A computer cartoon says
“For online investors, our new keyboard has four extra buttons:
Buy, Sell, Panic, and** Gloat**”
I got an e-postcard with the extra key
Oh shit! (presumably = the “No Escape” key)
I could really use an eject key, which would be helpful when I write something particularly painfully putrid (like this post, for example).
What I need is a “DAMN” (download all male nudes) button.
I’d like the Windows-standard US keyset to be customisable to allow me to use ä, å, ö (the extra three letters in the Swedish alphabet).
New keys I want to see:
Please
Really
Now
FOD (Fuck Off and Die)
Self-Destruct
F double-sharp.
Oh! COMPUTER keyboard?
I think four or five “accent” keys that are used just like Shift, Ctrl, and Alt are used. Hold down ‘/’ accent key, then press ‘e’, and voila! ‘é’.
I could use a “Hurry Up” key, provided it actually worked.
New keys? No. If you ask me, they should take away some of the extra keys they keep putting on new keyboards. Do I really need an “internet” key at the top? Seriously, how hard is it to click on the Netscape icon on my desktop?
And I REALLY HATE these “back/forward” keys I have on my keyboard…imagine this:
A ^ B
< v >
The <, >, v, and ^ are my regular arrow keys, and the A and B are keys that take my web browser a page backward or forward in the history. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that I play a lot of games, and it really f**ks me up when, for example, I’m playing in the dark and I have to feel my way to the keys quickly. The top row feels like the bottom row!
And, it’s OT, but I once saw a fake picture of a keyboard that had “Everything You Will Ever Need To Use Windows 2000!” It was a keyboard with only 3 keys; Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. I wish I still had the location of the picture so I could provide a link. It was funny.
“Never Mind”
I’ve seen that one before. Its very useful for typing in spanish.
Damn! I was going to patent that and make a fortune!
Oh well, at least I still have my ingenious plan for edible plastic.
use your windows cd to switch keyboard language to “english (united states) - united states international” then simply pressing the " key and then a,e,i,o,u will give ä,ë,ï,ö,ü…presing “comma then c” gives ç, etc etc. lots of stuff…you gotta get used to slightly different typing (like hitting space after the " key to actually get a "), but its good for typing in languages with accents (i use it for french).
im begining to think that the greek letters would be useful…the alt/ctrl functions are nice, but with all the lab reports i have to write, it would be good to have one button for mu and alpha and beta and lambda and sigma and delta and gamma and… 
Easy.[ul]
[li]Send Over Pizza.[/li][li]Send Over Beer.[/li][li]Send Over Sophie Marceau.[/li][/ul]
On second thought, only one button is needed:[ul]
[li]Have Sophie Marceau Bring Beer and Pizza.[/li][/ul]
I need a key marked C.A.D. for Control-Alt-Delete
If this is the mantra of so many Window’s users I think having it on a single key would make reboots so much easier…
A button that delivers a mild electrical shock to the person of my choice sounds good to me.
One that correct my English.
I’d like the “Any” key for when the instructions tell you to press any key.
I could sure use a “recover from crash” key, but I’m sure Microsoft would disable that anyway.
On a more serious note, I always thought that a little LCD display along the function keys would be nice. The software could use it to display the function of each key.
Also a few multipurpose dials also labelled by LCD displays would be neat. Like the scroll wheels, except it can be used to control, say, the RGB values of an object in a graphics program, volume in music playback programs, FF/rewind in video playback, size of image in Powerpoint, etc.
ALSO I WISH THEY WOULD GET RID OF THE CAPS LOCK KEY!!
Amen, Audrey. There’s days I could use a “Zap Stupid” key. A “Stop Downloading That Ad And Work On The Actual Page” key and a “Gimme the Goddam Mouse Cursor Back” key would be sweet, too.
But I really want a manual override to park the heads. Too often Outlook refuses to close, or Windows falls asleep at the switch and I think I’ll never get to shut down. Just a switch that parks the heads no questions asked so I can leave. That’s all I ask.