Yes, I am a lazy, lazy man. I am completely unmotivated to do anything, even stuff I like. Given the choice between doing something and nothing, I choose nothing.
One of the arenas this is particularly frustrating is in physical fitness. I’ve always been kinda scrawny and weak (as evidenced by how quickly my legs and feet got tired by standing and walking, part of the time with a heavy pack, at a recent event), though I am getting “fatter,” seeing as how I broke 115 pounds on my 5’5" frame for the first time in my life. But I just can’t drag myself to do anything physically active that might change this. I have absolutely no friends nearby who would be interested and/or able to help keep me motivated to do a damn thing.
'Course, it’s not only this, it’s writing and reading and a dozen other things I could be doing besides watching TV or being online. Can anyone offer tips/advice? Be as general or as specific as ya like; I could use it all. Thanks in advance!
This kind of lethargy and procrastination, even for things you enjoy doing, are often signs of depression.
No, going on Prozac isn’t what you need.
The best way around this is to make a schedule for yourself of things you need and want to do, make yourself stick to it as closely as possible no matter how much you might not want to and then remind yourself that you actually feel better and that you have accomplished something every time you DO stick to it. Eventually, you learn this as a good habit and it helps deal with many of the other affiliated negative mood traits.
There. You just got the benefit of my three months of rational emotive behavior therapy and it didn’t cost you a cent.
Seriously, it works. It’s an annoying pain in the ass, every day, but it really does feel better than staying in the land of the unmotivated.
I’m naturally lazy and have been for over 40 years. However, when I went to the doctor last January and discovered that I was 65 (!) lbs. overweight and that I teetering on the edge of high blood pressure, I managed to find the determination to start going to the gym. I made a schedule and kept to it as if it were a work schedule rather than something I was choosing to do. Almost nine months (and 50 lbs.) later, I’m still going to the gym regularly, and I still dislike it almost as much as I did in the beginning. I do, however, like being able to climb stairs and hike without getting out of breath, I like being able to fit into decent clothing, and I really like the idea that maybe I won’t be disabled by “age-related” disease earlier than I should be.
I guess in my case, the positives of getting motivated started to outweigh those of staying lazy.
With a nod to FallenAngel and to InternetLegend, you can go about this in one of two ways. (Hopefully both).
Find out why you are avoiding work (stress) of any kind and work (learn) to counter this conditioning/thoughts/feelings. This will open your possibilities and allow the “clear air” to make better decisions, but it will not motivate you.
Find ways/thought/desires/needs to future goals and use them as motivation to do the daily grind of exercise/working/etc.
Unfortunately laziness, like depression and many other emotional concerns, easily become habits. You create new habits and you create a new you.
[staff sargent voice] Get up you lazy maggot! Get your lazy ass off that couch and get dressed we’re going for a run. Don’t look at me like that you heard me get moving now Now NOW!
[/ssv]
Now that that’s out of the way. If you want some exercise I would say to find something you at least like to do a bit. Like if you enjoy running find a marathon in say 6 months. If you like swimming find a Masters swim meet, biking find a race some where. Don’t worry about how slow you may be because the majority of people there just want to finish. Pay for it now this way you’ve already paid for it and either you go or you waste your money.
Then find some album you like that motivates you. For me I have Twisted Sister’s Stay Hungry album. It’s perfect, the first two songs alone make me want to get the hell up and do something. So find something that makes you want to get the hell up.
Then tell someone, or better yet tell more then one person. I would like to try and make the FINA World Swimming competition next June. I need to really lower my times to make it but I’ve already started in that direction, until the hurricane closed my pool for over a week. So I needed to do something. I went out last night and got some running shoes. I hate running but I have to do something to keep in shape. I got up at 4:15 this morning even though I didn’t want to and went for a run. I think I went for all of 20 minutes maybe and I feel bad. The worst part is I’m a good swimmer and you would think I could at least have some stamina.
I need to start hitting the gym too, but I hate that almost as much as running. Plus working out makes me hornier then a badger in heat and I don’t have a woman to help me out.
[ssv]Now get up, didn’t you hear me before? Don’t make me say it again maggot.[/ssv]
“Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoking Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid”.”
Now, I may not be an “expert”; I may not have a “college degree”, or even have “graduated high school”, but doggone it, I know how to motivate people!
So, you’re feeling lethargic? Got no ‘get up and go’? Well, here’s my personal “advice”, and it may sound very “strange” at first, and probably much later too: do nothing. That’s right, just ignore it and sooner or later it will go away! Or not! Either way!
Next week: “Self-immolation: here to stay or just a fad?”
You might try taking a part-time job that requires you to be active. One of the ways I am lazy is I do what needs to be done, and then I’m pretty lazy in my free time. One of the ways I actually accomplish things is to commit myself to something that must be done. For me a job is like that, I’m not someone who can blow off paying work. For some people this might be getting a dog that needs long walks, since taking care of a pet is an obligation that needs to be done. (Note: make sure you’re really up for the commitment before you drag the dog into it).
Edward the head, that would so not work for me. That kind of thing encourages me to stay in bed all day eating entire tubs of icecream. (I’ll show that evil screamer s/he can’t force me to do X! Even if I really want to!)
Seriously, I find that motivation flags with depression and loss of confidence, in a self-reinforcing cycle. I actually had a bad night last night thinking over this stuff. A fellow human who you trust to help with reality checks can reveal that you are not in fact a worthless maggot, you just had a bad day yesterday, and today has no reason to be the same.
Making lists is good. Another useful thing is cognitive therapy, where you do your own reality checks. Listen to what your inner voices are telling you and then fight back. And record your victories. It reinforces itself.
I can’t remember the title of the book I used; look on Amazon for cognitive therapy, there’s heaps. (Mine has a yellow cover…)
