To the person who said I was too young to be married:
Ahem!
Excuse me but I didn’t know you had to be a certain age to be married these days. When I got married four years ago, that wasn’t the case. People who were of legal age got married all the time, even if they were ‘very very young’ and were ‘incapable of knowing what they were doing’(your words not mine). I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to go to fucking college to know whether or not I would love this man for the rest of my freaking life. I think that for someone my age who’s been married as long as I have I know exactly what I’m doing just like I knew what I was doing when I said “I Do” four years ago, you idiots. Yes, I realize that people who marry at such a young age are 3 times as likely to get a divorce and I appreciate your concern, really. But STOP bugging me about my age and how long I"ve been married. I know you’re just waiting for the day I file divorce papers but it’ll be a cold day in hell before that happens. I am commited to this marriage, even if it seems totally alien to you that some one my age can even form a serious commitment to anything other than pizza, cheap beer and FRIENDS re-runs.
In short…I know what I’m doing and don’t need your help to ‘ruin my life’(again,your words not mine). So go fuck off and have a niiiiiiiiiiice day.
IDBB you may now return to your regularly scheduled ranting
I only posted this rant because I caught a glimpse of pregnant unwed mothers on Jerry Springer today and for some odd reason it made me think of a customer I had the other day at work who ranted at me for marrying so young. She was an olderish,maybe late 40’s woman, who said that marrying so young would cause me to ruin my life and I was like “HELLO!I"ve BEEN married for almost 4 years now and we were together for 3 years before that.I don’t think it’s ruined my life at all.”:rolleyes:
Ha, try marrying young and marrying someone who had kids already! I’m 21 and have a 4 year old. People alternately think I’m a whore or the babysitter.
LOL@superbee’s comment*:DNo he’s not…but I still dig ‘bad boys’(ie…Johnny Dep, Vin Diesel,The Rock…etc) anyway. I dig the bad boys but I married a good boy.shrug
Cessandra–I can see why they’d think you’re the babysitter but a whore? C’mon…I don’t think a girl’s a whore unless she acts/ dresses whorish.
Some people are morons.
I have a niece who married at 19 (made all the more “shocking” by the fact that the guy she married was 26). Her age, combined with the fact that they had a 3 week engagement, convince everyone on his side of the family that she was pregnant. Ironically, it took them 3 years and fertility drugs to have a kid! BTW, they’ve been married 9 years now, and are doing fine. Good luck to you!
My sister didn’t get married particularly young, but she married a guy from a small town. When they had their first child 3 years later, she is certain that some of the gossips just thought it was a very long pregnancy.
I know someone who got pregnant unexpectedly at a young age, but thought long and hard about it. She loved her boyfriend; they got married; they had the baby. She was a thoughtful and dedicated mother (I was on a parenting mailing list with her). Still, because she was young and looked even younger, some people thought that justified them saying very unsupportive and rude things to her. Complete strangers, no less. It really irked me.
Some people are ready to marry young, some people aren’t. It’s really not anyone’s freakin’ business but your own. I visited my brother and his wife in Arizona recently and was amazed at all of their friends. No one was over the age of 23 (except my brother and his wife, by about 2 or 3 years) and every last one of them was married with at least one child.
I just turned 25 and can’t even imagine being married right now, much less having a child, but you know what? Different strokes for different folks.
Some people mature faster than others shrug Some never at all
Oh, god, it brings back memories. Painful memories. “Are you pregnant?” “No.” “Oh, so you’re pregnant?” “No, I’m not pregnant. We just want to get married.” “But you’re so young. Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” “Yep. Positive.”
I didn’t know that 20 was supposed to be young. My parents married at 18 and have been married for ::counts on fingers:: 30 years now. I married at 20. My sister was 21, my brother 23 (his wife was 19). I’ve been married for almost 9 years now. Both of my siblings for 2. Neither my sister nor I were pregnant when we got married (my sister-in-law was, though).
It was the age combined with the eight week engagement (my parents will never forgive me for that one ) that led people to their erroneous conclusion. But it still pissed me off to no end.
Try this one on for size: married at age seventeen. To a twenty five year old. After being engaged for six weeks. And then deciding after being married for ONE MONTH that you want to start a family. And then getting pregnant RIGHT AWAY.
So far no one’s actually been rude to us, but I in my paranoid (and sometimes rightfully so) mind think that pretty much everyone besides my parents, probably his, and a few close friends probably believe we only got married cause I was already ‘knocked up’.
My husband and I got married when we were 20 and 21. After an engagement of less than a week. (We’d lived together for a while previously, though.) Those ages plus that engagement time led everyone to believe that I was pregnant. I really got tired of answering that question after a while.
For the record, we’re still very happy (It’s only been 2 years.) and I don’t foresee any problems in our future. Marrying young isn’t a problem, and in and of itself should have no basis on how long a couple will stay together.
My husband and I married last year, when we were both 21. We had been together for 3 years, and wanted to wait until we could serve champagne at the reception!
We’re not planning on having children anytime soon, though, so thankfully I won’t have to learn how to deal with any ‘children having children’ comments (yet). I do have married friends my age who are met with scorn and indignation at the fact that not only are they married, but they have the audacity to have reproduced!
I find the sheer look of shock and amazement on people’s faces fascinating when I tell them that I’m married and own my own home. My husband and I both knew about a year into the relationship that we would get married.
At the time, I didn’t think of 21 as ‘young’ when it came to marriage, but I find that people constantly feel the need to express this view to me. My mom was 33 when she got married, and 36 when she had me. I can greatly appreciate the benefits of starting a family at this age, as my mother always seemed more at ease with her life than the parents of my friends, and as such, hubby and I have decided to wait about 5-10 years to have kids.
Both my husband and I are still in college, working full time. It’s tough, yes, but I find that I’m doing much better in school now that I have such great support, and that my life is now focused towards realistic, ambitious goals. I took some classes before meeting my husband, and I found that most of my peers were too busy discussing which party to go to and complaining about their part time jobs to really acheive much of anything in their studies.
I was just thinking that before I read your post. The only thing I think is funny about people marrying really young is when they can’t even drink champagne at their own wedding. Legally anyway. Just the idea of being someones husband or wife and not even being able to buy a beer is comical to me. But not in a bad way. I feel the same way about people that have kids before they’re 21 (by their own choice, not accidentally).
Of course, I think the drinking age should be lowered to 18, because it’s even more comical to me that you can go off and fight a war before you can drink a beer. :rolleyes:
I got engaged in August to a man quite a bit older than me (about 10 years), after being with him for about 5 years. We set a date and everything (May 17, 2003, for those curious).
Thing is, I am pregnant. I wasn’t when we got engaged. Actually, I probably was, but I didn’t find out until September. For the record, we’re both thrilled. We’re still going to get married, but not in May. Obviously, since I’m having a baby sometime around the 7th, I probably won’t get married 10 days later. Yeah, I have to deal with strangers making stupid comments. Just about a week ago a woman said to her husband (while I was at work), “Look at these big rocks (our rings) these girls have! (Me and a coworker)”, then, to us, “You girls are far too young to be married!” I’m sorry lady, let me just call my fiance and let him know…
On top of that, my future MIL is a raging Protestant Fundie who thinks I’m sinful. But that part of the story is far too long to get into.
For now, anyway.
Oh, and for reference… I’m not yet old enough to buy my own beer here in the States.
Ick, SilverFire, bad enough when it’s strangers, but your own MIL, that sucks. I’m lucky that my in-laws are the greatest people on the face of the planet. (My husband is not so lucky…) BTW, my husband is 9 years older than I am, too, but since I look about 16, and he doesn’t… Probably one of the reasons people think I am the babysitter.
) that led people to their erroneous conclusion. But it still pissed me off to no end.