Ok, so with these limitations I need to make a list of everything I could conceivably need a vehicle for or need a vehicle to do for me and try to find something that will satisfy as many things on the list as possible.
- Passenger capacity: room for at least 5 adults, plus a dog.
- Cargo: room enough for a big Costco shopping trip or a Black Friday gift-buying adventure.
- Extra cargo capacity if needed: room for a Christmas tree or some 2x4 boards.
- Something I can drive well into my dotage: so nothing that I have to climb up into or squat down and fold myself into. Something that can carry a wheelchair if needed.
- Towing capacity: I don’t have a trailer at the moment or really foresee myself getting one but since this will be the only car I’ll ever have I need to take that into consideration. What if I want to get a teardrop travel trailer after I retire?
- Maintenance and repair costs/feasibility: I live in small city and the only foreign car dealerships we have are Honda and Toyota. So no getting an Aston Martin or Land Rover or similar car that I’d have to take out of town to get repaired. Plus, I don’t want to have to take out a second mortgage just to do routine maintenance.
- High visibility to other drivers. This is fairly easy to accomplish with bright or light-colored paint.
So lets take all of the above into consideration. A sports car is right out. Plus, I’m a fat balding middle-aged man working in a school. Buying anything sporty just screams “midlife crisis!”
A coupe is out because of the cargo and passenger limitations
A sedan is out for the same reasons.
A dedicated 4x4 like a Wrangler or Defender is out for the same reasons.
A pickup might work. I’ve had the chance to drive and use the new F-150 hybrid and, I have to say, that’s a damn nice pickup. Comfortable, powerful, and a plethora of actually useful features, not just “shiny-for-the-sake-of-being-shiny” type of stuff. However the need for wheelchair inclusion is pretty important to me, moreso than the 4x4 that F-150 provides.
So. That leaves me with… drumroll… a new Honda Odyssey minivan in white pearl paint. The top trim package, please. I want a sunroof, fog lights, and heated seats at a minimum. I also want an integrated old-school CD player and those are only available on the top-level trims [aside: CD’s are old tech by now. Why are they only available as premium features? A decade ago they were standard across pretty much all makes, models, and trim levels. It seems to me CD players should be standard on the low end trims and Bluetooth/Apple Car Play/Android Auto should be top trim level stuff but it’s actually the other way around.) Before delivery please take it to a customization shop and fit it with bespoke heavy-duty brush guard. Since this is the last car I will ever own I want to protect it from deer strike damage as much as possible. Please add a set of auxiliary driving lights – the super bright kind that Jeep enthusiasts like. Please also add extra interior lights in the cargo area, to especially include the far back cargo area. I have yet to see a minivan that has adequate cargo space lighting.
This vehicle satisfies all my needs. It has room for 8 passengers with cargo room left over, has an available roof rack for larger items, has an intelligent traction-control system for the rare times we have snow, and has a 3,500lb towing capacity. When I get old and too creaky to climb in and out of a smaller car, this will still work well. If I even need to modify it so it is wheelchair-accessible, this van will work (a pickup can be fitted with a wheelchair hoist but the chair is still left out in the rain while driving). Being a Honda I’m confident it will stay running for 40 years / a million miles only with routine / scheduled maintenance.
So that’s my pick. If for whatever reason I can’t get the Odyssey the aforementioned F-150 with a paint-matched shell on the bed is my second choice.
