Self-Storage Centers. It’s almost like the Starbucks and Discount Chain Drug Stores scourge. These facilities are popping up quicker than zits on a teenaged face. Five years ago, I vaguely recall seeing one in the Bronx and a few in NYC, but now they’re everywhere. The Yellow Pages devotes almost as many pages to storage centers as it does to slip-and-fall lawyers and Chinese take-outs.
I’m not really complaining, I’m just perplexed.
We’re supposedly a disposable society, Damnit! Doesn’t anyone throw anything out anymore?
Are there really that many Hester Mofets out there that need a place to keep their mannequins, antique Packards and severed heads?
I’ll concede the point that some people need self-storage:[ul][li]Maybe someone with a small urban apartment and no other place to keep their stuff, or[/li][li]A mail-order / e-bay entrepreneur who needs a place to store their wares, or[/li][li]A family who’s temporarily ‘between places’ - maybe waiting for that custom home to be built.[/ul]But that’s about it.[/li]
Perhaps one of my theories has a ring of truth to it[ul][li]Society has spawned a generation of disposophics.[/li][li]The story of the Collyer Brothers is incomplete. They somehow managed to sire a million children.[/li][li]In a heartless conspiracy. Local politicians secretly pay the proprietors of these storage centers rent to house the homeless and then itemize the expense as welfare hotel payments on budget reports. [/li][li]It’s PBS’s fault. The values quoted on The Antique Roadshow has people scared to death they might be throwing out something that might make their great-grandchildren rich someday. [/li][li]All these self-storage facilities are really owned by a consortium of Columbian drug lords and the Mafia. They simply use these facilities as a front to hide their labs and greenhouses.[/li][li]Hussein LLC, came up with a devious plot to hide their WMDs in storage centers throughout America [/li][li]As local taxes continue to rise, people convert their garages, basements & attics into illegal apartments. Unless they have plenty of closets, they’re forced to rent space outside the home. [/li][/ul]To paraphrase Tolkien, If more of us valued food, cheer and song instead of hoarding useless crap, it would be a merrier world with more landfills.
As I said before, I’m perplexed. I’m not making fun of anyone, I’m just curious.
I have a few questions for those of you who rent space at a self-storage center:[ol]What do you keep there? Valuables? Junk?How much does it cost? Do you consider the (I assume) $1-2[/] monthly charge a bargain when comparing it to what you’re storing?Does your place have an attic, garage, shed or basement ? If so, isn’t that enough room for all your ‘stuff’?[/ol]Thanks