You seem to be conveniently ignoring this, from the OP –
*Did I mention that this is the dog that is NOT HOUSE TRAINED? This is the same dog, that when I was on the phone with him awhile back, he was screaming and yelling at her and chasing after her because she’d squatted on the living room floor.
Did I mention that this is the dog that Hallboy–who would step out in front of a moving bus to save an animal–HATES?
Did I mention that this is the dog that Hallboy reported had fleas and ticks when Hallboy was there for the summer?
Did I mention that this is the dog that my father brought to Braums (an ice-cream place in Tulsa) when Hallgirl2 and Son-in-Law were there and it SNAPPED AT Son-in-law?*
Are those reasons good enough?
Look, I have three dogs, and I prefer their company to almost every human in the world. But all anyone has to do is tell me *once *that they are not welcome to visit and I get the message. I would *never *take a dog where he is not wanted.
After reading the OP’s description (and yes, obviously that’s all we have to go on, we don’t have the father’s side of the story), can you honestly say that the father would keep this dog in a crate for the entire duration of the visit? A dog that had a litter of puppies ON HIS BED???!!!
This was your first mis-step - in assertiveness training, the only thing you need to say is, “Your dog is not welcome in my house” and repeat that (and ONLY that) as necessary. When you start giving explanations and other reasons, it looks like a negotiation to the clueless of the world. Not blaming you for your Dad’s cluelessness (okay, jerkishness); just hoping to give you an idea for next time. Oh, the rule of thumb for boundaries is to prevent someone from stepping on your toes, not step on someone else’s - if you’re stepping on someone else’s, you’ve moved from assertive to aggressive (i.e. your Dad). You have every right in the world to not let someone step on your toes. I hope that helps you find your way over the weekend (“Is this getting close to my toes? Yup - that’s too far.”)
What, you really think the kind of dingus who lets his pocket-dog mess in the floor, takes it to an ice-cream parlor and lets it bite at people is going to keep it crated all weekend and never let it out except to go out to pee? It is to laugh.
I mean, this guy has already ignored all the perfectly valid non-landlord reasons for him not to bring the dog in the first place, assuming (I guess) that the OP and her elderly cats will just muddle along somehow. Once the dog is ensconced in the OP’s home, the next natural step is for him to ignore all her perfectly valid reasons to keep the little beast kenneled all the time and let it out to shit in her floor, snap at her and her son, and terrorize her elderly cats.
You can’t give people like that a freaking millimeter, because they’ll take ten miles.
well, we have to accept the basic facts as given. Of course, said facts may becolored by a dislakie, but it seems clear the animal had fleas, does not have shots and isnt housebroken. Now, any pet owner" that has not housebroken their pet or given it it’s req’d shots is also the kind that will ignore fleas. In fact, the dad here seems borderline abusive to animals- you can be abusive to a dog by spoiling it and not giving it proper care, even though you may love it dearly.
Keeping a dog in a crate is also not a good solution as the dog will need to come out for walks, and the dad- not having taken “no, No, NO, NO” for a answer seems like the kind of guy who will also promise to keep the dog in the crate but let it go as soon as possible. Besides, the crate will not stop fleas or diseases spreading to the cats.
Dad, do not bring the dog to my house. Seriously. If you’re reading this, here’s your clue, your slap in the face, your “I cannot make myself any more clear” moment. Do not bring the dog to my house. Period.
…Oh, man, if my dad is a Doper, that would suck donkey balls…
I’m a landlord. I live in the second floor of a house I own, and rent out the first floor.
I do not allow dogs. This is based on sad experience. Twice I gave in, and both times the renters broke their promises to keep the dogs in the fenced back yard. It’s like someone said upthread “But it’s cooooooold!” The dogs scratched the floors and broke Venetian blinds by jumping at the windows. When I evicted one of these for non-payment of rent, they made sure, before moving out, that they kept the dog in the cellar for a couple days so it pooped all over the place.
I do allow cats, because cat owners in general have shown themselves to be responsible pet owners and tenants. I have cats myself upstairs.
The OP is right to stand firm. As a landlord if I found out someone had brought in a dog, against the lease, well, out they’d go. It’s all in black and white, there in the papers they signed.
I think she grasped it just fine. What she is saying (I think) is that phall shouldn’t have to bring up the landlord as an excuse. Making her own wishes known should be more than enough to get the point accross. (Not that it did, obviously.) If you don’t make excuses for your wishes, you imply that they are their own reasons. You also don’t give the moron hurdles to overcome.
If you say “My landlord won’t allow it”, some people will hear that as “We need to convince the landlord and then it will be OK” or “We need to hide it from the landlord.”
I am a dog freak and I am here to tell you: people who are into Chihuahuas are nuts, clueless, self-involved, checked out, and lots of other stuff I don’t want to say about your father.
I have never understood why anyone thinks it is remotely cute for any dog of any size or weight to be yippy and untrained and vicious, and about half the Chihuahuas I’ve ever met in my life were that exactly.
Cesar Millan just had an episode devoted to all the nasty Chihuahuas he’s dealt with, leading up to the latest, a little brute that was terrorizing everyone at a Pit Bull Rescue sanctuary! Cesar had a good laugh when he found out why he was there.
Then read it again. Now I will repeat - That is fine if she doesn’t want the dog in the house - just tell the truth instead of using the landlord as an excuse. She should say “I DON’T WANT THE FUCKING DOG IN THE DWELLING!” instead of “the evil landlord won’t allow it!”
The real underlying story is that phall0106 clearly has a lot of issues with her dad in addition to disliking his dog. I don’t know what they are, but they appear to be plentiful and deep-seated. Because if one is close to a parent or a relative, and loves them and are on good terms with them, they would surely find a way to accommodate them, especially if said loved-one was driving cross-country and had no place to stay. In the scheme of things, a little dirty annoying dog staying in a crate overnight is not that big of a deal if it is for a person you love. If it is a person you don’t like, then of course you are not going to want to do it, and that is totally OK.
Can anyone say they believe that this would be such a big deal if the child were on good terms with the parent?
I’m very close to my parents, and as much as I can’t stand yappy little dogs, I would not put my parents out after they drove cross country over such a thing.
Well, “ignoring” and “having no other choice” are two different things. Perhaps the dad had nowhere else to leave the dog. Perhaps he could not afford a kennel. Perhaps the aunt would not keep both dogs. If a loved-one had nowhere else to leave the dog, I would try to accommodate them, even if it were a temporary inconvenience or annoyance for me.
Yeah, I’m close to my parents too, and I wouldn’t make them stay in a hotel or board their dogs after driving across the country to see me. Know why? Because my parents would leave their dogs the hell at home if I said they weren’t welcome. And their dogs are house-trained, free of parasites, reasonably quiet, and absolutely not going to bite anyone. This is because my parents are not self-absorbed jackasses.