What religion has the best relocation package in Afterlife

In My Humble Opinion
21

There’s this thing called a “Bible.” You may have heard of it…

22

Also called Pastafarianism.

And their hell is also a beer volcanoe and a stripper factory. But the beer is warm and a little stale while the strippers have aged a bit and put on some weight

As far as I know you do still have to die to get to either of these places, bit of a bummer.

23

[QUOTE=Maus Magill;12951376
Where do I sign up?/QUOTE]

Right here.

24

I prefer a 10-page manual. I started the mentioned book, but found out it’s quite boring. My hopes were up - waited for the part where Peter Gabriel comes in - he never did:smack: You should have an index to find out where the good stuff is.

25

I never could get my mind around singing praises with the holy choir for eternity back when I was Lutheran.

I just knew that, being a humbly sub-standard Lutheran, I’d be so far in the back row that I’d need binoculars to see the director.

But then, as I understood it, they would have ways of making you enjoy it anyway.

Edit: Now that I think about it, ALL the Lutherans would probably be in the back row.

26

Not a holy book, but Mark Twain did a rif on the subject in “Captain Stormfield’s Trip to Heaven” (or something like that?). Anyhow, I like it. The cap’n being a sailor and all, he’s probably right about those wings being impossible to use as issued. Mark Twain being a gentleman and all, he probably left out a lot about the courtin’ opportunities in heaven.

27

No one ever said anything about them being chicks.

28

[Achmed The Dead Terrorist]Holy Crap! you are my virgins!?![ATDT]

29

I sort of liked this thread turned out chauvinistic. Let there be a tangent “Where are the Hunks of Paradise?” or “Being gay in Paradise” - and a tangent there was. I used the word tangent, because it’s so gay. Are there any closets in Christian Heaven to come out of - not that I need one? Seriously, these issues must be solved before getting there. You either tolerate other’s sexual preferences or the gay people are out. You cannot say there will be no sex/sexes, because you believe in resurrection of the body - hormones and all.

ETA: I know - gay hormones…

30

Are you drunk?

31

Should I?