What Michael Jackson might have looked like.

I appreciate your observation. The thing that struck me was that the guy in the age progression simulation really does resemble Michael Jackson. The other thing is that if he looked anything like that he would be a handsome, gracefully aging person not some freak. A guy like that could still pack the house and be loved and admired.

Have you seen the supplementary disk to the movie “Ray”, (the tribute concert)? Al Greene’s performance was an absolute knockout! There’s a super talented guy that aged gracefully and can still make you move out of your seat. MJ could have been that but even better.

It is sad.

But…but I’ve got, like, 200 liters of water from the Fountain of Youth that I was going to distribute to the non-asshole Dopers! And I had to murder half the Justice League to get it!

Of course, I was going todo that anyway. But still!

I feel the same way. I don’t laugh at Michael Jackson jokes, cause I think what’s happened to him (by his own hand, mostly) is completely tragic.

I think he’s an example of a genius who is also a complete nutcase. His personal issues aside, the man is a brilliant performer. Or was, in his heyday. There was and never will be anyone quite like him. I don’t know if I feel sorry for him, quite; he gives me the heebie-jeebies a little too much for that. Maybe I pity him more than anything else.

Jacko is more to be pitied than scorned, all in all, at least as regards his appearance. His dad is kinda scary looking, too, I see from your link.

That speculative pic looks a little like Johnny Mathis, to my eyes.

And where’s the “Quick Reply” window?

I go back and forth on this. I think my natural inclination is to feel this way, but by all accounts he’s abbrasively eccentric, rude as hell to adults, and probably touches children in inappropirate ways.

Plus, some of the jokes are just funny:

What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson . . . fucks little boys.

Helen Mirren will always be fine, but I’m sure she’s had some work done somewhere. They all do.

Well, that’s stupid. When Oprah did that “very special” interview (that debunked a lot of stuff like the “iron lung/oxygen tent” urban legend), she asked him about platic surgery and his answer was more along the lines of: “Of course, I’ve had plastic surgery. Look at everyone in Hollywood. Who hasn’t had some work done?” Then he went on quite at length saying his dad had always called him ugly and he’d never been happy when he looked in a mirror.

So if he’s now gonig on record trying to minimize/deny the work he’s done, it makes him look (even more) like an ass.

I think that interview was in the 1990s, long before Bashir and the molestation charges. And to Oprah’s credit, she asked him some pretty ballsy questions, like “Have you ever slept with a woman?”

Allow me…

What does Jacko like about twenty-eight-year-olds?

That there are twenty of them.

Why didn’t Lisa Marie and Michael stay together?

She was more the quiet, stay-at-home type… and he was more the freakish homosexual child molester [courtesy of Norm McDonald].