, I have had some goal to accomplish during each decade. In july I will turn sixty. I hereby resolve to become more like the person you describe. I should have given up security for freedom a long time ago. I will call it my “call the dog and put out the fire” attitude…always ready to move on to something new.
Sometime within the last ten years I have developed a slight case of agoraphobia – so this should be very good for me. Thanks for describing it so well! I wish I knew what was trapping you. Do you want to talk about it? I think we can unless Hillbilly Queen raps my knuckles.
I envy women who can sing soprano like birds and people who can travel light and spontaneously.
May I hijack this long enough to say that it helps to make out a list of every thing you want to do or accomplish – things you want to own – qualities you wish to possess – places you want to go. Print it out in a nice font and put it some place where you can find it quickly. Enjoy checking those off for the rest of your life! You will probably amaze yourself.
I’m envious of people like my partner, who manage to go through life always thinking of others and being able to always see the good in people where others can’t. Being able to do this without turning it into a co-dependancy is a beautiful trait.
look like a million bucks every time I see them, even if they’re not dressed up
have parents with enough money to spoil them (when my parents spend ANY amount of money on me I feel guilty)
have that certain “something” (class? poise?) that makes people admire them
can travel to anyplace in the world without fear of getting robbed or raped or killed… especially women who do this alone, I would NEVER be brave enough to do that
have the money to take nice vacations
This sounds like a lot, but I’m actually pretty content with my life right now! I’m only 21 though, so I figure I have lots of time to improve.
At 63 I just want my youth, health and looks back. That would take me back to the time when the worst STD you could probably get was easily cured gonorrhea.
And I loved bars before my cirrhosis.(Well,I still yearn for them.)
Don’t buy into the"I love being older because I just don’t care what people think anymore" crap. That’s just rationalization.
Ahhh, there was nothing like going into a bar and leaving with the bartender to go to her place when her shift was over. Or having a girl (yes,girl) come over to your barstool and ask if you’d like to go to her place where she had some coke and smoke.
I’m talking about strangers. Oh, the anticipation! I didn’t think of it as conquest. Just happily giving in.
I love my SO, but oh you ex-kids!
Uh, I’ll admit it. I envy people who have a lot of money. Not the people who worked hard for it- I feel like they deserved it, and this makes the world a more just and promising place for me.
But I envy the people who have a lot of money and:
Had it just given to them. This includes people who were born into money, people who win the lottery, and people who don’t work very hard at all but because of their social status or connections have managed to accrue a large chunk of wealth.
Are frivolous. While I know it’s their money and none of my damn business, I can’t help but feel a trifle jealous when I hear about the millionaire who’s adding yet another car to his collection. Not because I care about cars, but because it bugs me to see people who must be ostentatious about their wealth. This may have to do with my upbringing- though we were, I guess, upper-middle-class, I was always taught not to flaunt anything, especially how much you own. It seems somehow tacky.
Made it in a way I consider to be “wrong”. Like huge corporate executives making a fortune by running third-world sweatshops, people suing large corporations for petty things, Colombian drug barons, illegal arms-dealers, despotic tyrants, Mafia-types, etc.
Made it in a way I feel to be indicative of Everything That’s Wrong With Society Today™. For instance, it pisses me off no end that Jennifer Lopez has more money than god while research scientists are schlepping by at under 30 a year. That most homeless shelters, free clinics, youth activity centers, counselling centers, and animal shelters are chronically underfunded and depend on volunteers and donations while basketball players can afford to live like 17th century French monarchs.
People who can walk in high heels. I have to wear a pair of clogs with 4" heels as part of a satyr costume for an event in a couple weeks, and my toes are killing me from practicing.
Oh, I think it’s just that whole “american dream” thing gettting in my way - I moved to a town I don’t particularly like for a job. The job pays me quite well, especially for my age. But it certainly isn’t something I love or even particularly enjoy most of the time. Whereas I just can’t seem to justify giving it all up for what might be “pipe dreams”… I’m working on something of a compromise now, moving someplace I actually want to be, back with friends, etc - although I’ll probably have a similar job there. But even so, I’m waiting until I have a job there before doing anything, as opposed to saying, “Hell with it! I’m going to do what I want, things will work out somehow!” I feel I must be responsible and have a secure, safe job at all times - even though I have no children, am single, etc - I guess that’s why I feel trapped
