I’m stuck in a rut on many levels right now. I can’t seem to be productive or make forward progress.
I’m a middle aged (43) musician who’s taken on a new genre and I’ve started taking lessons again. Yet I never practice.
I’m 40 lbs over weight but I can’t get myself to the gym more than twice a week or stick to any kind of diet.
I have a job where most of my day is down time. I’m computer support for a very small office which means that I spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. This time, which I could use studying or reading or learning I usually spend playing solitaire and reading the SDMB.
I need a swift kick in the ass but I seemed to be consumed by inertia and apathy.
So. Anyone else ever feel this way? How did you get out of it? What motivates you to achieve your goals?
I’m with you, on quite a few levels.
I’m a musician as well, and I actually practice quite frequently.
Yet anything else - housework, yardwork, administrative business work (I own my own managemet/concert promotion company) takes such a supreme effort of will that I often don’t get around to it, and find other, more ‘exciting’ things to do - usually practice, or futz on the computer.
I find that exercise helps, and I actually love the feelings I get when I’m working out regularly, but it’s really easy for me to slip into a non-motivated-can’t-get-started mode. So consequently I’m also about 25 pounds overweight and far more unhealthy than I should be.
You wouldn’t happen to have taken your doper name from your old band name, would you? I used to know a cat back in Baltimore who could be you, from your decription. The band of course, was Velvet Jones, and the guy I’m thinking of was the lead singer. We used to hang out quite a bit, and shared a lot of shows together.
Yes, my old band name was Velvet Jones but no, we were in Florida, not Baltimore (and we weren’t the only Velvet Jones in Central Florida I later found out) Also, I’m female.
I’m transitioning from being a Blues/Rock singer to singing classic jazz. I’m having lost of fun with it and I really am improving but learning to improvise/scat sing has inspired me to find a teacher. Now all I need to do is practice more.
Yes, I feel loads better when I don’t drink so much and go to the gym more but that in itself doesn’t inspire me to do either of those things.
Can’t help you with the other bits, but regarding exercise, I find getting into a routine helps. If you’re going to get stuck in a rut, might as well let it work for you.
Seriously, I just make a point of not even letting my ass hit the couch when I get home. I drink a glass of water, warm up and go for a run. If I sit down, it’s over. If I go to a gym, then I go straight to the gym after work. Since I go on autopilot a lot, oftentimes I’ll find myself in gym clothes and warming up even before I realize my work day is over. Interrupting the routine in any way always winds up with me skipping the workout, so I don’t even give myself the option.
I understand revenge. I got into the best physical shape of my life when I was unceremoniously dumped once. I just wanted to make him regret leaving me.
I’m not sure it worked but I did enjoy having such a nice bod for a while. Ah, to be young again.
Yeah, I totally get this way too. Part of my solution is scheduled activites. For instance, I joined a sports team. Now I have to show up to work out or the other people are pissed at me. And I enjoy it so it makes me want to do more so I get better at it. I really want to learn Japanese but I study really haphazardly. So I started taking classes at my local community college after work. Now I have to study and I have people to practice with.
Maybe your music instructor could give you set goals to work on so you feel like you have to practice. I keep wanting to take accordian lessons 'cause I have the accordian and a beginner book yet I never seem to practice. (accordians are heavy) Think about joining a sports team or a running training class or attending a regular spin class. Or set a goal of something like eating two servings of vegetables a day for a month. Don’t change anything else, just do that and you’ll probably develop a taste for them and be more motivated to eat healthy foods.
I know when I get really “blah” about doing anything, it usually means I’m kinda mildly depressed and I also avoid hanging out with friends. So I also start forcing myself to hang out with people and to accept invitations and that also motivates me to get in shape, etc. Anyway, maybe something in the thread’ll stike a chord. Good luck.
I have actually tried to rationalize myself out of the guilt of not being motivated ; e.g., I figure I already spend nine hours a day doing something I’m compelled t; do for survival (work, of course), why spend yet another of my precious waking hours doing something else I don’t like (exercise)? But seriously, I know that walking or some other routine with another person would help motivate me but I don’t take the chance, because then I’m committed and that feels like being trapped.
I’m seeing a nutritionist now, though, for a manageable food plan and what is motivating me there is the food diary I am keeping. I am completely honest in it so there is some element of not wanting to write down “pint of ice cream” that keeps me on the right track.
I try to be motivated by the longer term consequences of my short-term actions (eating junk today will keep my weight up and lead to diabetes later and I certainly don’t want that, flossing today will head off surgery for gum disease later) but I just don’t see past having to do these crappy routines every day that I hate.
So you want motivation to be a better musucian ? Do what I did a long time ago: Quit your job, buy a rig and go on the road. The greatest motivation for me is the desire to eat. I learn all kinds of shit I don’t particularly like and things that I would have never been motivated to learn 10 years ago. But now that’s all changed. When the owner of a Pub wants me to learn some tired ass crap that I hate, I smile and think of the food I’ll get to eat next week !! This is also great motivation for writing your own material. You just keep praying that one day someone will notice and start asking you to play your songs instead of Bob Dillon or the flavor of the week.
Exactly two things keep me going: routines and accountability.
I hate to admit it, but having a list of things that I do every day and doing them in the prescribed order keeps me going. It seems so kindergarten-y, but, yes, when Podkayne has too much unstructured time, she gets disorganized and cranky, and she cannot accomplish her tasks. Sad, but true.
You might try to establish some routines. Don’t jump in to everything all at once, but start with just a few things that you will do at a specified time of the day, e.g. “Get up. Make bed. Brush Teeth. Put on sweats. Go for a 30 minute walk.” (It’s okay to include stuff that you already do. This helps you associate new tasks with old habits, and make them into habits, too.) Write it down. Read it every morning. It seems dumb, but it works. Once your routine has become a habit, you can add more things.
The other thing that motivates me is accountability. If I don’t know that somebody is going to yell at me (or worse, simply be very, very disappointed) I find it really hard to motivate myself. I need finite tasks with firm deadlines that mean something. If I don’t have my grading done, my students get pissed off, so I do the damn grading, even though I hate it. I can’t make myself work on my thesis just because I want to be done with the damn thesis, I had to schedule a weekly meeting with my advisor, and instruct him to yell at me if I say I’ll do something by Friday, but then show up Friday without it.
Maybe you could have your instructor help you set goals for each week, such as for you to practice X amount of time every day (and write it down, so that it’s documented), or to spend Y minutes on a certain passage this week.
