What mispronunciations/grammatical errors drive you absolutely batty?

They must’ve been lead astray by Goscinny and Uderzo’s comic strip.

Let me preface this by mentioning that I have very little formal grammar education (did you know they no longer teach grammar in grammar school?) Granted, I do consider myself to have an above average knowledge of grammar, but that comes mostly from three years of latin, and two very good high school English teachers who, because grammar school no longer teaches grammar, had to teach us as much grammar as possible before we went to college. And, since I went to a very technical school, I didn’t take any more English classes, save for one literary class. And even then, I probably had better grammar than 90% of the students there!

But anyway…yeah, don’t see what’s wrong with that. Enlighten me, please.

(a) That explains a lot of what’s going on in this thread.

(b) Took me a while, too. But I figured it out: I’ve only placed one call. So to handle my call “in the order in which it was received” doesn’t make sense – I should be at the top of a list of one, according to that phrasing. A better way would be: “all calls are handled in the order in which they are received.”

I have an irrational snobbery, which makes me wince every time I hear the English market town Shrewsbury pronounced as shrews-bree rather than shrows-bree. Anyone saying that is automatically marked down as coming from a secondary modern.

And, of course, the Frenchification of Beijing stands as a continuous reminder that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and that, whatever you’re lacking, you should never overcompensate.

“An istoric occasion” instead of “A historic occasion”

Thankfully, that’s been fading away little by little.

“And I’m like, all excited and stuff!” And you’re like, all moronic and stuff.

“literally” makes me literally grind my teeth. Even when it’s used correctly.

My mom used to bug me when she told me she was being facetious. I thought she was making up a silly word just to torment me. Now I use it all the time too.

Quotation marks. Not only because people “think” they’re “supposed” to be used for “emphasis”, but because I still don’t know how to use them right. Enclosing periods inside the 2nd mark? That just looks weird.

Ex: She said “Go away.”

What’s wrong with: She said “Go away”.

And how the fuck was I supposed to punctuate that previous sentence?
— What’s wrong with “She said, ‘Go away.’?”
Is that right? I have no idea. Do a few stray jots really make a difference? aaaaaagh

I’m sorry if mine’s already been mentioned, but I had to read this thread in bits and pieces with frequent breaks to gnash my teeth and tear my hair.

“Everyday” instead of “every day”

It was an everyday occurrence. Right.
It occurred everyday. WRONG!

I can’t believe I forgot to tell you folks about my the man my sister works with. I’ll call him Bob, since that’s his name. Bob, bless his boots, cannot get words right. At all. We love him anyway, and he is an endless source of hilarity. Perhaps his best ever was when he told her about his little granddaughter, who was three at the time.

She was terribly sick with ESP, and was in the needle-needle unit. In fact, she was in so much pain that they had to seduce her twenty-four hours a day.

I swear to you on my Chicago Manual of Style that I am not making it up.

(If you’re having trouble with translation, that’s “RSV,” “neo-natal,” and “sedate.”)

It bothers me that “OFF-ten” and “HAIR-&s” are not unnacceptable pronunciations of “often” and “harass.” Don’t pronounce them that way around me, though.

I’m always annoyed by the misuse of “affect” versus “effect.”

I’ve given up on people knowing the correct conjugation of “lay” versus “lie.” You laid down? Suit yourself.

I’m usually just amused by the misuse of “literally,” but it really grates on me when done by someone who MUST know better (“Lily, the caretaker’s daughter, was literally run off her feet.” - James Joyce, “The Dead”). WTF??

Now, punctuation is a bit tricky because it all depends on which style guide you feel like following that moment… or not, YMMV.

Chicago Manual of Style would punctuate the above sentence as follows: She said “Go away”.
Associated Press would recommend: She said, “Go away.”

:: shrugs ::

I don’t really have any punctuation peeves because everything is so debatable. My rule of thumb: when in doubt, you probably don’t need another comma.

Had went.

Had drank.

Had ate.
Also using “predjudice” as an adjective: “He’s just predjudice.”

Certain uses of “in-depth,” especially if it is spelled as one word. “We need to be more indepth in this report.”

One of my big ones is “punkin”. It’s “pumpkin” damn it.

Using “that” when “who” is appropriate. I hear it on the news all the time. “There are many mothers that feel the law is unfair …” :mad:

It should be, “Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.”

Your call will be answered.
How will it be answered?
It will be answered in order.
Which order? (or, What order?)
The order in which it was received.

It seems to me that more and more people use the unreal conditional with an “if clause,” as in “If I would have known, …” instead of “If I’d known, …” It doesn’t really drive me batty, but it does irk me a little.

Now I’m lost. In no way shape or form should “awk” and “orc” be pronounced the same way. R != W. Take the cotton out of your ears; there is a distinction.

We have people here that call it an “asterick”. :smack:

Definately.

And how exactly is anyone who lives outside Shropshire (Salop!) or who went to anything below a grammar school supposed to know that the E is pronounced as an O?? I went to a grammar school and I - naively, I suppose - say it as it is spelt.

What do you call that small, mouse-like rodent? A “shrow”???

Anyway, I always thought that locals called it “Shooosbry” - with no R.

It’s not CER-EH-BALL palsy. It’s CER-REE-BRAL. Say it with me. CER-REE-BRAL.

I’ve lived in Georgia myself. I don’t think you understand. The city of Albany down here is pronounced

“All Bennie”

(accent equally distributed)

Not

“All Bunny”

(accent on the "all)