What school administration has been up to all summer.

The BBQ Pit
1

Here’s a letter we got today in the mail directly from the IPM Coordinator! I didn’t even know we had one.

I just can’t get over the mumbo jumbo hoops they jump through just to send a simple note. Our language has gotten out of control and so have the collective ego of the entire population.

I’ll use blue text for my comments as we go.

Dear Parent or Guardian:
The Pennsbury School District uses an Integrated Pest Management (IPM) approach for managing ~ insects, rodents, and weeds.

Ok, I’ll let that go. I’d have probably said something like; we take a proactive approach for pest control. Integrated? Like they multi-task or something? They kill all critters.

Our goal is to protect every student from pesticide exposure by using an IPM approach to pest management. Our IPM approach focuses on making the school building and grounds an unfavorable habitat for these pests by removing food and water sources and eliminating their hiding and breeding places.

We try to keep the school as clean as possible. Period!

We accomplish this through routine cleaning and maintenance. (See?)

We routinely monitor the school buildings and grounds to detect any pests that are present. The pest monitoring team consists of our building maintenance, office, and teaching staff and includes our students.

Team? Are we fucking kidding here? My Kid is joined up for the Pest Monitoring Team! Will there be a trophy ceremony. Do I have to buy overly priced fucking uniforms?

Pest sightings are reported to our IPM coordinator who evaluates the “pest problem” and determines the appropriate pest management techniques to address the problem.

Where to start with this one! Sightings? Report to the “IPM Coordinator.” To paraphrase George Carlin, “Sounds important. But it isn’t!" Evaluate the “pest problem”. Why is this wrapped in quotes? Is that what they do with ALL technical jargon we might not understand? Appropriate pest management techniques? Ok there. A big 10-4 on that one. I copy.

The techniques can include increased sanitation, modifying storage practices, sealing entry points, physically removing the pest, etc.

Sounds almost military in nature, doesn’t it? I hope they keep a look out for terrorists while their sealing the entrances.
From time to time, it may be necessary to use pesticides registered by the Environmental Protection Agency to manage a pest problem. A pesticide will only be used when necessary, and will not be routinely applied. When a pesticide is necessary, the school will try to use the least toxic product that is effective. (DUH) Applications will be made only when unauthorized persons do not have access to the area(s) being treated. Notices will be posted in these areas 72 hours prior to application and for two days following the application.
Parents or guardians of students enrolled in the school may request prior notification of specific applications made at the school. To receive notification, you must be placed on the school’s notification registry. If you would like to be placed on this registry, please notify the District in writing. Please include your email address if you would like to be notified electronically.
Fair enough I guess.
If a pesticide application must be made to control an emergency pest problem, notice will be provided by telephone to any parent or guardian who has requested such notification in writing. Exemptions to this notification include disinfectants and antimicrobial products; self-containerized baits placed in areas not accessible to students, and gel type baits placed in cracks, crevices or voids; and swimming pool maintenance chemicals.
Huh? Where did swimming pools come into this? “self-containerized baits placed in areas not accessible to students”. Nice word! So, my kid wont be coming home with a fucking glue trap stuck to her head? Good to know.

Each year, the District will prepare a new notification registry. If you have any questions, please contact John Hahn, IPM Coordinator.
Hey John, It must be stressful being the IPM Coordinator. I can imagine the sleepless nights. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on remember you have a team behind you.

Sincerely,

THOMAS P. GILLETTE Director of Physical Plant & Facilities ipm-805
Whatever. Stop wasting fucking paper!

I feel a little better. thank you.

2

Your tax dollars at work.

3

The very first thing a bureaucrat above the level of peon does when assuming a new position is attempt to justify the existence of said position.

And yeah, you make fun of the cranial-placement glue-trap now, but just wait 'til the first lice outbreak!

4

Dear Parents,

We use chemicals but aren’t actually trying to kill your kids. Please relax.

Signed

The Admin

The problem of course is that just having that would make the letter head look all unbalanced.

5

Looks like some parent threw a fit or the school was sued.

This is what happens when people are idiots.

6

…we can do it completely accidentally anyway.

7

Is there something that I am missing here that makes this pitworthy? The school is notifying parents of their policy regarding using chemical pesticides around their children. What is so horrible about that?

8

In other words:

Your kids are pigs!! If we had to depend on them to keep themselves clean, we would have to declare ourselves a hazardous waste dump. So we have decided to spray chemicals so toxic, that we plan to be on vacation when they are used.

9

Mine explained why it was sent right in the first paragraph.

In April of 2002, the Governor signed into law a bill that mandates all 501 school districts in the state to adopt a IPM (blah blah blah)

Then pretty much the rest is the same as you received.

10

You’re definitely missing something here.

Well, for one…it’s the abuse of the language and paper. So my kid’s on the IMP team now and in addition to trying to not “be left behind” she’s now part of some crazy rodent sightings team?? And she has to report any exoskelatonal creatures to the team leader?

The letter just goes on and on to the point of rediculousness. My problem is: stop being a word whore and state your purpose even if it’s as simple as an exterminating memo. I’m tired of the reams of paper that get sent home even before school starts. Schools should teach people to be efficient and concise.

And while I’m here (because I know it’s coming) they send home this coupon book with our kids each year. If the kids don’t bring it back the parents get charged $25.00. How nice to smuggle your fucking clever get rich quick schemes in my kids schoolbag.

Fuckbags!
Is that better?

11

I hate to try to bring reason and logic into the pit, but integrated pest management is an actual technique, not just something the school made up. It’s pretty much exactly what’s described in the letter: using different methods to manage and eliminate pests. By incorporating other methods (like increased sanitation, modified storage practices, and sealing entry points) with pesticide applications, you can cut often down on the amount and the strength of pesticides applied, which isn’t a bad thing, especially when peoples’ kids are going to be around.

The IPM “team” thing is ridiculous feel-good garbage, but the program itself seems pretty sound. The IPM Coordinator is necessary due to the nature of the pesticides being used. The use of many pesticides listed with the EPA carry personal liability - there has to be one person certified to supervise the purchase, storage, and application of the pesticide, and that person bears legal responsibility for everything that happens with those pesticides. The IPM Coordinator is most likely personally responsible for following state and federal regulations covering pesticide applications, keeping records of applications (far more detailed than just “sprayed for ants”), keeping the application area off-limits for prescribed periods of time, making sure chemicals are stored properly, etc. He’s also the guy that gets sued if little Johnny gets exposed to something he shouldn’t have

OK, he’s one of the guys who gets sued. But it’s not a trivial job. That shit is dangerous - pesticides are designed to kill living things, and it’s important to use them safely.

-Enginerd
Certified Pesticide Applicator

12

How sad that they have to resort to such desperate measures to raise funds to educate your child. :rolleyes:

13

Actually, in programs like this you are supposed to designate a team for several reasons. First, you can’t assign one person ie. “Mr Smith will patrol the school grounds for roaches” because Mr. Smith has days off and can’t be everywhere all the time. Second, the assignee should be someone who frequents the area to know what is normal and what is not ie. the lunch trays should be left on the drainboard in racks to dry because you can’t stack them wet or dry them with a towel. Who uses the school more than the kids? Third, it lets people know that they should report something they see. Now, I can’t imagine a kid seeing a roach and not pointing it out, but it tells them that they should report it and to whom they should report it and combats the ‘roaches aren’t my job’ mentality.

Now, if you want to call it something else, fine…but team gets results.

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[hijack] Ouch! ouryL, was it really necessary to include the full OP in your post? Quoting and using <snip> to cut out most of it would have been better. Seeing as how your comments clearly addressed the OP, I don’t think it was necessary to quote anything. Simply saying "regarding the letter in the OP…"would have worked.[/hijack]

15

This is about the dumbest response that one could give. You make it read as if I’m sitting home on my welfare ass while someone else jumped in to help educate my kids because otherwise they’d be idiots.

I pay around $4000.00/yr in property taxes and roughly $3600.00 goes to the school system (probably more since last time i checked). I pay to educate** my child.** :rolleyes:

The garbage they send home usually benifits the PTA and of course whatever third party who supplies the garbage in the first place. It’s not that they solicit money from me through my kids (well yes it is. That too bugs me). It’s the tactics they use. If my kid doesn’t bring back the item then by default I purchase it .

Doesn’t that sound a little like the selection of the month columbia records uses, or no more late fees at blockbuster? It’s stupid bullshit underhanded marketing schemes and I don’t fucking like it. When my kids join anything extra at school I pay for the uniforms and whatever other costs are involved.

My kids are not salesmen for the school or on any bug sighting team. They do not serve as a function for the school but the other way around. Get it?

As for the IPM team, I understand the importance of the job and I don’t mean to undermine that. I just don’t need to be sent a lengthly memo every time the guy takes a shit.

16

I always thought the students were the pests.

17

You’re right, the IPM team is important, but I think making the students a part of the "team goes too far. They’re there to learn, not to hunt down mice, and it isn’t their job to look for or take care of pests. The IPM team should be made up of people who know what they’re doing, not people who will latch onto any distraction to avoid learning geometry.

Legally, you probably do. You don’t have to read it, but they have to send it.

18

I like the way the students are now part of a “team” - it’s necessary to set up a formalized system that says, in effect, “if the students notice mice or roaches we’ll do something about it.” What, did they used to just tell them it was a biology lesson?

19

He frequently does that, regardless of how many times he has been politely asked to knock it the hell off.

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:: checks the forum ::

I don’t think ouryL ever comes back to a thread once he’s posted. I suspect he’s mildly mentally retarded or something along those lines based on the way he posts and his bizarre use of smileys. It’s a semi-regular thing to see people wondering why he rolleyesed them in GQ. His style is weird and anti-social in that it irritates everyone else but it never changes.