What foods should never exist, since there are so many better alternatives?
My 2 nominations: American cheese and iceberg lettuce.
White bread and “sugar-and-red” commercial catsup.
Miracle Whip.
Definitely American cheese. Cheez Whiz, too.
Red delicious apples.
American cheese is great for what it does, it melts well.
Two different versions of bois d’ panama. Why do we need two?
Budweiser/Schlitz/Miller’s/etc.
I’m damn glad you guys don’t make the food rules. American Cheese, Iceberg Lettuce, and Commercial Ketchup are required for a good cheeseburger. White Bread and American Cheese are essential for a grilled cheese sandwich. Miracle Whip and White Bread along with smoked Turkey breast makes a sandwich from my childhood I crave every few months. Red Delicious Apples are exactly what their name says. Next you are going to say we shouldn’t have Ground Beef (Round), Campbell’s Tomato Soup, or Saltine Crackers.
Has anyone here heard of comfort foods?
I second Spud, what’s wrong with you people?! <G> But seriously we need these foods
Thirded. You want to ban a food? Ban sushi. Bait is bait.
bois d’ panama? Other than this very thread, that phrase does not exist in Google.
My vote is margarine. Just use less butter if you’re concerned about fat.
White rice.
Make one with rye bread, cheddar and smoked gouda sometime, and then ask yourself how you managed to make do with banal and depressing grilled cheese sandwiches your entire life. 
Sweet pickles are an abomination. I will never eat a pickle that is not dill.
Now them’s fightin’ words… I’ll meet you outside, just as soon as I finish this remaining half pitcher of Bud.
It’s not the more, so much as the type.
I will agree with American cheese (there are plenty of better cheeses that also melt just fine…mmm, gruyere) and iceberg lettuce, although both are delicious on a cheeseburger. I can also live without plain white bread (i.e., Wonderbread), but leave sourdough alone. Red delicious apples are overly sweet and mushy; better to have a Fuji or Honeycrisp.
There are umpteen cereals that should also just go the way of the dinosaurs, such as the 57 varieties of corn flakes (including Kellogg’s Corn Flakes) and bran flakes, with or without raisins. Blech. They all have the appeal of sopping wet paperboard…now with dessicated fruit rocks!
Also, brussel sprouts and alfalfa sprouts. Bean sprouts get a pass because they add crunch to my pad thai, but there are much more flavorful greens than either of the former.
See, this is kind of like “White Chicken Chili”. Tell me it is “Spicy Chicken Stew” and I’ll love it. Tell me you are making me a nice bowl of Chili and I’ll be disappointed. Call your sandwich a fancy name like a “Charleston Fromage Sandwich” and I’ll probably think it is great. But tell me you are going to give me a “Grilled Cheese Sandwich” to dip in my Tomato Soup and give me that and I may have to kill you.
Parsnips. Who needs 'em with carrots around?
Why, yes, my mother fed us parsnips quite a lot when I was a kid. Why do you ask?
Iceberg Lettuce has one important role: to be in a wedge shape and deliver diced tomatoes, bacon, and delicious, delicious dressing.
If there was a good way to make stuffing without white bread, I’d ban that.
American macro lagers don’t have any redeeming qualities in my eyes. Mayo is strictly better than Miracle Whip. Gala and Fuji apples are vastly superior to Red Delicious.
Bois de Panama, pardon my French, the stuff that make marshmallows possible. It is a thickening agent that comes from two completely different species, one from Panama (duh) and one from Lebanon.
In the same way, we have two plants that give us “sweet potatoes,” the African yam and the New World sweet potato. Obviously a redundancy.