“Malform follows malfunction”
My sometimes sig line. Ten years ago, it was only on one Google site, now two! Keeps doubling every ten years, it will take over the Galaxy, and fulfill its metatextual destiny.
When I was in my early-mid teens (about 20 years ago), I came up with the word “fucksnot”.
As I type this I see it’s made it to Urban Dictionary.
I like to think I played a part in that 
S^G
Wasn’t that from Austin Powers?
I didn’t invent it, but I heard it, thought it was clever, and submitted to the Urban Dictionary myself: AnthropomorRoombism!
My friend Bryce, when the conversation turns to the topic of something particularly appealing or lucrative, says, “That’s a motive with a universal adapter.”
I’m sure I came up with “Man created God in his image” independently of the true originator, which pleased me as an angsty teen.
Pre-emptive capitulation: the act of giving up before you even start a project, i.e., presenting arguments as to why you’ll probably fail even before you try. Also lknown as CYA.
Possibly, but I’m pretty sure the Flying Hellfish episode of the Simpsons was out first. Yeah, just checked wiki and the Simpsons ep was '96 and Austin Powers was '97.
Jethro Tull had that way back in 1971.
Cunt rocket.
Also my addition to the Urban Dictionary.
A friend of mine invented this one that is popular around SW Michigan:
“He’s so far in the closet he found Christmas presents.”
I’ve been calling too tight pants on men nut huggers for years before I saw it in a magazine. It’s a pretty obvious one though, I’m sure a ton of people “invented” it
I always thought I had invented the term “hockey hair” when referring to a mullet.
It was the 80s and I had never heard the term “mullet” before, but all of the guys on my high school hockey team had that hairstyle.
I was floored when I heard someone say “hockey hair” years later. I’m sure it was invented simultaneously, but I had never heard it before I first said it.
Is that like “gymnast hair”? When the bangs are curled, poofed and starched? Did I invent that? I have no idea anymore.
Around my neck of the words I’ve got people saying “Baptist Hair” to when referencing the massively coiffed hair perched upon heavily make-up laden faces of Southern Baptist women. Don’t worry, the Baptist men don’t escape my wrath. Their hair is referred to as the “Evangelical Pompadour”
It’s catching on.
I’m fairly sure that I coined the phrase: I’m all over that.
Grossgusting: portmanteau of gross and disgusting. I first used this on a University of Michigan conference in 1987. Google results: 86.
Yumptious: portmanteau of yummy and scrumptious. I did not coin this, but I came up with it without (consciously) seeing it in print or online. Google results: 1,590.
Prezbyterian: a tenor-saxophone-playing disciple of Lester (Prez) Young. Google results relating to sax playing: 1 (not by me).
Broadnax green: a slightly greyish, soft medium green color usually called teal green. I had a sweater this color in about 1993 and the name just sort of hit me one day. Google results: 6, all but 1 referring to a hyphenated surname (Broadnax-Green). The last hit is from a very good friend who overheard me using the term.
I was talking with someone and I said something extremely bone headed. It was like word vomit I couldn’t stop. :smack: The person I was talking to looked at me and without the slightest hint of humor or even sarcasm says, “you’re not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.”
I was upset at myself for having the taste of Nike still in my mouth, but I was appalled…and more word vomit came and before I realized it, I replied, “No, but you’re obviously the biggest prick in the dildo drawer.”
I walked away with my “friend’s” jaw dropped.
It may not have taken off, but damn it felt good.
Here we get into the grey area between a saying and a thought.
From the play Inherit the Wind, by Lawrence and Lee (1955): “God created man in his own image and man, being a gentleman, returned the compliment.”
From there it’s usually attributed either to Mark Twain or Voltaire.
Abbot and Costello Movie - In Society.
Sung by Marion Hutton.