A lot of times teenagers say things they don’t really feel, just for shock value and to be rebellious. Sometimes they just want to be noticed.
Only when a discussion of heterosexual relationships would also be inappropriate. I don’t know what that situation would be, though. Maybe an undercover operation debriefing. You should really just not talk about personal stuff in that situation.
Otherwise, if it’s a situation in which it would be okay for a hetero man to talk about having a wife, why shouldn’t a gay man talk about having a husband? Being in a committed relationship isn’t exactly something shameful that needs to be hidden from the innocent little children. (Speaking of marriage, I’m pretty sure that the percentage of marriages that only happen because of accidental pregnancy is way lower among gay people than heterosexuals.)
Yeah, but she said it (presumably out of my earshot) to her cousin. Maybe she was just trying to impress him, be he himself should know better.
I heard my sister-in-law say something similar when she was about 13. Two years later, she came out to us.
I would mention something to your niece (especially since she worships the ground you walk on), but I wouldn’t automatically assume she’s going to be homophobic for life. Weirdly enough, this does seem to be a phase many kids go through.
It becomes inappropriate as soon as it becomes inappropriate for a married woman teacher to say, ‘‘I have a husband,’’ or vice-versa. Treating homosexuality like some kind of ‘‘special issue’’ would only undermine the point that it’s not a big deal. If a teacher can casually remark, ‘‘I have a husband,’’ and nobody in a position of authority indicates that it matters, at all, then children will pick up on that. What monstro said.
Ivylass, that was stellar parenting on your behalf, by the way. Way to go!
Exactly. Often informal conversations with kids moves to this topic, at their instigation, and sensible honest answers are all that should be given. One example, a paraphrase of what had been a light-hearted conversation with a group of eleven-year-olds:
Them - Sir, have you got any children?
Me - No, I deal with enough already!
Them - Are you married, though?
Me - No.
Them - Are you…snigger…gay?
Me - No, I’m not.
Them - Oh. (Then started talking about something completely different.)
I chose to give them a serious answer to their question, which they thought was something to be laughed about. When the giggling started, I could have told them to behave, to stop being silly, or just change the topic. Some other teachers would do so. But that condones or acknowledges the idea that gay=funny.
I would have loved it if one of my teachers had come out. There was always speculations about who was gay, some of them no doubt groundless, but except for a high school counselor, I didn’t know any gay adults until I got to college. And I lived in an urban, cosmopolitan, gay-friendly city.
It turns out that I did have one gay teacher, but none of his students knew he was gay until after he died of AIDS.
What’s inappropriate? If he had said, “Yes, I’m married, and you’ll meet my wife during the Christmas show” how would that have been different? It’s not like he outlined favorite positions or anything.
FWIW, Ivylad and I are registered Republicans and are libertarian leaning-conservatives. So, does that blow anybody’s mind? 
I’d argue that the younger the students, the more appropriate the topic becomes. It’s never to early to start teaching tolerance.
Or was watching Jerry Lewis.
Not only will hat happen, but penis may ensue.
A teacher casually mentioning his/her life partner is never inappropriate. What’s inappropriate is running into your English teacher making out with another man at a flamingly gay bar - this being in 1987, which meant that (a) he was closeted, (b) I was eight years under drinking age, and © I had been smuggled into the bar by my openly gay caretaker, who was trying to hang out with his bartender boyfriend. Fortunately, we all thought it was hysterical.
mischievous
If she says it again, you might try misunderstanding it and agreeing that cigarettes are very bad for you and she’s showing she’s very sensible.
Really good line. 
Henchman it is.
But seriously. Fire and brimstone type sermons are like the boogeyman for adults. ffs. Lets all align our moral compass with the dude who says we’re going to hell!
My oldest just started kindergarten, and I’ve already explained to him and my younger ones that some kids have just a mommy, or just a daddy, or two mommies, or two daddies, or a mommy and a daddy, or maybe grandparents who take care of them. He’s going to meet all kinds of kids with all kinds of families, so I want my kids to be aware and sensitive to all the various family situations that exist.
And yes, even at their young age, I’ve explained that some men love men, and women love women, and men and women love each other. It’s just natural.
ivylass, I always knew I admired you, this is just one more reason.
You are a credit to parenting.
I was doing this to praise on Ivygirl, not to brag on myself! :o
Yeah, but she didn’t get there on her own!
I used to pooh-pooh compliments on my parenting until one day another (older) mother pulled me aside and said, “Look, if your kid turned out to be a crack-dealing whore, you’d blame yourself, right? You’d wonder where you went wrong and what you could have done differently. So if you’d take responsibility for him turning out badly, you’d better step up and take responsibility for him turning out well!”
Good point, I thought.
But yes, kudos to her and to you and to the teacher. It’s really really nice to have an anti-RO thread, an antidote to the examples the news picks up about how our teachers and kids are going to hell in adjacent handbaskets. I like to believe that stories like this are actually more common, we just don’t hear about them as much.