Yikes, Scott! I just spewed Diet Coke from my never-been-cut nostrils! Bwahahahahahahahahah!
Dick Clark?
One of those dancing santas.
A copy of the movie Titanic with a laugh track dubbed from an episode of Full House.
A variety of AOL cd’s in a solid-gold, jewel-encrusted reliquary.
A leather-bound biography of John Edwards, with a forged foreword by Carl Sagan praising his remarkable abilities.
you should put a spork in there.
A Twinkie.
what about green ketchup
A hand grenade.
271st Century equivalent of Ed Begley Jr: Ah, “sporks”, “green catsup”. Look how primitive these barbarians were. It’s amazing they ever <KA-BLAMM-O>
Marshmallow Peeps and Circus Peanuts. A picture of Marilyn Manson.
Me too! I have the checks and everything, hehe.
I was thinking something by RonCo…maybe one of those things that scrambles the egg while it’s still inside its shell? I really like the spork idea though. That pretty much says it all.
Baby Jesus Butt-Plug.
I said confuse, not irritate. 
A Palm Beach County 2000 general election ballot?
A copy of Microsoft Windows 95
A couple of Star Trek technical manuals and a Klingon-English/English-Klingon Dictionary.
I’d put another time capsule inside the first, with instructions not to open it for another 25K years. That’d piss 'em off.
Beat you by 19 posts, bernse. 
Shit! I just saw it too! GAH!
That’s what I get for trying to be clever!
A stuffed monkey toy dressed in christening clothes with a microwaved CD worn as a necklace.