Do you want to know about the mating habits of the human-mangani hybrids in Opar? Are you interested in the psychology of Blade Runner replicants, or the rules of magic in the PotterVerse? Well, here’s your chance to indulge your curiosity.
Rhymer Industries has a couple of dozen intradermal universal translators we haven’t use for. Oh, they *work *perfectly well; just like the translators on Star Trek: The Next Generation, in fact, as they give the user instant fluency in any language the user hears or reads, and of course are functionally invisible. But from my point of view they’re spoiled, as somebody forgot to insert the remote-activated-cranium-exploding-feature I use to keep the minions in line. Probably I should recycle them, but we finished the last quarter at a huge profit on account of selling weapons to both sides in most every ongoing war on the planet, so I’m feeling generous. Name the fantasy or science-fiction culture you’d like to spend a few months studying (and what you hope to learn), and I’ll be happy to send you there by Burroughs-Libby continua portal. I’ll lend you one of the aforementioned translators; enough local clothes and currency to last you six months; a single hand-held weapon of your choice if you feel you need it; a hyperspace cell phone so you can call for a trip and, of course, a trip by Burroughs-Libby continua portal there and back. The sci-fi/fantasy universes are all on a different time axis than our world, so the time you spend there won’t count for beans here. In return all I’ll expect is first look at your notes when you return in case you find out anything [del]profitable[/del] of scientific interest.
Question. I know that the language issue is solved. Do I have to worry about being able to explain my presence if I end up in a SF world where I don’t have the right papers (or id card, or biometric id, DNA signature in Empire database), or if I end up in either an SF or fantasy world and don’t have the cultural knowledge to survive (don’t understand manners, don’t know how to salute the totalitarian emperor, act out of place to the extent that I draw unwanted attention to myself), or is that going to be handled (somehow) for me? Or is that what the hand weapon is for?
Pretty much all of them. But, the one that really makes me wistful is Dune. I would seriously like to scarf melange until my eyes were too blue too see, and sapho juice, until I was a human computer. I’d even take the Bene Geserit drugs, stopping before the poison, because I don’t want to be one of those who tried and died.
I’d love to send you there, and I’ll even by nice and point out that you really meant to say “Lyra’s world” rather than “the world of the spectres” or “that place with the wheeled pachyderm people.” For being the first to think of it you can borrow a tricorder and a iPad 24 if you want, but I foresee a problem. You’re right that your daemon will emerge when you arrive – but how are you going to get it back in when you come back?
Hmm. We can and will provide you with fake papers, a hacked entry in the relevant databases, and so forth. But the cultural knowledge is putting the cart before the horse; you’re going there to study, after all. Best bone up on the Kushiel novels or whatever. And yes, that’s what the hand weapon is for. Choose wisely, and no, you may not have Mjolnir.
Earthclan by David Brin. They’d be pretty rational and accepting. Plus, I could study the feasibility of turning dolphins, chimpanzees and dogs into intelligent beings!
Since the Culture has already been taken I’ll say Alastair Reynolds Revelation Space series. I’d love to spend time with some of the Ultras on their starships. (Assuming they didn’t just try to kill me, of course)
In Iain M. Banks’ Culture universe? I think there is an endless field of study, considering just how far ahead they are supposed to be. And, by the way, no need for ticket back.
It just goes to show what about that book stuck with me and what didn’t that I couldn’t remember the characters or the world, just that it was in the first book and there were DAEMONS!
As for how I’ll get it back in, dammit, I’m a fantasy reader not a doctor!
Me, I’d want to visit the Discworld. Magic there seems to follow actual laws, of a sort which would be comprehensible to a human versed in the laws governing our own universe, if one actually took the trouble to try. I’m sure Ponder Stibbons could find a place for me in his research group, and for starters, I have some ideas for how to improve Hex.
Bujold’s Vorkosiverse, Bea Colony. I want a quick course in interrogation chemistry specializing in fast penta with a copy of the formula. While I am there, I plan to get a thorough medical exam with an eye towards repairing my diabetes, my cardiac issue, and my joint deterioration/various forms of arthritis repaired by cellular therapy. [more or less they make custom nanobots and stem cell injections that go in and repair what ails one.]
I am actually hoping for a job as an interrogation minion in the HR department when I get back. [fast penta is perfect, no ill physical effects or pain. You simply have to tell the truth.]
