It’s a Wonderful Life. Seriously, I hate this film. I hate what it stands for. I hate that everyone gets sewy eyed just talking about it. Ewww…
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Rather like LaurAnge, the two movies I would have to be paid to sit through would be Dumb and Dumber and The Cable Guy. Awful.
Breaking the Waves – the heroine goes through hell, but it’s OK, because when she dies … bells ring. There just aren’t enough rolleyes in heaven or earth for this one.
While there are many movies I like that others hate (and vice versa) I loathe the movie versions of many musicals.
Musicals can be fun in their stage versions. The suspension of disbelief necessary for people to burst into song and dance works in a theatre where you already have suspension of disbelief - you can see the painted sets, etc. But the film versions invariably suck: West Side Story, South Pacific, The King and I, Carousel, Camelot. ALL SUCK. Just about every moment that’s magic in the theatre gets ruined in the film. I especially loathed the movie version of Fiddler on the Roof, and I loved that musical.
About the only one that works is My Fair Lady, tho it’s too long. And Mary Poppins works as a musical cause even tho it’s a film it doesn’t try to be “realistic”.
Any other fans of musicals out there with opinions?
PS - Thumbs up to a previous poster who wrote:
"Dungeons and Dragons. To think that JRRT could have contributed to the creation of this in any way is too painful to contemplate. But that would be like holding Alexander Graham Bell responsible for telemarketers. " Indeed. Whether one loved reading LOTR or hated it, JRRT can’t be held responsible for all the imitative dreck out there.
If you look at the earlier pages of this thread, you’ll see that I actually defended the Dungeons & Dragons movie. This was, of course, before I actually saw it. May the archons of the Seven Heavens forgive me for such a foolish sentiment. It’s obvious that the guy who created the movie said, “Hey! Let’s make a movie with a ton of dragons fighting each other at the end! That would be so cool! Now all we need is something to fill the other 70 minutes with!” This movie has as much to do with the real D&D as the movie House of the Dead has to do with the arcade game. There are absolutely no D&D spells and only one D&D monster which shows up for a grand total of 5 seconds. Compare this to Scourge of Worlds on DVD, which shows that a real D&D movie can be made. I mean, Scourge has a wizard using fireball, and the D&D movie doesn’t! What more do I need to say?
(No, those magic blasts the wizards are using at the dragon battle aren’t fireballs. And even if they were intended to be, what kind of genius-level archmage would actually use fire to attack a fire-breathing dragon?!)
Dungeons and Dragons First move I ever came out of wanting to punch someone involved in the making of it. Any of them.
Blair Witch Project; Oddly, liked it until the last 2 minutes. I literally stood up from my chair and yelled, “WHAT THE F*CK?” I mean, I understand the ‘nature’ of the film, and I thought it was well done for what it was, but the ending? I like a story, thanks; not two hours of build up and then… Nothing. Whee. Lord, it makes me angry just thinking about it.
Dungeons and Dragons was a horrible mess. I too had at least some sort of hope that it was going to have refrences to the actual game. I was sorely dissappointed. I was dissappointed by The Two Towers as well. Gollum/Smeaol sounded like Donald Duck. I am embarrassed to watch that film. It’s not a bad movie by most standards but I guess I have more contempt for that piece of vapid drivel than any other movie ever.
Something About Mary takes a very very close second to The Two Towers.
There’s a difference between terrible movies, and movies I actively loathe. The worst movie I’ve ever seen is some combination of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Thomas and the Enchanted Railroad or The Quest starring Jean-Claude Van Damme.
But I don’t actively loathe them, I just look down on them, and warn my friends against seeing them.
Movies I loathe include…
-Movies that are pretentious, such as Benny and Joon and The Governess
-Movies that take a fantastic premise and destroy it, such as Sphere and Phenomenon
-Movise in which I used to identify with one or more of the characters, and then they acted in ways I wouldn’t have, and thus I took the whole thing as personal insult. Namely Weird Science (which of course has plenty of other problems).
Oh, and I also despise with great passion all of the people on the anti-Titanic bandwagon. When it first came out, before anyone knew it was going to make a zillion dollars, it got fabulous reviews, and everyone who I talked to liked it. And then the backlash began. Grrrrr…
I’ve got another one. The so-called Godzilla set in NY, the one with Matthew Broderick. I love a good (or bad in a goofy fun way) movie about a giant monster on a rampage. I had been so looking forward to this one, and it was such a disappointment on so many levels.
First off, the giant lizard in no way resembled Godzilla. It might better have been a remake of The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.
Second, the whole ending was a Jurassic Park rip-off.
Finally, every one of the human characters was thoroughly unlikeable. I remember that I said to the friend I saw this with, just as we were leaving the theatre: “Given humanity as represented in this film, a world overrun by giant lizards really doesn’t seem like such a terrible thing.” The only truly wonderful moment for me was when the giant lizard picked up the taxi containing our heroes in its mouth. If the creature had swallowed them all whole, and the movie ended right there, I would have walked away a happier woman.
TNT or TBS–one of the Turner stations, whatever–was playing real Godzilla movies all that weekend, and when I got home after seeing this movie, I lay down on the sofa and watched men in cheesy rubber monster suits stomp on cardboard models of Tokoyo until I felt better.
Posted by screech owl:
[homer]D’oh! I don’t like this new director’s cut![/homer]
The Governess falls into a strange, small category of bad movies that I think of as “period pieces in which Jonathan Rhys Meyers is required to take his trousers off”.
I’ve got nothing against period pieces or Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and I do not object in principle to nudity in films. Theoretically, one should be able to make a perfectly good movie containing all of these elements. However, in practice it only appears to happen in projects where midway through production someone realized two things:
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This movie is dull, pretentious, and confusing, and none of the characters are particularly likeable.
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No one actually watches period pieces except lonely old broads and maybe a couple of gay guys, right?
So the obvious solution is to have Jonathan Rhys Meyers (who always seems to get cast in these things) take one for the team. If the movie is really boring, they’ll find some excuse to have him not only naked, but wet too. This is at least a change of pace from bad period pieces in which some poor actress gets her bodice ripped open, but I hope someday people will learn that if your movie is tedious then just adding a few seconds of gratuitous T and/or A really does surprisingly little to liven things up.
The only movie I have ever stopped watching just so I could fast forward it and get to the end was: Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000. To be fair, though, I expected it to be bad–which is why I rented it. But really… that bad?
Pure drivel. Only slightly less appaling is any Farrelly brothers’ movie; most significantly, Kingpin.
Titanic, of course, rates up there (or down there).
Freddy Got Fingered
Outbreak
How is Benny and Joon pretentious? 
“Matrix Reloaded” sucked out loud.
I went for the F/X and thats about all I got. The storyline has gotten so lame they just put twists in it so it can have more twists and they’ve confused themselves in the process. “Hey, it’s a Matrix inside a matrix inside another matrix!”
If you heard someone groaning at the on screen prophecising that was me. “Every beginning must have an end, you’re here because your not somewhere else, what’s not real you ask? well you should be asking what isn’t not real” my eyes still hurt from rolling them so hard. I think the fans of the movie feel “hey, I can’t figure out what they said, so it must be pretty deep man.”
And still they attempt to put this love story in the movie with two of the stiffest, boring, cardboard characters nobody cares about.
Does anybody care if all the people who like to go to underground raves die??
quote:
Originally posted by MaxTheVool
Movies I loathe include…
-Movies that are pretentious, such as Benny and Joon
How is Benny and Joon pretentious?
Last comment is from member Lisa-Go-Blind, and I completely agree with her.
Benny & Joon wasn’t pretentious; Eyes Wide Shut defines pretentious.
Disclaimer: I saw Benny and Joon in the theatres when it came out, and haven’t seen it since. So my memory of it is not the clearest.
It’s not pretentious in the Eyes Wide Shut fashion of trying to have some Deep Artistic Meaning. It’s pretentious (as I recall) in the “oh how cutesy” fashion. If memory serves, the female lead, played by Mary Stuart Masterson, is supposedly mentally ill in some way. But how does this mental illness express itself? In the cutest possible fashion. She tries to stop cars with a pingpong paddle! She wears a snorkel mask outside! Awwwwwww. How sweet. Why, mentally ill people aren’t a danger to themselves or others. They’re just adorable!
I actually thought The Blair Witch Project was pretty good. It scared me, anyway. Then again, I’m pretty easy to spook.
As for films I actively dislike, well, I try to blot most of them from my memory, but here are a few:
Ace Ventura and Dumb and Dumber : I’m not much of a Jim Carrey fan in general, and these two duds are part of the reason why. I never got why people I knew found them some funny.
Star Wars Episode 1 : Ruined the Star Wars franchise for me. I couldn’t decide who I wanted to strangle more: Jar-Jar Binks or Wunderkid Anakin.
Baseketball : 'Nuff said.
Nurse Betty : Not even Morgan Freeman, an actor whom I greatly admire, could save this turkey.
Scary Movie 1 and 2 : And now they have a third installment coming out…please make it stop.
Grease : I used to like this movie was younger, but after recently viewing it with some friends, I realized “Wow, this really sucks!”
This is just a small list of my least favorites. I would include some of the awful eighties teen flicks I’ve seen on Comedy Central (like the one where Scott Baio plays a nerdy guy who invents some kind of potion that gives him super powers and grows marijuana in the school chem lab), but I don’t remember the titles. Probably just as well.
It was a remake of The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms. I’ve been saying that since the damned thing came out. Giant reptilian thing goes to New York City to spawn in both versions. Unbelievably, the military loses track of a giant monster in NYC in both versions. Unbelievable. Creature gets torpedoed in a NTC landmark at the end (Coney Island Roller Coaster or Brooklyn Bridge).
I think the similarities were deliberate. The filmmakers are more sf-literate than they let on (hey, look at all the inside jokes in Independence Day. And who but SF fans would even try to make a movie out of Martians, Go Home!?). Which makes it all the worse when they screw up and go for the lowest common denominator.