What no longer works on/in your car? and Other Car Stories

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Possibly the crappiest car that I have ever driven was my old 1984 brown Ford Tempo. The main problem was that it was a three speed auto, but rarely got out of second, even on the freeway. So I was constantly driving at 70 miles an hour listening to the engine cry out in pain. That is not nearly as bad as the way it looked. An example: I had it parked outside of my house for about a half an hour, and when I went outside a cop was chaulking the tires because he said that it looked like an abandoned car!

Life is tough, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.

22

My 1995 Ford Minivan only has two faults: The key doesn’t work in the driver’s side door. We bought the car used from a dealership with only 35,000 miles on it, and found out later that it had been totaled in an accident. They repaired it beautifully, but apparently had to replace the driver’s side door and they never replaced the lock to match the rest of the locks. The dealership said the only way they could fix it would have been to replace all of the locks. We decided “screw that”, since it only takes about an extra two seconds to unlock the passenger door, hit the unlock switch on that door, close the door, walk around the car and open up the driver’s door and get in. It also has a faulty sensor on the back hatch. The dashboard light was already lit up, claiming that one of our doors was ajar (thank god the car doesn’t talk). My hubby took apart the back hatch and dismantled the sensor. Other than that, it’s been a dream (except for we had to replace the transmission last year).

Now, my other car is a 1989 Chrysler LeBaron that we bought from his mom this year. It only had 62,000 original miles on it, but it has an electrical short in it somewhere that we have been unable to locate, so if we let the car sit in the parking lot for more than 36-48 hours, the battery dies in it. As long as we drive it every single day, it works great. We did, however, recently have to get the timing belt replaced. The inside lights located above the front seats no longer work, but that’s only because the bulbs are burned out and we are simply too lazy to replace them (which would probably only take five minutes tops). Again, other than that, everything works perfectly.

I could tell you some horror stories about other cars we have owned, but this post is already too long for its own good.

Shadowfox
“We are what we pretend to be.”

  • Kurt Vonnegut
23

Let me just say that I’m a firm believer in running your cars until they are no longer recognizable, and other people refuse to park next to it.

But I cannot for the life of me fathom why neurotrashgrl is getting that car fixed!!! It is illegal in so many ways I can’t count (and if this were a different spirited thread I might yell at her for risking her and others lives as well as insurance rates). A new driveshaft and head gasket are expensive, labor intensive jobs, you would be able to upgrade 5 levels of shitboxiness with that money. It is cute and all, but it goes against all logic.

I’d ask kelli the same thing, but hers isn’t a hazard, just a disaster. Kelli, don’t you think that considering the cash you spend on oil and gas you’d save cash by buying a $500 late 80’s shitbox? I’m confused.

On my car: I drive a 1988 Ford Mustang, it really is in pretty damn good shape. It has 150,000 miles on her, and very little rust, a huge feat in Chicago weather and roadsalt. I’m kinda anal and I don’t smoke or allow passengers to, so the interior is spotless. No stains, rips, or dirt. The seat however has lost its spring and support so I slope to the outside a bit, making for an awkward posture. The headlight switch is broken so I need to balance it between the parking/headlight notches to get both to stay on. One blown speaker. And when I put my key in the passenger lock, I can spin it 360 degrees without it doing anything to the lock, the linkages are busted, and block the power window from rolling all the way down. The catalytic converter is a little loud, but thats about it. Who says domestic cars are trouble?

24

1987 Mercury Tracery (Which is just a Mazda 323 in disguise)

Power steering broken
Horn broken
choke is broken (try starting this car when it’s cold!)
leaks oil
Front tire leaks
Rear defrost only works on half of the window
Heating has 2 settings: off & full blast
Rear hatch can’t hold itself up
Hood doesn’t lock (anybody can just walk up and open it by pulling the lever)
relay for radiator fan broken, fan is wired to be always on
both rear shocks & coils spring were broken until this winter
radio speakers only work half the time (I can get surround sound by smacking the radio because speakers will randomly start and stop working)
When I kick my shoes against the door to knock the snow off large chunks of rust fall on the ground
Everything rattles, when it’s cold the speedometer squeals and the battery light flickers on and off.

25

Oh yeah and the handbrake is broken and the car won’t start in moist weather. (That’s why I don’t unplug the radiator fan for the winter, I can turn the key to the on position and sometimes it will dry off the distributor and my car will start.)

Beat that.

26

Konrad: Get out of your car and flee on foot… we will try to detonate your vehicle via helicopter-mounted bazookas.

27

1990 Subaru Legacy: runs great, but…

  1. Passenger door locks automatically. You have to hold the button in the “unlock” position while you pull on the lever.

  2. Check Engine Light has been on for about 5 years now.

  3. Odometer occasionally stops. Pounding on the dashboard fixes this.

  4. Fuel Gauge is a sometimes thing. Work fine from “Full” to about halfway, then it drops like a stone to “Empty.” I reset the trip odometer with every fillup and keep track of my mileage.

  5. Sometimes-lit dashboard lights.

  6. (as of this morning) The lock on the driver’s door broke, so the key no longer works in that door.

28

My mechanic :wink:

I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!

29

My tape deck started eating all my tapes yesterday. I’ve been wanting an excuse to get a new one for a coupla years now. It’s a detachable-face radio. What a stupid design! When I hit a bump, IT DETACHES. I can’t get a CD player yet, as I have only about 10 CDs, and hundreds of tapes. Anyone want to donate to my CD fund?

“I’d think God would want to LIMIT my powers.”

30

One of my first cars, a 76 Subaru, developed a problem with the wipers. They would work for a few minutes, then just shut off. But if I made a right turn, they would come back on again for another minute. So if I ever had to drive anywhere in the rain, I had to go a few blocks, then go around the block on the right every mile or so.

When I worked at my college bookstore, they had a van for hauling stuff around campus. It was in bad shape, and one year when we took it for inspection, it just died in the inspection station. Had to push it out of the station and have it towed off the BMV lot.

31

I cant afford another car.

We did an oil change today, and Dad adjusted the choke AGAIN…is running pretty good right now.

I heard through the grapevine that dad wants to replace it.

I quiet my inner voice which screams "Charity!!’ by reminding myself that it will be me and me alone to care for him in his old age.

32

Here is the story of an 83 Cadillac Coupe de Ville.

The driver’s side door worked for a sum total of about 2 months. No biggy.

There was a big hole in the bottom of the trunk, which was convenient if you had anything that needed washed back there and happened to drive through a rainstorm.

The muffler fell off somewhere in the Ocala National Forest. I consider mufflers to be largely cosmetic- again, no biggy.

Somewhere in NJ, I think, the entire coolig system blew up. Cooling systems are not cosmetic, and, yes, the bill hurt.

A few days later, up near the Adirondacks, I lost the power steering. Power steering is cosmetic.

Looking for a Phish show in Austin, TX, power brakes went out. I didn’t realize at the time that power brakes are also cosmetic, and spent too much getting them fixed.

Back in FL, a couple of weeks later, the brakes go out again.

Battery dies. I give up.

(2 months pass) Friends convince me to take it on a road trip, since “we don’t need to stop.”

Somewhere in NM, the hi-beams refuse to turn off. The power-draw somehow makes the lights go completely off. Which is not what you want in the desert at night. In MacGyver fasten, we attach a rope from the turn-signal stick, through the steering wheel, to the coathook in the back seat passenger side.

Driver Number 3 makes a U-turn, ripping the turn-signal out of the steering wheel and leaving us with no lights. Time to stop for the night.

The next day, we figure out that disabling the hi-beams will allow us to drive with low beams only. We shove a screw-driver into the steering column to signal.

One passenger drops a dime in a cigarette lighter. Bye bye internal lights and climate control of any sort.

The seat-adjustment mechanism conveniently gives out while the tallest driver is in the seat. Because of the situation with the brakes, the shorter amongst us are forced to shove a frame-pack behind us when driving to get the leverage needed to brake.
The tape player worked. On 2/3 speed.

And you all speak to me of such silly things-
cruise control, power locks/windows, windshield wipers, interior lights. Pah!

The thing that pissed me off most about this car was the fact that the damn thing kept going and going and going and. . .

33

The first car I drove was an 84 Mercury Cougar. It was supposed to be my brother’s but I had license and he didn’t even though he was older. I only drove it for like 2 months anyway. The worst thing that happened when I was driving it was that I blew out the back speakers. He would eventually replace them anyway. That car eventually needed a new water pump. One time, he was backing out of our driveway and the axel (?), or the wheel itself, snapped off. It wasn’t like the bolts were loose like someone said before, the thing holding the wheel on actually SNAPPED. Now the problem is that he needed a part that had to do with the accelerator and couldn’t get it because they don’t make the part anymore.

My first car was an 87 Ford Mustang LX. I loved that car. My dad bought it for me for $1100. 8 months after I got it, the transmission went, and my wonderful father paid $1500 to get it fixed. Other than that and a little rust (which Daddy also fixed) it was perfect. Oh, it was also 4 cylinders which SUCKED. If I wanted it to have any pickup at all, I’d have to get out and push, you know, give it a running start. I sold it back in July for about $1700. For most of the time I drove it, the little light in the dashboard that said “AMP” was always on. The girl who bought it had to pay like $350 to get a part for it. After she did, the light went off.

I also name my cars. According to my friends, it’s weird that I do this, because I’m a girl. They also think it’s weird that in nice weather, every other day I’m outside washing my car. My mustang was named “TubbieMobile” and I always refer to it as “he” because he got me where I needed to go, just never fast enough.

My current car is a 91 Mercury Cougar, and it’s terrific. It has 6 cylinders. It doesn’t have a name yet though. Suggestions?

34

Since we’re reviving old threads, and since I am very pleased with myself because I have finally mastered UBB codes, I will now entertain you all with a picture of my car, exact colour and edition.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Peugeot 306 :

http://www.casema.net/~sbo/306.gif

Pretty cool, huh :wink:

Coldfire

"You know how complex women are"

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
35

Damned radio doesn’t work in my car now. I’m pretty sure I just need to pop it out and reseat the antenna connector, but it’s too cold outside to bother with it. Also the gas guage has a tendency to work/not work. I’m driving an '86 Toyota Tercel, and I remember the same thing happening on my '81 Celica. Very strange…

“It’s only common sense,
There are no accidents 'round here.”

36

Is that before or after the crash, Coldy?

37

Well, I just got a new-to-me 99 Chevy Prizm (which didn’t get towed at the Michigan SDMB meeting eventhough I clearly parked next to a “No Parking” sign. Am I living on the edge or what!?) but before that I had a '93 Eagle Vision (same thing as an Intrepid) with 168,000. It had:

  1. The transmission beginning to go out. Had to wait for it to warm up before it would go into gear on cold mornings.
  2. A teeny hole in the radiator
  3. A hole in the evaporator coil hence no A/C

Actually that it’s, now that I think about it. However, we still owed 17 months on the car and I traded it in before I was left with a useless hunk of metal on my hands. We are credit-rich but cash-poor so if the tranny went, we’d be in a heap of hurt, because we refuse to put stuff like that on credit. God knows we’re just beginning to get out from under our debts!

I had a '81 (?) Toyota Corolla in Okinawa that actually ran like a champ but because of my lack of, mmm, how shall we say, interior maintenance, I had cockroaches in it. Eeeewwwwww!

38

I forgot to mention that the quote I got to fix the tranny was around $2500. The mechanic told me Chrysler products are his bread-n-butter cause of crappy transmissions.

Other than that, loved the car. Even if it did have 3 fuel injectors break (not all at the same time of course!!) and spray gas all over my engine.