This is a good thread, Idle Thoughts. I liked your last one too: “Would You Date Me?” It taught me some interesting things about the way people think. Anyhow, some answers for you:
Does Money make a difference on who you choose to be in a relationship with?:
Yes. Money is important. I like money. Being poor can put a terrible strain on a relationship, in my opinion. How you have your money is immaterial to me, though.
**Does Looks?: ** Yes, looks matter. I like handsome men. Naturally handsome, not too vain. Vain is my department.
Does Height?: Yes, height matters. I’m on the tall side, and I like a guy to be taller than I by at least an inch or two.
Does Intelligence?: Yes. I don’t mind if my boyfriend is smarter than I (which he most definitely is!). I like learning stuff. Conversely, I teach him patience and tolerace for wacky adventures, harebrained schemes and wildly fluctuating moods… he often tells me he feels like he’s dating Lucy Ricardo.
**Does Common sense?: ** Oh, baby, common sense is a big one. So much pain can be avoided or resolved by common sense.
Does Religion?: Yes. I have found that things go much more smoothly, at least in my experience, when my boyfriend is the same religion. My boyfriend is the same religion as I. I don’t care if he goes to church: I go, he doesn’t, and we’re cool with that. However, because we are the same religion, the two of us, in our case, share a lot of cultural aspects.
Does Race?: Yes. I’m more comfortable with someone of my own race in a relationship.
Does Gender?: Maybe. Sometimes I think if my boyfriend and I broke things off and I found a really wonderful woman I migh consider a long-term relationship, but right now it’s kind of a moot point.
Does Employment?: No, I don’t care. Work or not, just so you have a means of support. I think it would be depressing, though, to see a physically and mentally hale and healthy guy (who has money) lie around the house all day not doing anything. It might get to me if he didn’t want to do stuff with me. But there are circumstances where people who may seem physically able to get up and “do something” are NOT able to do so at all. That’s a vastly different story, and deserves, in my opinion, patience and compassion.
Does Job Type?: Not really. I don’t care if you work loading boxes at Walmart or as a Day Trader (both of which my boyfriend has done).
Does Body size (Weight)?: Yes, that matters. I like tall guys, broad shoulders, some muscles. I wouldn’t date a heavy guy. I have a terrible fear of me ever being fat, so it follows that I wouldn’t want to have to worry about it with my boyfriend.
Does Education?: Sort of, not too much. I’d like a guy to have decent secondary school, some college, doesn’t need to have necessarily graduated, as long as he’s similar to me culturally.
Does Family? (as in, does it matter if your family or their family doesn’t like you or them or what not?): Yes. I genuinely love it when we all get along. My family really likes my boyfriend. My boyfriend’s sons are a bit inscrutable when it comes to their feelings for me. They’re all grown and live pretty far away, so we don’t see them too much. I like them, though, and wish they kept in better contact.
Does Age?: Not really, as long as the man has kept his hair, physique, and teeth. Eighty and upward would be pushing it, though.
Does Nice eyes?: Yes. I am a sucker for good eyes. Dark eyes for sure.
Does Taste in Animals?: Yes. The man must love the felines. He must understand that all felines are premium animals.
Does Having a Car?: Yes. A car is to me is now a necessity, but I guess we wouldn’t need two if money was tight. As long as one of us had one we could probably manage. I hate driving anyway.
Does Taste in Music?: Yes. I really don’t like much music at all; the noise really bothers me. My boyfriend is the same way. I think if he liked music and played something like classic rock or blues and played it a lot I might have to hit his toes with a hammer. For what it’s worth, on the rare occasions when we do play music, our tastes are pretty similar.
Does Distance?: Yes. I’ve tried four long-distance relationships and they all ended unpleasantly. No more long-distance relationships.
Does Disablity?: Physical disability, probably, although if something happened to my boyfriend after we’d begun dating, I’d really try to adapt. Mental disability: no. My boyfriend and I met in a psychiatric hospital; we were both patients. He has profound depressive episodes, has tried to kill himself, and been hospitalized several times. Luckily, he has the personal means that allow him to live a fairly productive life and “hide” when he needs to. We’ve been through some interesting times and seen some pretty weird stuff, so mental disabilty I think I could handle.
Does Humor?: Absolutely, my dear. If you can’t laugh, you’ll cry. Gotta have a guy who laughs!
Does Romanticism?: No, not really. I’m not terribly romantic and neither is my boyfriend. We like our respective space. We aren’t demonstrative. We do the old “He Reads His Paper At the Breakfast Table While I Look at Department Store Ads” thing. I also buy my own flowers, jewelry, cologne, etc. We mostly go Dutch when we go out. I like it better that way… I don’t feel as dependent or something. Also when you buy your own stuff, you get exactly what you want and you don’t have to pretend to like it when it’s *so * not what you wanted!
))