What no longer works on/in your car? and Other Car Stories

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m driving a 1987 CRX these days. Considering it’s 13 years old it’s in remarkable shape (kudus to the previous owner). I’ve had it just a little over a year now.

The inside lights no longer work.
The dash board dimmer switch doesn’t work - one setting: on or off.
You have to hold the emergency brake lever down for a few minutes before the “brake” light goes out.
Carry a ski pole to hold the hatch open.
When I stop at a gas stations I say “fill the oil and check the gas”.

But, I must say, it it’s defense, considering our minus 25 to minus 35 Celsius temperatures the little sh*tbox starts right up. You can’t get any better than that.

I’d like to mention a conversation I had with my insurance broker. (In Canada insurance is a MUST HAVE - no ifs-ands-or-buts about. Anyway, we have two vehicles: 1988 Jeep Comanche and my CRX. The renewal notice came in: $280ish for the truck and $490 for the Car. WHAT! Immediately pick up the phone:

Me: “200 bucks more for my car? Why? The licence bureau’s book value lists it at $1400.” (Worse than it sounds people - I’m talking Canadian funds here.)
Broker: “It’s classified as a sports car.”
Me: “A sports car! You’re kidding me? In what country? It’s a gutless wonder and is older than you are.” (Ok, I admit sarcasim rarely gets you anywhere.)
Broker: “Two door, two seater cars fall under the sports car category.”
Me: “Well, maybe in 1987 it was a sports car, but by today standards it’s a gutless econo-box. What can I do to lower this rate?”.
Broker: “You could take off Fire and Theft, unless you think there is a risk of either?”
Me: “Yeah, right, someone steals it and my deductable is higher than what you guys would give me. Take it off.”
Broker: “OK, I can save you $162.”

I’d list the problems with the Jeep, but no one wants to read a list that long.

2

I had been with an auto insurance company on-and-off for years. But my car finance company sent me a flier for a cheap-rate company. I was quoted $400 for 6 months for our two cars. I said, “Great!”, and asked that the policy be started at the end of the month, when I could stop my old insurance.

Well, I didn’t think much about it until the business day after my cancellation. I then realized that the new company hadn’t sent me any paperwork. I called and they said that they couldn’t insure me because a ticket I thought was 3 years old was only 2 1/2. But they didn’t @!#?@! call me to tell me this!! So I was technically uninsured.

So I was on the phone trying to find some other insurance. One company seemed to have great rates. But once I mentioned our second car was a 1992 Suzuki Samurai, that raised a red flag on their computer. It seems that it has a high flip-over rate, so they couldn’t insure us at all (since it was in our ownership, even if we didn’t list it).

I called my original company’s national number to re-instate my policy. They couldn’t, because I had gone through an independent agent for the just-cancelled policy. He basically had first dibs on my business within 30 days of my cancellation. After I got a hold of him, I had to start a new policy and front 25% of the $850/6 month premium.

So instead of saving any money, I ended up spending $125 more that month on insurance. :frowning:

Judges 14:9 - So [Samson] scraped the honey into his hands and went on, eating as he went. When he came to his father and mother, he gave some to them and they ate it; but he did not tell them that he had scraped the honey out of the body of the lion.

3

Our cruise control is off-and-on …

–
Teeming Millions: http://fathom.org/teemingmillions
“Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com

4

Well, my current truck is doing well. But the cars I USED to drive…

Before the truck, I drove a 1990 Eagle Premier. Nice big engine, decent ride, but MAN that car was a science fair project. At present, Mom still drives it, despite its having the following flaws: the windows no longer roll down, the AC no longer works, the car has a tendency to overheat unless you run the heater all the time, and you have to carry some spare jugs of water in case the radiator runs low. When I had the car, the driver’s side lock broke; I had to clamber in through the passenger side until I got that fixed, which took months because they kept sending the wrong parts and then wanted to replace all the locks rather than the clip on the back of the lock.

Before that, I drove a 1984 Plymoth Turismo (yeah, I know you’ve never heard of it, look it up). It came to me with 166,000 miles. The armrest was scorched all to hell because the sunroof acted like a magnifying glass. The driver’s seat back wouldn’t stay upright, so I had to lay the back seat down permanently and lean the seat back against it for support. Also, the gears were extremely finicky; I was the only person who could find first in it, and since first was right next to reverse, it was a mighty delicate and danger-fraught operation. In its favor, it’s still going strong. I sold it with around 221,000 miles about 5 years ago, and the girl we sold it to just sold it again.

The most interesting thing that happened to me in that car? Picture this: I just pull into my driveway when my right front wheel (no, not the tire, the WHEEL, rim and all) decides to detach itself from the frame and go perpendicular. In other words, if all my other tires were going north, this one was heading east. Since I was going so slow, I just dragged for about a yard and stopped. It appeared that the mechanic who had worked on the car a week earlier hadn’t replaced the bolt that holds that wheel in place, because there was no sign of the bolt or that it had sheared off. It scared the hell out of me thinking what would have happened to me if that wheel had let go while going 60 or so.

My current truck, a 1996 Ranger, hasn’t let me down so far, but it’s the newest thing I’ve owned. Time will tell.

5

I just put $1,000. into my car on December 23rd, then my friend came to town and read the invoice and told me I got ripped off sigh… But, at least its working really well now!!

We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

6

I drive a poo-brown '92 Honda Accord. Everything works perfectly :cool:

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same.”
Kipling

7

Okay…I haven’t had any problems with this car. (1998 Chrysler Cirrus) Haven’t had many problems with either of my two cars, though…but I have a ton of good car stories. Here’s my two favorites.

First one happened to my dad. I was about…15-16 or so. We were getting ready to take our annual Labor Day trip to Williamsburg. My mom and I were getting packed, while my dad was supposed to pick up dinner on the way home from Boston Market. He called from his phone to say he was picking up dinner, and he’s be home soon. Half an hour goes by…no dad. Okay, so maybe traffic’s bad. Hour goes by. My mom and I get worried. My dad pulls in, having been in a wreck. Old woman barrelled down the cross street and hit his passanger side door. Was SO bad, the door wouldn’t shut. (And now for the amusing part…) My dad’s car was a Chrysler New Yorker. With the talking option. So when the door was ajar, the car would say “Your door is ajar.” And since the door wouldn’t shut because of the accident…it kept saying “Your door is ajar” ALL the way home, and in the driveway. Wouldn’t shut up until my dad disconnected the battery. rolling eyes

Story number two is me. It’s more amusing for the circumstances, really. It was in June 1997 - I’m getting ready to leave for my first day at my first full-time job. I pull out and get on the road near my house. There’s a backup onto Route 50, so I slow down to wait. Suddenly, I get rear-ended, causing a chain-reaction collision. Jerk who hit me speeds off. My car (a teal Shadow…DAMN that car was cute!) was totaled. I was okay, but VERY shaken up. So I call in to my office to tell them I’ll be late. (I have to call insurance, go home and get my dad’s car, still get there - a 40 mile commute…) And the phone system is broke. I can’t get through. I finally got there at 11:00 to discover they thought I wasn’t going to show up. My comment? “Well, I tried to call, but the phones were down. As soon as I could, I left a message.” Idiots never checked their voicemail. Oh well.

And Max…you left out the best part about yer truck! The fact that it’s PURPLE! :slight_smile:

“You are sweet, kind, and considerate… Like a grown up boy scout with tits!” - Brian, aka SDMB’s one and only Satan.

8

I drive an '81 Toyota station wagon with almost 200,000 miles on it. Unfortunately, age is finally starting to catch up with it. It’s currently in the shop getting the driveshaft and head gasket replaced. Those are major problems. Minor stuff includes:

Horn- doesn’t work.
Front turn signals- don’t work.
Outside doorlatch (front driver-side)- doesn’t work. (And if you want to see an absolutely comical spectacle, watch me squeeze my six-foot frame into the driver’s seat via the passenger side)
Window (front driver-side)- causes door to open if you roll it down too low.
Doorhandle (front passenger side)- missing
Radio antenna- long gone
Tape deck- doesn’t work
Speaker (driver-side)- missing
Air conditioner- doesn’t work
Heater- blows cold at speeds greater than 65 mph
Fan- doesn’t work (that’s the A/C fan, not the engine fan)
Door (rear, both sides)- dented
Hatchback- doesn’t lock
Engine- leaks oil (q.v. head gasket replacement above)
Power steering- makes funny noises when cold
Muffler- dented, also makes funny noises when cold
Shocks- need replacing badly.

I’m sure there are a couple more problems I can’t remember off the top of my head, but you get the general idea.

An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.

9

I drive a 1996 Peugeot 306. Just look that one up too, m’kay :wink:

It is still in almost perfect condition, since it only has 42.000 kilometers on it. Yeah, kilometers. Look it up :wink:

It does have some squeeking and cracking parts ever since I tried to total an Opel Astra. Cosmetically, the car is 100% again. But it’s the little stuff they can never fix…

But hey, who wouldn’t want to kill THIS butt ugly car: http://enterspace.org/ags/latest/img/astra.jpg

As opposed to my sleek hot hatch: http://www.fortunecity.com/silverstone/brandshatch/49/gti6a.jpg http://www.fortunecity.com/silverstone/brandshatch/49/gti6b.jpg (Big pic, but worth it !)

BTW, this isn’t mine, it’s just a similar one.

So, if all is fine, why bother replying to this thread ? Hey, what can I say, I just love to talk cars… carry on ladies and gents…

Coldfire

“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
10

I am driving the MOTHER of Neurotrashgrl’s car.

Its a '79 (YES, 79!!) Buick.

the knobs are long gone off the window-roller-downers

the clock readout is just dots.

the overhead light is gone…the battery had a mysterious ‘drain’ on it, so they busted out the light cover trying to get into it to check it.

My power steering makes a funny noise when its cold too.

I put 4, yup, count’em 4! liters of oil in the piece of shit yesterday.

The carbeurator spits out gas at an alarming rate. Apparently now the gas is mixing with the oil, resulting in more oil leakage/burning.

In a fit of pique this past summer, I accidentally pushed the signal light stick-thingy too far, and it broke off. I got it fixed, but it got caught on my jacket recently…so now I have to lean ahead, reach around the steering wheel, into the steering column, and find the little gear-thingy to use my blinker.

My car stalls constantly (carbeurator) so whenever I let off the gas, it quits…so I have to shift into neutral…rev the gas with my right foot, and apply the brake with the left. Moving AWAY from a stop is even more difficult.

My gas consumtion is actually DOUBLE what it was a week ago.

On the bright side, its paid for, I have good tires, and I dont pay for repairs…
Of course, Dad (who does the repairs and usually buys the parts) saysthe car has had it, and he isnt putting another dime into it.

Have you kissed your car today??

11

Okay, just last week I was fooling around with some digital video our company shot for a Tenneco Automotive (the major sponsor) at last year’s Detroit Grand Prix on Belle Isle.

I’m going to the race this year to shoot some more video and get full course access. Hospitality tent, pit areas, driver meetings and all the other crap. Hah!

“Your posting style resembles a cross between a spastic squirrel and one-handed ventriloquist.”
–Mullinator, paraphrased–

12

My first car was a 1979 Ford Futura. It always appealed to my sense of irony to be driving a 10-year old car called a “Futura.”

Anyways, the laundry list of things that went wrong with it would take forever, but probably the best/scariest/ second-most-amusing story about the car was the time I started it up and sparks shot out of the ignition. Then smoke- foul, greasy smoke- poured out of the ignition.

And the end result? Nothing. No problem. Ran just fine.

Now I drive a '94 Saturn with over 60,000 miles on it, and the worst problem it’s had is that the cigarette lighter no longer works.

JMCJ

This could be YOUR sig line! For just five cents a post, JMCJ Enterprises will place YOUR sig line at the bottom of each message!

13

I drive a mud-grey '90 Honda Accord. Everything works perfectly. Honda rules!

14

And my wipers are phantom wipers. They come on whenever they feel like it. Usually when it’s drier than the Mojave desert outside. Then I get to listen to “Squeak, Squeak. Squeak, Squeak.”

It’s an electrical problem, so I shudder to think what the mechanic will charge for this.

15

Well, my cars have all been fine, but my parents have a tendancy to run theirs into the ground…

Their '88 Century (which is still in use) somehow got most of the paint on the hood to come off. The upholstery on the ceiling came down. The turn signals dont work. The AC doesn’t work. The doors can only be opened from the outside. Tape player doesn’t work.

They also had an old van which, honest to god, before they junked it, would not turn left. You could see the road through some of the rust holes in the floor. Theives stole the ladder in the back. And I believe that it wouldn’t go over 40.

16

My '92 Grand Am’s driver’s side automatic lock doesn’t work, it’s now manual. The trunk light only comes on when you hold the trunk lid back (probably east to fix, but I rarely need it). Otherwise, it runs great (but, I am taking it in for an engine diagnostic soon).

My wife’s '93 Escort wagon (don’t laugh, it’s VERY dependable, if a bit slow) has lost two dash lights on the left right behind the fuel gauge. The digital clock/radio display goes black when you turn the lights (it’s only supposed to go dim).

We’ve kept them both pretty well (the Grand Am only had one previous owner, a guy I used to work with, and he kept excellent records) because we can’t afford (actually, REFUSE) to buy a new car.

17

Criminy, how do you people get your cars through inspection? My neighbor’s truck failed because the fender was dented on one side (compromising the crash resistance, or whatever), and when he got that fixed, they discovered the horn didn’t work so it failed again. My door is dented in a little bit- just cosmetic stuff- and I am afraid to find out if it will fail inspection because of that. If it does, I have $1500 of body work to look forward to.

Other than that, it works just fine. It’s a '93 Honda Prelude, and purrrrrs like it was just born yesterday.

18

Cold, that’s a kickass car you’ve got there. You taking any hitchhikers? :wink:

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.

19

Off the top of my head, I can’t think of anything that doesn’t work on my 14yr old, 198,000 miled OLDsmobile. Knock wood.

But now that the license plate is held on by duct tape (the rear end has been held together with bumper stickers for several years), I am expecting my White Trash membership card in the mail any day.

Someday when I have more time, though, I can tell you a marvelous story about zigzagging around the country in an 83 Cadillac. Much better than that crap Kerouac thought up.

20

My husband drives, on purpose, a 1969 Buick Skylark. Yes, I know, a “classic” car. Only if it is fixed up. He bought it because he always wanted a “hoopty” and he was going to fix it up. Well, he never seems to get around to it.

It runs great, has less than 100,000 miles (not a roll over–belonged to an elderly couple who bought it new and only used it as their “church car” on Sundays)and has minimal body wear.

The problem is that it is huge!! He cannot understand why 5’4" me doesn’t feel comfortable driving it! The button for the bright lights is located on the floor next to the brake pedal. Well, my legs are so short that I can either watch where I’m going or turn on the bright lights. And I cannot see the road either in front or in back of it because I can barely see over the steering wheel.

I, on the other hand, drive a 1987 Mazda B-2000 pick-up truck that has had every possible thing wrong with it in the past year! In fact, just yesterday we repaired a hole in the exhaust, the left turn signal and bled the brakes.

I hate cars. Give me a bike anyday.

The Top 10 Greatest Things About Procrastination: