Inspired by this this thread. But first of all I would like to make it clear I am not pitting the thread, or the poster. It just reminded me of the crap some people have felt the need to share with me recently.
I am pitting every know it all, and busy body who feels the need to share their opinion on my up coming marriage. Yes I am 22. 22 is young. I am also an adult. And I think after 5 years together its okay for two adults in love to get married. Two adults who went to school together, dated, did the long distance thing while they attended university in different counties, and have now graduated, have since moved into an apartment, which they pay for with the salaries from their full time jobs.
If I wanted your opinion, I would ask for it.
If you ask me why I am getting married. Next time, I will smack you round the head. Repeatedly.
I do not get this crap from those closest to me. Do you know why? Because they know I am not making a mistake. So take your opinion, and stick it.
22 seems really young to get married. In retrospect. I got married at that age and we’re celebrating ten years next July. You sound way, way more together than I was when we got married. Screw the naysayers. Just keep doing what you’re doing that seems to be working! And congratulations and best wishes.
My parents got married when they were both 18. They’re gone now, but they did live long enough to celebrate 51 years together. You’re old enough to do what you want. I agree, anyone who has a problem with your getting married can suck it.
Congratulations to you both. May your marriage last 'til death.
22 doesn’t sound particularly young to be getting married, especially given that you are out of school and pursuing a career. Seems completely conventional to me.
Congrulations! My response to “why get married that young?” is “why not?” As you said, you’re an adult, not a teenager. You can make your own decisions. I especially don’t see why people are encouraged to wait to get married when they are living together and sharing their lives, they just haven’t made it “legal.” For some of us, being married is a public sign of commitment and if you’re going to consider yourself commited and live with someone, why shouldn’t you be able to say “this is my husband?” or “this is my wife?”
As for the naysayers, fuck 'em. I’ve known plenty of 22 year olds who are ready to be married and plenty of 52 year olds who are still finding themselves. You don’t have to live your life according to someone else’s timeline.
I married “young”, too, and rather quickly after dating only very briefly - we’re about to celebrate our fourth year anniversary with no signs of slowing down; both happy with our careers, earnings, friends, family, and we have similar goals for the future - and some of same goals together. I wish you the same happiness in your married life that I experience every waking moment.
I think it’s a class thing. In America, nowadays, the lower you are in the social scale, the earlier you are likely to marry. Poor and working-class people might get hitched during or just after high school, middle-class people after college, professional and executive-class and overclass people wait until they’re done with grad school and established in a career. (Really poor people, of course, might have lots of kids from their early teens and never marry at all.)
I’ve got mixed feelings here, though. Certainly you’re free to do exactly what you wish, and your reasons listed here are sound. And it’s not the business of random strangers to make you defend yourself, nor your choices.
That doesn’t mean that it’s automatically wrong for friends or family to seek reassurance that young couples know what they’re getting into. (Of course the majority of the people I knew who married that young married while active duty in the Navy, and the majority of those ended up regretting it. It does color my view of the idea of marriage at a young age. I know that’s not the normal situation for young marriages, but it takes me a moment to remember the different circumstances.)
Having complete strangers asking you what you’re thinking is beyond rude, as is having your friends continue to demand that you explain yourself.
ETA: Ivylass, wasn’t your marriage stressed by active duty Naval service on the part of Ivylad? I think that makes for more stresses than any kind of growing pains can cause.
And I’m with you on telling people to stuff it. Getting married that young is not uncommon in the least. My parents got married around that age, and they’ve been together for 30 years now. And they waited longer than a lot of other couples they know (who are also still together). If you can make a long distance relationship work, I’m sure you can make marriage work–LD relationships are hard to maintain. Besides, part of being an adult is making your own choices and living with the consequences–which I hope are nothing but good for you. It’s none of their business.
You sound way, way more together than I was when we got married. Screw the naysayers. Just keep doing what you’re doing that seems to be working! And congratulations and best wishes.