I remember this one time, I held a kid’s head in the toilet for, like, five minutes because he said he’d never got a D&D character above fifth level. What a fuckin’ loser he was! Man, being popular in school was awesome. I don’t know how those dweebs who couldn’t get in the chess club could live with themselves.
I agree. Most prostitutes are much better looking.
I’m glad somebody else sees it that way. Surprise, surprise, I don’t usually get much agreement (and of course, my sister, my husband, and my best friend all ADORE the movies. Sometimes I wonder how we could have such fundamentally different views of the world…).
I was reminded of Something’s Gotta Give. I watched this movie because I usually like Jack Nicholson doing his Jack-Nicholson impression. I love Diane Keaton. I sincerely love Keanu Reeves. The trailers looked funny. So how bad could it be?
Bad. Bad, bad, bad. I have many, many problems with it. But the biggest is that Jack Nicholson is a self-absorbed, piece of shit, mean, sonofabitch, jerk. And he’s that way in every movie, but unlike all of his other movies, his foil is Keanu Reeves. A charming, sweet, adoring, kind, loving, handsome, smart, doctor Keanu Reeves.
And I’m supposed to believe that she would choose Jack fucking Nicholson over Keanu Reeves? And further, that her choice constitutes a happy ending?
Fuck you, Nancy Meyers!
I couldn’t watch more than 5 minutes of that film, it was so evocative.
Well, to be fair, it WAS a monomyth, Lucas was a student of Campbell after all. There wasn’t really that much you could do with it OTHER than what he did.
Heres Campbell’s summary of the monomyth (a very popular storytelling archetype):
I mean, I suppose you could have changed the Good/Evil plot, but then you’re pretty much left with an Odyssey ripoff.
That said, I liked Star Wars because… well… everyone likes Star Wars damnit! After I realized this and rewatched the movies and found them lacking. Don’t get me wrong, I still think being a Jedi would be awesome, and the games are pretty good, but I agree that the movies and the writing for them are lacking, and I really have relegated to my “things that I wouldn’t scream if I had to watch, but would rather not” list.
I have successfully blocked the memory of many movies which made me angry. I have vague memories of ones which disturbed me. but I can only pull up one title right now.
“The Cat in the Hat”
What a waste of videotape.
I have to agree with:
Unbreakable
Alien
Donny Darko
Cat in the Hat
I haven’t been able to make it all the way through Napoleon Dynamite, but that alone tells you something.
Both Pepper Mill and I truly hated The English Patient.
I swear I posted to this thread, but now it’s not here.
Oh my…you just stirred my memory…
How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carrey has to be one of the worst abominations known to cinema. Let’s see - take a beloved children’s book which has already been made into a classic animated movie, completely reverse the plot, making the charitable characters into greedy, shallow jerks, thereby disemboweling the entire plot of the story, and add Jim Carrey’s rubber face antics.
I want my money back!
Psst . . . It was Fillmore.
Nobody remembers the poor guy.
Amen sister.
Granted The Matrix had some nice sharp imagery and cool action scenes but I just can’t get past the horrible, stupid pseudo babble that passes for dialog. “What is the matrix? What isn’t the matrix.” “Who’s the chosen one? The one who isn’t not chosen.” Stupid, stupid. It’s like listening to a couple of 8 year olds arguing in circles. If I ever choose to watch it again I think I’ll watch with French subtitles.
Powder. It’s one of those “oh he’s special and humanity just can’t accept special people so they attack what they fear” type of movies. For some reason it really annoyed me.
Marc
I really hate the movie Glengarry Glen Ross.
The dialogue is fast and snappy. The characters are fully realized three dimensional people. The plot moves consistently. Everything about it is well-executed, and I hate, hate, hate it.
I realize it’s rather shallow of me, but I just don’t want to spend an hour watching thoroughly dislikable people flailing about in a sea of despair and dingy ignominy. It’s a very good movie about very bad people, and watching it makes me feel like someone is peeling off strips of my skin.
Yesterday I saw “The Dark Knight,” and I really hated it. What a confused, noisy, pointless exercise.
But “Dogville” is by far the most miserable excuse for movie I’ve ever seen.
Natural Born Killers - I felt like I paid $10 to have someone masturbate on me.
Thin Red Line - “hey, lets make a WW2 movie, set it during one of the most interesting campaigns of the war, have an all-star cast, and make it as boring and pretentious as possible!”
X-Files 2 - I’m pretty sure I was promised Scully nudity for having to wait so long…
Nah. No brushing, coarse food that caused a lot of wear - most people from the invention of agriculture on had terrible teeth.
Also,
JRB
The Scary Movie series and all of the spin-offs. The 40-Year-Old Virgin/Wedding Crashers/and other over the top raunchy films. Sometimes I like stupid comedy, but I just can’t stand the overly sexual ones.
I just read all the posts after mine & was reminded of two wastes of film that I hated so much I blocked them out of my mind and memory - “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” and “Somethings Gotta Give”. For the exact same reasons the previous writers gave, so I won’t repeat.
Now, I’ll try to forget those horrible movies again.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned this one by now… Battlefield Earth. My brother was working at a movie theater at the time, and I got in for free, and I STILL felt ripped off. EVERY cut was EXACTLY the same. The plot was monumentally stupid. None of the plot twists were even remotely believable. Let’s see, a race of super intelligent and super advanced aliens conquer the human race in like an hour or something… fine, I can buy that I suppose. But the plot relies on a bunch of men who, for all intents and purposes are cavemen, learning to operate jets and advanced weaponry, and defeating the very same alien race that conquered humanity so easily at our peak? I just can’t wrap my head around how that’s remotely believable. This must be the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’ve seen Highlander 2 and Kickboxer 4.
I also actively hate Titanic. Not because it’s a bad film, I have no idea, because I’ve never seen it. I hate it because I was about 14 at the time it came out and EVERY girl my age was COMPLETELY obsessed with the movie and… Leonardo DiCaprio. How the HELL was I suppose to compete with HIM? And that god-damned song, it was EVERYWHERE! I’ve even heard a blue-grass cover of that song; how pathetic is that? I can appreciate liking a movie and seeing it more than once. I’ve seen The Dark Knight twice, for instance. But I think the girl I knew who saw it the least times saw it about 7 times; I’ve met many more who have seen it 12 or 15 times. It’s not the highest grossing movie of all time because it’s great, it’s the highest grossing movie of all time because they released a movie that targetted the most susceptable demographic during a time when too many people have too much extra money to waste and didn’t know how to tell their daughters that seeing the movie for a 14th time was 13 times too many. And THEN, it went on and won an assload of academy awards, not because it was the best movie, but because it was so ridiculously popular that they didn’t have a choice. This film is the manifestation of everything that I hate.
So your advocating that, to satisfy you, all actors who appear in historical films have teeth pulled or broken?
Have you heard the song in italian? 
(Il Mio Cuore Va, done by Sarah Brightman)