My step grandma married my grandpa when she was in her late 50s.
She had been a caretaker for my dad and his siblings in the 1950s and 60s when their mom (my grandma) was ill. Some 30 years later grandma died, grandpa looked up this lovely young woman he had known all those years ago, she was still single and living in Ohio, they got married.
They were *blissfully *married for nearly 30 years until grandpa passed.
This is an interesting thread that leaves me itching for more details. If someone gets married significantly later than what is typical, why did it take them longer to find someone? Or were they not even looking until later in life?
I can think of two people who got married for the first time rather late in life. One of them is my friend’s husband, who was in his early fifties when he married. In his case, I suspect it took so long because his social skills are awkward. As for how it worked out? Well, my friend has told me that she no longer feels in love with him, but has had discussions with him and agreed to stay married for logistical reasons. This friend is on her third marriage, has three children from her first marriage, and has to go to court pretty frequently for custody disputes. She has one child with her new husband, and wants to stay married to him so that they can both father the child and see him all the time, as opposed to having to work out custody agreements.
The other one I can think of is my uncle. He was in his mid-forties when he got married. I remember him having a g/f when he was in his thirties, and I asked my mom why they weren’t getting married. She told me that he wanted to get married, but she didn’t want to because he had a low-paying job without much upward mobility. As for how that one worked out, he not only got married for the first time at an unusually old age, he also died at an unusually young age. I think they were only married for three years before he died. The woman he married has not gotten remarried since then, but wanted to have a child, so when she was in her mid-to-late forties she was artificially inseminated and is now a single mom.
n/m
Less than 3 months ago, I married the most incredible woman I have ever known, truly someone who is practically perfect in every way.
I am 49, she is 45, it is the first and will be the only marriage for both of us (no children for either one of us, but I now have 2 “adopted” guinea pig daughters) after both of us being alone for the vast majority of our lives (we each had 2 serious Significant Others in our past, the most recent for both of us over a decade ago) and the way we met was so outlandish, so random, so clearly destined that it wouldn’t even make a decent Romantic Comedy, as it is simply just too incredible to be believable. (Long story short, we met in a city neither one of us had ever been in before, in a country where neither one of us spoke the language, and on a day neither of us had planned in advance on being there)
Both of us had accepted the fact that we were fated to be alone forever, and were both closed to the idea of any romance, although once I met her and found out how amazing she was, I allowed myself to daydream a little about a future with her.
Finally, the conversation we initially had (that lasted only perhaps 5 minutes) was the longest she had ever spoken English in her entire life, although she is fluent in German, Russian and speaks French passably, and at this point her English is excellent, much to the amusement of her friends and family, as she had professed a hatred of the English language since she was young.
“Goes To Show You Don’t Ever Know…”
54 years, 11 months.
It definitely would be the friend of my mother’s who entered into a same-sex marriage a few years ago, and I’m fairly sure they hadn’t been together for all that long before tying the knot, unless the guy was just deep in the closet in the years beforehand. I don’t really know for sure, but certainly the guy he married kept getting mentioned a whole lot leading up to the time they got married, while my mother had been in contact with him for years and years and talking about what he was doing at family functions occasionally, as their parents were originally friends/neighbors or something so it wasn’t like it was her specifically that was friends with him - my entire mother’s family is sorta.
edit: He was probably 60-65.
73 year old man married a 62 year old woman; first for him and second for her (she married in her teens and divorced in her 20s). They had 12 terrific years together and were a really fun couple to be around.
Early 40s. He was the classic bachelor playboy. She had a teenage daughter. They’ve been together about 15 years now.
According to this webpage (whose information comes from 2015, which is the most up-to-date data I can find for proportions, not just average ages), 7% of American women get married for the first time in their teens, 53% get married for the first time in their twenties, 21% get married for the first time in their thirties, 6% get married for the first time in their forties, 4% get married for the first time in their fifties, and 4% get married for the first time in the sixties, while 3% of American men get married for the first time in their teens, 45% get married for the first time in their twenties, 28% get married for the first time in their thirties, 7% get married for the first time in their forties, 7% get married for the first time in their fifties, and 5% get married for the first time in the sixties. So it’s not quite true that most American men get married for the first time in their twenties. It’s narrowly true that most American women get married for the first time in their twenties. Have fun looking for more recent or more finely divided or more geographically diverse information:
My cousin and his wife were both well over 50.
Royal Nonesutch writes:
> . . . the way we met was so outlandish, so random, so clearly destined that it wouldn’t even make a decent Romantic Comedy . . .
The moment I read your post, I began writing a film script. I finished it and sold it. It’s been cast and production is about to begin. It will be released at the end of this year. Prepare for what you’re going to say to the interviewers who will be asking you to compare your life with the movie.
My uncle married for the first time when he was in his early 50s. I think they’ve been married about 15 years now. It was her second marriage. This is the uncle I don’t speak to anymore so as far as I know they’re still together.
I remember him having a long-term girlfriend when I was a kid. She was with him for several years at least. Then all of a sudden she was just gone and he never dated anyone for I don’t even know how long. I don’t think saying he was single for decades would be an exaggeration. Then he met back up with his now-wife at his high school reunion and they were married a few months later.
I got married for the first time when I was 48. We hadn’t been living together for decades or years, we met, dated for an ordinary period of time, briefly lived together, and then got married. We’ve had two children.
As to my life before that, I’d had some long-term relationships. One was especially long-term – I lived with that woman for twenty years.
Where are you getting this from? I don’t doubt it; I’m just curious where one would find such information.
There are lots of webpages with such information. One is the webpage I cited. Here’s a webpage withe a table saying that about half of all Americans get married by 28 or 29 (as of 2018), but in 1962 it was about 21 when about half of them got married:
Here’s a webpage with median age at marriage from 1950 to 2018:
Here’s one with another way of measuring those married:
Here’s another one with average ages:
When I was around 10, our next-door neighbor’s husband died. She was probably in her 70s, but she seemed so ancient to this kid.
Some time later she got married again, and it was a first marriage for her new husband, who was in his 70s.
Damn, she was quite the bitter old woman. I have absolutely no idea how she got married again. Maybe she had a completely different side to her.
I know that my new friends here at Straight Dope are a cynical lot, and I also know that almost every couple thinks their story is unique and magical, and rightfully so, but seriously, there are no words to describe the all but impossible circumstances under which we met, and the many ways we were, and still are, complete, total polar opposites in our personal lives and histories, (she grew up in Communist Poland in a working class family, I am from an upper(?) middle-class American background) yet in a few significant ways, we have led virtual parallel lives, and share core fundamental values, despite the vast cultural gulf that should by all logic separate us.
The connection that we have is incredible, all the moreso given where we both came from, (literally and figuratively) but I can’t reasonably expect anyone else to “Get It” when we ourselves both marvel together every day about how we are possibly together against such astronomical odds and how blissfully, nakedly happy we both are in our new life togther.
I wish the same for any others who have not given up looking for true love after a “Certain Age”.
I would love for my life to be such a fantastic romantic comedy.