Ok, as a Rocky Horror Picture Show fan, I will admit this is a truly terrible film. I don’t know anyone who goes every week to watch the movie. We go to make fun of the movie because it is so bad. If you rent it and sit and watch it at home, it’s horrible. If you go to the theatre, throwing rice and squirting water guns, and you know all the lines to yell at the screen (yes there are certain lines, don’t shout just anything at the screen) it’s a blast. I don’t go because I like the movie, I go because I like making fun of the movie.
Add me to the list of people who hated “Something About Mary.” Contrived, sexist, and funny only on a third-grade level.
The most unspeakably dreadful travesty Hollywood has ever perpetrated, though, has got to be the “updated,” Americanized version of Great Expectations. (The one that spawned a new novelization by somebody named Deborah Chiel.) I didn’t see it when it first came out; I thought I already knew exactly how terrible it was. Then I accidentally watched some of it on TV and discovered it surpassed all my expectations. I had to keep watching, the same way you have to keep looking at a nightmare auto accident. My God. Words cannot express how awful it is. (At least mine can’t. I’m sure Mr. Dickens would be able to trash this movie far more eloquently if he weren’t busy spinning in his grave.) Do NOT see it if you wish to retain any faith in a merciful God. I was tempted to blind myself after I saw this film. I am still thinking of renouncing my citizenship in the country that spawned it. Yeesh.
Wow, you’re the ONLY person I’ve met who’s seen Battlefield Earth…what do you want, it’s aimed at 35-42 year old Scientologists
Half Baked is just awesome…it’s funny as hell, and you don’t have to be a stoner to enjoy it…it’s a satire on stoners, you watch it, laugh, say “Thank you GOD that I’m not dumb like them!” Then take another swig outta yer forty.
I periodically get together for “bad movie days” with friends from work. A few months ago, three of us sat completely through a cheap Saturday matinee of Battlefield Earth. We definitely got our money’s worth. Do we get pity or medals?
Lop off the last word of the title and you have a more apt description.
It’s billed as a “dark comedy”, but I didn’t laugh once. I consider myself to be pretty cynical and not very easily offended, but I was horrified by this movie. No redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Doesn’t this fall under the category of “Being Slightly Unclear on the Concept”? The camera shots were poor because the people in the movie were filming the movie with handheld cameras (a 16mm camera and a camcorder, to be specific).
And yet some of us were slow learners. Having gotten NOTHING out of Sleepless in Seattle, we still paid to see You’ve Got Mail.
ARGH! What a piece of crap THAT was. Frankly, I was eager to see it, curious to see how they would handle the “falling in love over the internet” thing because I know so many couples who started that way. That, my good friends, was the triumph of hope over experience. It was the least believable part of the movie… and that’s saying something!!!
Please, someone help me stop the twitching. I actually feel MAD about how ineptly that was done.
Leaving Las Vegas! Hell would be having to watch that movie again. It would take too long to write down everything that’s wrong with that movie, but I’ll do it if you really want to know.
And American Beauty was more of the same sort of crap.
i can’t remember the name, but i think it was “point of no return” with brigette fonda. “la femme nikita” was an excellent movie. hollywood apparently thought it could do a better job and produced the movie with fonda. why? i ask why? dimwits. i couldn’t even consider watching the movie. who do they think they’re fooling? the “thomas crowne affair” was laughable. it may have been bad, but it kept me snickering the whole time - especially the sex scene. that was horrible.
“event horizon” was pretty bad too. why is it that every time some spaceship that travels lightyears away from earth and approaches some spatial(?spacial) anomaly finds a portal to some dimension of hell?
I have only walked out of one movie in my life: the exquisitely painful Leonard, Part 6. I was not even very old when that came out, and my movie palate had yet to mature, yet even I, a humble child of about 10, could clearly perceive that this movie was the celluloid equivalent of a reeking pile of dog vomit. Whoever wrote it should be forced to watch back to back episodes of The Greatest American Hero until their writing skills have evolved into something more sublime. Whoever in Hollywood green-lighted it should submit themselves for voluntary lobotomy.
I am still faintly nauseated when I think of it, especially the part with the attack lobsters.
First, to make a couple of people scream. I have read recently that there is a “Highlander III” in the works that will feature both Connor and Duncan McCleod of the clan McCleod. Yes, both. There is also a remake of “Grease” in the works starring either Backstreet Boys or N’Sync (whichever has the guy that’s dating that other affront to the ears of the world, Britney).
Oh, and to whomever it was that hated “Brazil”: are you uts? That’s a perfect dystopian society, and Gilliam’s direction was brilliant. It’s American society taken to the extreme on both the right and the left.
This reminds me of another doozy; the recent version of Les Miserables with Liam Neeson as Jean Valjean.
I said in another thread that Highlander II is the worst movie of all time and I’ll stick by that, but I’d have to say that I hated Les Miserables more on a personal level. It was a truly atrocious film, despite a platoon of first-rate actors. To be more specific, it was probably the worst-directed and photographed movie of the last ten years, and was the worst-scored movie I’ve ever heard that actually used an orchestra (obviously, you can find much worse among movies that use cheapo 80’s synthesized scores, or movies with no-name alternative rock bands.)
I never did see Great Expectations because I think Gwyneth Paltrow is a terrible actress and really, really ugly and I hate her guts, but I can tell it was a horrifying movie.
Yes, they were cute, but I’d rather just rent clueless a few dozen times rather than spend one extra second watching “Batman and Robin’ me out of two hours of my life.”
You think the OP gets upset when his thread gets hijacked? Imagine how Tim Burton feels! Batman is the Dark Knight! A creature of mystery and intrigue! He’s not a plaything who stands on stage at a ne’er-do-well society meeting! Jumping Jehovah’s Witnesses, Batman, Joel Schumacher should get his toenails ripped out for that one.
::Simmering down:: Anyone else hate School Ties? This had such a good premise to it and then they said “hmm…let’s just have a bunch of naked boys fighting each other.” Every other scene was a fight between characters. Hi, I’m Mr. Emotional Range. There are other ways to show anger, you know. I can’t watch anything with Brenden Frasier in it without thinking of the vacuous void of a movie.
stofsky, you’re a little behind. You’re talking about Highlander 4:Endgame that came out this summer. I hear it was pretty bad as well.
As for me, I was dragged to see a remake of Sabrina starring Harrison Ford. Truly, truly awful. After the show, I actually stood up and announced to our group that it was the worst piece of crap movie I’d ever seen. That was a few years ago, and I still believe I haven’t seen a worse movie.
If N’Sync (or as Letterman calls them, N’Suck) and Britney appear in a movie version of “Grease” together, I swear to Christ I am going to lead the people in open rebellion, overthrow the world’s governments and establish the People’s Republic of Rickjay, where I will be empowered to order public executions on whatever whim I fancy. And you can be damned sure the people who produced “Grease” with Britney and N’Sync will be the first ones against the wall when that day comes.
Unite behind me, Dopers! Accept Cecil as our God-King, and I will lead you to a land where there is no Christina Aguilera and the people who made “Showgirls” are made to work in the dilithium mines!
Brazil: how can some people compare it to The Matrix and Dark City is beyond me. I had huge expectations for this movie after listening to those exalted references. Unfortunately it was so incredibly boring I wanted to kill myself rather than finish watching it. After masochistically and stoically viewing it for an hour I couldn’t take it anymore. Those are the most pathetically spent 3600 seconds of my life. In retrospect, I would have rather fucked Roseanne Barr than forced my eyes to be victimized by such a tormentous cinematic mastercrap. It is so bad that it requires the coinage of new words to appropriately convey the catastrophic and traumatic experience that it represents.
Batman and Robin: I knew it would suck. The only reason I watched it in its entirety was because it was Batman. Joel Schumajer should be banished from the planet for directing that crap. Yeah, I know I incorrectly spelled his damn name. He doesn’t deserve the trouble of sending the correct neurological signals all the way from my brain to my fingers.
The movie was so bad that even if Alicia and Uma had been involved in a menage a trois with Batman it would have still sucked.
Wait a minute, I take that back. I am just picturing them in complete and absolute nakedness–Alicia and Uma that is, not Batman. Off to download some porn now.
Movies not yet mentioned
City of Angels and Message in a bottle: I really hate when they do the romantic build up, make you identify with the characters and then, suddenly and out of the blue, one of the romantic leads gets killed. What’s the point? Getting you depressed? If that’s what I want I can go read a goddamn Greek tragedy. No need to pay 3 bucks for that.
…especially when they’re “romances.” For some reason, a romantic movie must involve a really, really stupid woman putting up with crap that she should realize no woman deserves.
High on the list: Pretty Woman Oh, man, just the concept of this film had me fuming. She’s a prostitute! Number one, no street-walking prostitute looks like Julia Roberts. Two, no john is going to come to the romantic rescue of a ho he ordered and wind up falling for her. Three, well…it’s this kind of Cinderella-crap that encourages women to live in Fantasy Land.
Indecent Proposal Never saw it, but I’m seconding the first mention…the entire concept offended me.
Jerry Maguire They were both just using each other, and it was sickening.
Autumn in New York Didn’t see it. The age difference and basic premis was enough for me to turn my nose away from this pile of shit. (What’s Richard Gere going to date in his next film, a fetus?)
…and really, about half the “romances” out there. It’s why I refuse to see most of them.
